Is it normal for your man who you been with for 13 years to be mean an

16% Normal

ive been through hell and back with my husband hes been in and out of jail many times this time i lost every thing he cheated on me 3 diffrent girls i finally did sleep with a guy while we were on a break i was homeless and got raped we have two girls of our own that dont live with us i got raped after he was away and gave the baby from my rape up for adoption ...i told HIM EVERYTHING i did while he was away he keeps throwing in my face that i slept with someone and for years my husband was abusive i stuck it out kept it real but after 5 years away he and i have a muscle disease tried to kill myself etc. WE decided to MOVE on now hes been home and he is mean mean when hes asleep hell say how much he loves me he does cook i cant never did except with our daughters we have nothing in common he gets mad and flips cause i talk when he plays xbox i feel like soooooooo alone even with him home except at night im not afraid but he wont help me i need mental support no one of my friends does he like some were men and i gave them up the ones that are girls i either lost along time ago cause they dont like him or im not allowed to talk to them ive been through so much being raped homeless his family did awful things like rob me so i have my momo but she cant be with me 24/7 im tring to stop pain meds but hes tring to strart he wont watch movies or tv NOTHING HE GOES FOR HOURS OF WLKS I CANT PHCYALLY WLK ANYMORE all i want is to make him happy it hurts so bad that he wont spend time he promised to come home and help me i m lonly he yells wen i talk while he plays his game i love him so much but i dont no what to do im not happy cause hes not what do i do pleeeeeese weve known each other since 11 hes the only man i want but if i cant make him love me i dont trust him he cant drink and just the other night he did and well ..........ill never allow that again sometimes i feel like hed pefer to go to jail i stress all the time i do have now deep mental problems but i want my kids and want to be happy DO NO THAT THIS ISNT NORMAL BUT HOW CAN I FIX IT I HATE BEIN THE "mom"bad guy roll not allowing fun i dont want to hang on corners i cant wlk what can i do i try to talk to him but he says im tring to start a fight

Voting Results

16% Normal

Based on 31 votes (5 yes)

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Comments ( 20 )

bostonpuckbunny37

11 years ago | pl

^Shut the fuck up. She clearly is desperate for help. You fucking asshole

You need someone to talk to. A counselor, family member, doctor, anyone. STOP worrying about him because he has made it clear he doesn't worry about you. You are strong and you deserve to be treated better. it's better to be alone than to be lied to, cheated on, abused and disrespected. Work on yourself and getting your little girls back. You don't need anyone who doesn't need you. You'll be okay girl.

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- NeuroNeptunian
  
  11 years ago
  
  This.
  
  OP, this man does not value you. He sees you as expendable and a doormat to walk on and the only reason he comes back to you is because he knows you'll be there, unlike the other women he gets with who probably ultimately give less of a shit about him as he does about them.
  
  You don't need him, You don't need this bullshit. YOU DON'T deserve to be treated like that.
  
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[Old Memory]

11 years ago

"DO NO THAT THIS ISNT NORMAL BUT HOW CAN I FIX IT"

You can't. 13 years? You have been going through this for 13 years? This isn't going to change.

My mother had a BF for about 10 years. He was in and out of prison for robbery, forgery, and a shit load of other things. He is the father of 2 of my little siblings. He put us all through so much shit. I cannot tell you how many times we had our cars set on fire, houses broken in to, and cops busting threw our house all because of him. He used my mothers name to buy shit with blank checks, and ended up putting her in debt.

He cheated on my mother countless times, and she still took him back.

You have to leave him. That is the only answer. If you are looking for any other option besides leaving him, you are in the wrong. You are putting your kids through so much shit by being with him.

I watched my mom go back to him so many times that i grew to hate her. She is lucky that my siblings were not old enough to remember everything she did, because they would have felt the same way that i do. They already hate their father.

I know a lot of people that have been through the same things that i have, and they also have no respect for their mother. I know it is hard. You love this man, but you need to leave him. There is no other option. Leave him.

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- fartonmyface
  
  11 years ago
  
  This is the advice you need to follow.
  
  It sounds to me like you are going through some major emotional struggles, and have been for a while. But you seem to have a hardcore anxiety issue and you're obviously depressed. You should seek help from a doctor, maybe a psychiatrist. I know it can be very hard to dig yourself out of such a deep hole. But you really can't keep living your life like this day by day. Before you know it 10 years are going to have passed by and you're still festering in your home with your husband who (I'm sorry to say this) seems to be dragging you down even further. You need to think about yourself and your kids. Your husband is a grown man and he can do whatever he pleases, which he's obviously made clear to you already, so don't worry about him. If I were you I would get out of that house, live with your mom and have her help you raise the kids. She is your mother and if you tell her what's going on and how you are worried, I'm 100% sure she would take you in her arms any day. I just don't understand how you went homeless when you have a sister and a mother. Family NEVER lets family go homeless. EVER. Whatever the reason may be, you need to seek help from your family. They are the only ones who can assist you in getting out of this mess in my opinion.
  
