Is it normal for your mother to make you feel ashamed to be yourself

39% Normal
5 Comments

I don't know. I'm suppose to appreciate everything my mother does for me because she has taken good care of me as a single parent, and I've had an amazing childhood. But besides that, emotionally I've never felt support from her.

As a kid I dealt with weight problems, and even know after losing that weight, I still suffer with weight problems. And I've never known her to actually say comforting things to me, to make me feel better about myself. When I was overweight, she'd always comment about how big I was. When I lost it, she just talked about how sickly thin I started to look. And it just made me feel that I was ugly no matter what I did with myself.

How I dress is different from how my peers dress. I dress more casual and preppy while they dress more urban. And to her, how I dress is different or gay. She didn't call my style gay but she mentioned that it's different, and my grandmother told me that she told her that her co-workers thought I was gay because of my style. So basically, she felt insecure about it, and thought the same thing.

I'm into Anime, Disney, and just about anything that touches you. I love all types of music too. And sometimes I'm afraid to play certain music around her because I feel that she's judging me, thinking it's weird.

I'm very creative, and I think differently about stuff than others. So I don't always act typical but I'm not that different, I'm just shy and quiet. And I don't speak much because I feel misunderstood, and most of the time the people in my environment judge me.

Stuff I love, I'm not comfortable with it because she and others don't think like I do. Everything is weird or different to them. I get called dumb, crazy, and stupid by her. And I feel like she sometimes try to purposely embarrass me because the moment I feel most embarrassed, it seems like she'll take the opportunity to further embarrass me.

She knows nothing about me but assumes that I'm some weirdo who stays in my room, who doesn't have a life. But I'm insecure, depressed, and have alot of anger built up inside of me. And regardless of any conversation I try to have with her, she'll twist it around to make it seem as if she's right. And when I lash out, she makes it seem like I have a problem. But she's doing this to me.

Voting Results
39% Normal
Based on 144 votes (56 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 5 )
  • xxMJSxx
    11 years ago

    I'm 22 now. I kinda been sheltered and spoiled, since I'm the only child. It's like I have a hard time transitioning from a child to an adult due to my emotional state, I guess.

    One minute, if I'm making an adult decision, I'm too young. The next minute, if I'm acting childish, I'm too old.

    She wants me to be an adult but treats me like a child.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • Wüstenfuchs
      11 years ago

      As your mother, you'll always be her little boy. I'm really emotionally sensitive, as well, but it just seemed to me like the best thing I could do is carry on being myself. Do the things I liked doing, no matter how weird my parents thought I was. My dad was the one who called me gay, and threatened to put me in dresses or do my hair and shit like that, while in public or around family friends. It was humiliating. -.- But I kept on, and when it came down to making adult decisions, I made them without my parents' inputs. Usually, they didn't turn out well; first time I moved out when I was 20, ended up homeless for a few years. But, over time, my parents really stopped caring about the quality of my decisions, and noticed that I was independent, and they respected that. (Now I avoid all family as much as possible, but that's unrelated. I never forgave my father for the way he treated me growing up.) Personal experience of relatedness! Hope it helps in some way! Don't be homeless, sucks! >_>

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • DanishGirl
    11 years ago

    wow...I'm really sorry:( My mom used to do some of the same type of stuff to me. Your 22 right? You've got to find a way to put those issues aside right now and start thinking about what you want for your future and yourself, and some counseling in that equation also. It will help you to further progress yourself. I can only speak for myself when I say the best thing I ever did was bide my time and when I could leave I did and I sought out help to deal with the emotional and mental aspect of it. It made me the kickass person I am today. You have nothing to prove to anyone but yourself and when you finally realize that their is nothing wrong with you and that your mother is lucky to even have you in her life you will be able to move on and concur these feelings of depression and anger. The best thing you can do is do something for yourself. Life is to short to live in misery. I hoped this helped and best of luck to you. Remember their's nothing wrong with standing up for yourself and who you are. You cannot let other people define you and you'd be really surprised about how many people would love to be apart of your life. Find your self-confidence. I did and it was the best thing I ever did.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • XiaoLou
    11 years ago

    It's normal. To our mothers, we will always seem like babies in her sight. I'm a female and my mother does almost the same thing because I'm too skinny(I'm anemic) and I'm a tomboy.. So just ignore it, be yourself! Don't mind what others think about you. Try to spend time with other people than your mother as well.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Short&2thepoint
    11 years ago

    How old are you?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0