Is it normal girlfriend and baby issues

I have a girlfriend, and i love her so much. She wants a kid though, and i gotta admit, i want one too. But as much as i want one, i don't think i can support one. I haven't finished school yet, i'm with my parents, she and i go to seperate schools, i don't have a job ETC. I'm worried i'm breaking her heart by saying not yet, and she may leave me. Should i give in and have a baby with the love of my life when i'm not ready, or keep making her wait at the cost of possibly losing her? I mean, what do i do about my parents to? They might evict me for god's sake!

Voting Results
46% Normal
Based on 24 votes (11 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • Isabella80s

    Do not rush into something as serious as having a baby! You will both enjoy it so much more and the kid will be better off if you wait until you're a bit older. Your girlfriend's desired for a baby are very normal (trust me!) But whilst these desires are strong, she probably isn't quite ready for it. Take some more time to grow as people first etc. and that will actually make you better parents in the future. Lastly, it must be hard for guys when a girlfriend/partner is going on about wanting a baby! But you have to give them the space to let these thoughts and desires breathe. Although, you do seem quite understanding and are sort of on the same page yourself, so I'm sure you personally don't need that spelling out to you.

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  • Terence_the_viking

    One thing i will say is you will never be ready for a baby.

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  • ObsessedWithReedus

    Don't give in and have a baby when you aren't ready to support it. Express your concerns and reasons to your girlfriend and if she is anyone worth keeping, she will understand. Finish high school AT LEAST, get a job, your own apartment or place, then have your baby.

    I wish you many happy years with your girlfriend and, one day, a beautiful baby.

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  • Ixu

    I quite honestly have very little against young people having a child. In-fact, it is healthier for the mother and the child the younger the mother is when she gives birth.
    Most importantly however, the child must be properly cared and provided for, and since you and your girlfriend are still in school you may have a limited amount of time you may spend on caring for your child. The next people that would be responsible are your parents and your girlfriends parents but before dropping a baby into their laps you absolutely must speak with them. A lot of mothers with teenage or grown up kids would secretly love to have a little baby again, so talk this through with them and see if they are even financially stable and have the time to support a new member of the family.
    If the potential grandparents are opposed to the suggestion, understand that they may have their reasons, they may not want to take on the responsibility, they have their own lives and you and your girlfriend must wait until the two of you are capable of supporting a family of your own.

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  • iEatZombies_

    You should definitely not give in. You're trying to do the right thing here. Don't crap on an unborn child's life so you can satisfy the whims of an angsty young woman. Also, you -have- to be able to be honest with her about these things or the relationship won't work out anyway. Just keep in mind it's more about how you approach the conversation than it is the conversation itself. You just need to be clear and sensitive, you should be fine.

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  • Moonbow

    If you're smart, you'll tell this girl to take a hike. Otherwise, you're going to end up supporting a kid for the next 18 years! And as for "making her wait," GROW UP! If she is dumb enough to want a baby at her age, she will have it regardless of whether YOU want it or not. Women have numerous methods of "tricking" guys into knocking them up.

    Tell her what will happen to her body if she gets pregnant: she'll get fat, she'll likely get hemorrhoids and varicose veins, she'll fart and piss all the time (while she's pregnant) and we haven't even gotten to the worst part. No more hanging out with friends, texting and yakking on the phone, no more extracurricular activities. Her entire life will become a routine of baby feedings, changing diapers, walking the floor at night with a screaming infant, etc., to the point she won't have the energy to study, go to school, or anything else! She will spend the remainder of her youth tied to a baby and the fun will be OVER!

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    • AllenFlows

      There's no need to be so hasty dude. This is a help forum, you don't have to be rude when people ask questions.

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  • J3553

    If she leaves you for being rational, then she's not a keeper.

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  • Avant-Garde

    God damn! Why is it that all the young people in modern society are constantly rushing to have kids even though they know damn well that they don't have the proper means to take care of one?

    You need to tell her WHY YOU don't think you are ready. Ask your parents for advice, have them tell you just how hard it really is. If you feel that she might leave you over something like this then she is not the one for you. Also keep in mind that once you have a child with someone and whether you like it or not you'll always be linked to that person. Move on from her, finish school, get a job, your own place, be independent and successful.

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  • Ilovdorks101

    Love is patient. If she can't wait, then that is a big big red flag.

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  • cookiesaregreat

    No, no, noooo. Just no. If she does leave you just because you didnt want to have a baby with you, believe me, she is not the one. I'm sorry for my short answer, wanted to write something more intelligent but I am tired and just wanted to let you know my input on this all.

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  • Caffine

    I'm speaking with concern towards the baby you both go for it only when you've planned his or her future well.

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  • GoraIntoDesiGals

    Explain it to her as it is: you can't support one yet.

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