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  - that22
    
    11 years ago
    
    my mother remarried years ago her husband doesnt like me
    
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    - fartonmyface
      
      11 years ago
      
      So what? She's still your mom...
      
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boston12

11 years ago

first of all you cant make anyone love you. he sounds like a selfish arse munch, u hav a hard enuf life with out this dick wank screwing up ur chi. get ur skates on girl and stop being co dependent on this jerk. find happiness with out him. be brave

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Hippie

11 years ago

Move on. Leave him.
I realize you were looking to fix it but you can't.
On a humorous note, call Dr. Phil.

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- Justsomejerk
  
  11 years ago
  
  I actually thing Dr. Phil is the only person who can help here. Seriously OP, call Dr. Phil.
  
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Energy

11 years ago

Leave him. You'll be better off without him. You're just wasting time and energy on his ungrateful ass.

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americanhoney

11 years ago

Is this a fucking joke? The lack of education here is staggering. Holy Jesus

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Mlopez0718

11 years ago

You'd be surprised of how much therapy can help and you obviously also need to see a doctor about your walking problem. Nobody has the right to judge you! So you care about the guy because he's the only one you've learned to love you can't help not being able to stop caring, it's really about if you want things to change. Therapy will help you talk to your husband without fighting..by him saying that he doesn't wanna talk you both are just dismissing the problem and not solving anything. My advice is just go to therapy it really helps and ultimately is someone listening to your problems and go to the doctor to see about your walking problem(: hope I helped, you're really not alone!

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Avant-Garde

11 years ago

Leave him. It's been 13 years and you're still in denial about the relationship. Leave him and never look back then, go find a man who actually values you.

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[Old Memory]

11 years ago

he sounds like he does what he wants when he is out of the house and then he comes home and plays his game, this is a hard one because you are under stress and believe it or not so is he, i think you need to seek counseling, this is too hard for you to work out on yr own and too complex to look to him for answers , go on yr own first then talk him into to have couple counseling, if he wont go you will have to let him leave , you must dig yrself out of this hole with or without his help, btw a small dog will guard you at night just as easy

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- that22
  
  11 years ago
  
  wow thank you your right merry xmas love isnt easy
  
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mysterymen3000

11 years ago

That was the longest fucking run on sentence I've ever read.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  really why bother if you got nothing to say helpful
  
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that22

11 years ago

well thank you but this morning i found him all alone cring on the floor i ask him whats wrong he wont talk to me I HAVE NOOONE TO TLK TO MY MOM ONLY WILL WORRY MY SISTER DONT CARE and so i cmean his family are all on drugs so i feel bad his mom was drunk saying awful things last night he says i treat him like shit but i ask him write a list so i can work on it no no and his one sister came from flordia she not great either but i love her i told her he was cring and to please come by he new my mom was coming today to take me to see her and he flipped in front of his sister he trashed our new apartment hes now cleaning it up he said he was leavin and i said if he dont love me fine she his sister said i treat him like shit UNTIL SHE GOT HERE AND SAW HOW HE IS FOR HERSELF i mean i do love him i want him to talk to me i did gain wait cause of the rape i got preganant i gave the baby up for adoption he said i disgust him and im fat i can get a breast reduction and gastric bypass im so alone i dont no who to tlk to thanks for your in put i wish i could walk my muscle disese is bad i may never walk like i used to i no i m a burden to him im in pain a lot but if we only have each other why not tell me how to help i mean i was with another guy 1x while he was in prison for 5years we werent together and i chose my husband i regret doing it but he cheated on me once the again while i was in high risk pregnancy with my girls then he cheated and abandoned me and the girls while i was opreg with his 3rd child i wanted to go to school he had flipped n wen i found out i was pregnant i didnt go i went to pick him up with my girls and he had a hickey on his neck for 3 mounths he didnt come home i had to get a medical nes aportion ill regret it always and then i tried to kill myself i no how stupid that was and selfish of me but now i told him all that happened while he was away i regret it but he throws my mistake in my face how can i mean we said we were going to move on and start fresh i was scared today when hebroke the house up i mean i no you say leave but i want to say i tried everything pleease my spelling isnt impotent sorry any advice on how to get him to talk i no this isnt normal

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lovenhappiness

11 years ago

One question for you. What is the reason that you love him? I know you said you have know him since you were 11 but to me the reason why you think you love him is because that is how you know your life to be. It is a lot easier said than done but you need to leave him. You can not be putting up with that.

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- that22
  
  11 years ago
  
  YOU ASK ME why is it i love him well i mean i feel like hes hard life i believe hed kill for me i mean i lost my virgenity to him but hes s made mistakes but i love him cause he was always loyal when we were kids and i believe no one will love me fat i mean he did though i havent always been fat and he is kind and he knows me like noone else could ever no me also the kids and i mean he has stood by me but when he drinks hes crazy so he dont but i mean he does good things hes i no my only real relationship but he is a good person and i no hell protect me and never let anyone else hurt me
  
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