Is it normal for your fiance to get mad you look through their phone?

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25 Comments

Obviously hes done things to make me have trust issues. Why does he get angry I look through his phone? Is there stuff in there he doesnt want me to see? Or does he simply want me to trust him enough to not feel like I have to look?

He also takes his phone w/ him EVERYWHERE. TO shit, piss, shower. To go grab something from another room!! Its literally in his pocket at all times and weve lived together for years. I just lay mine down wherever til I have to use it.. So, whats his deal?

Voting Results
40% Normal
Based on 121 votes (49 yes)
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Comments ( 25 )
  • beardsareforrealmen
    12 years ago

    I am a guy who does the same thing. Its not because he has something to hide necessarily, it has much more to do with trust. There should be a mutual trust between the two of you, so you shouldnt feel the need to search through his phone. If you have any real suspicion of him cheating then you should just ask him, and if he says no then end it there. If you cant do that then maybe the relationship isnt meant to be.

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  • MandaPanda86
    12 years ago

    If you feel the need to look through his phone it means you're trying to find something that shouldn't be there - therefore you don't trust him and you shouldn't be marrying him because this is just a small example of trust issues that are going to come up later in your marriage. First it starts out with you snooping through his phone... next thing you know you're that crazy bitch stalking him when he works late or goes out with the boys. He's going to start resenting you for your trust issues, it's just not going to work out well for either of you.

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  • lc1988
    12 years ago

    My bf would do the same thing but usually he'll play games on the toilet or use it to play music while in the shower. I've never really had the urge to look at it though. Some things are just better left private.

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  • dontgiveup:)
    12 years ago

    If you don't have enough trust in him, then why marry him? You don't want to live with someone who you don't have enough trust in. Talk to him.

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  • STFU23
    12 years ago

    it could be both, who knows

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  • deepfull
    12 years ago

    you've already had trust issues with him - and now he doesn't let u touch his phn and plus he takes it everywhere. trust is the cornerstone of every relationship - you should never feel uneasy or restless about things like 'can i trust him' or 'is he hiding something'. it shouldn't drive you to come on to sites like this and ask questions like yours. relationships are all about sharing , are you sure you want to get married to this guy and live in constant fear of whats really happening in the life he won't let you get near?

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  • Darkoil
    12 years ago

    I used to get angry when my girlfriend would try and look through my phone, only because there were txts and pictures i really didn't want her to see. Your fiance probably feels the same.

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    • klynn
      12 years ago

      pictures and texts u didnt want her to see??? Me personally, I have nothing to hide. I do not care one bit if he went through my phone

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  • dom180
    12 years ago

    You shouldn't look through his phone. It is his private property. I'm sure you wouldn't want him snooping through your stuff.

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    • klynn
      12 years ago

      he has. I dont care because I have nothing to hide. We have been together for 7 1/2 years WE both feel whats mine is yours. I dont look through his phone much anymore like I use to when he was doing stupid shit. But I do notice he keeps it attached to his leg in our own home...weird to me

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      • dom180
        12 years ago

        Well it seems pretty clear to me that you don't BOTH feel like that, only you do. Everyone needs something private. Maybe he has something about the wedding on it? Maybe it is meant to be a good surprise? Maybe it is excruciatingly embarrassing for him? All I'm saying is don't presume the worst of him, it's probably nothing.

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        • sapincher
          12 years ago

          Good point - he could be keeping a daily photo log of bowel movements or foreskin restoration or whatever that is intensely personal.

          Plus, just because you (klynn) feel like you wouldn't care if he went through your phone doesn't mean you should expect the same behaviour from him.

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  • sapincher
    12 years ago

    I take my phone everywhere because it's one of those things where if it's not on your person, IT'S LOST FOREVER AND WHERE THE HECK DID I PUT THAT DAMN THING!!

    And as for getting angry about going through the phone... I would get angry if significant other was going through my phone. I mean, I'm not cheating or anything and there's certainly no private content that I'd like to withhold from them, it's just that the mere fact that they're poring through your phone says "I don't trust you worth a damn. Therefore I bet I can catch you cheating on me by looking through your phone."

    The comment directly above mine is good advice.

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  • Grendel1013
    12 years ago

    I have been in a long term relationship with a Woman, and I was the same way. I never cheated and never had any intentions to. When my ex went through my phone it pissed me off, I felt like she didn't trust me so she had to snoop around.

    Or lets switch rolls for a bit. How would you feel if your man always asked you who you are talking to on the phone? Always snooped through your phone? Always went through your Face Book/Email? or read your diary? You may not be cheating, but you feel like he doesn't trust you.

    Feeling like the one you love does not trust you is a horrible feeling, and SOME men keep their phones under lock and key to avoid that situation. Especially since Men have more female friends than male friends.

    And yes, there are some men that do cheat. But don't jump to any conclusions.

    My advice is to talk to him about it, and ask him why he does what he does.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Well i wish I could answer that for you hun, but I think you have to ask him. Woman have "senses" which are usually true. Just ask him why he can't put his phone down for a minute!

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  • klynn
    12 years ago

    What about the 2nd paragraph i wrote?????

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  • klynn
    12 years ago

    I agree with every statement above. It is hard because we have kids together :(

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    I personally don't think he would be getting upset if you look through his phone if he didn't have something to hide. If you have trust issues because of things HE has done, then you should probably re-evaluate your relationship and make sure that this is a person you want to be with forever.

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    • sapincher
      12 years ago

      I would get very upset if someone were snooping through my phone, even if I had nothing to hide.

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      • klynn
        12 years ago

        Im not just someone. HE asked me to marry him. been together 7 yrs. I wasnt like this til he statred to lie about other women....
        And your comment implies that u wouldnt care if u DID have something to hide???

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        • sapincher
          12 years ago

          Right, I understand that you're more important to him than a stranger, but I meant "someone" in terms of "any human being." Even if my current boyfriend were looking through my phone, I certainly wouldn't appreciate it. And even if I did have something to hide, I also wouldn't appreciate it. I don't know what you meant by that last sentence.

          On a different subject - has he been taking his phone with him whereever he goes for the entirety of the seven years you've been with him (or however long he's had a phone)? If so or even if it's been a trait he's had going on for just over a year, it's probably like my case - I just don't want to lose it. If it's something new then you should ask him about it.

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      • [Old Memory]
        12 years ago

        There's a difference between looking and snooping. What if I just wanted to play a game on it? What if my phone was dead and I wanted to use yours for a second? I don't like "snooping" either but her dude sounds like he's just hiding his phone on purpose. She said he gave her prior reasons to not trust him, so her "snooping" was brought through his own foolish actions.

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        • sapincher
          12 years ago

          There's a difference between "using my phone for a second" and "looking through my phone" (as in your original post) aka snooping.

          Taking the phone everywhere with you isn't a sign of hiding it on purpose - I do the same with mine because I have such a tendency to lose it if I don't do so.

          You do not know what this guy did to cause this gal trust issues, so I wouldn't automatically default to accusing him of being foolish.

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        • klynn
          12 years ago

          Thank You!!! His lies has turned me into this person, I'm trying to give him a chance to redeem himself from his mistakes but honestly this is taking toooo long!!!

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    He is cheatin in yo ass

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