Is it normal for women to become gay and dislike sex?

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My wife and I have been married for 31 years. About 10 years ago, she confessed to me she had a trist with another girl in high school...and enjoyed it. Because of her religion, she does not act on her lesbianism, but there is forced intimacy in our relationship. If I had known this before our courtship, I would not have married her. We now have four children and 7 grandchildren. This is information none of them know or will ever know because it would be too damaging.

She told me not to kiss her and our sex life is a struggle. She tolerates it and cannot try anything outside of "basic" climaxing because she says it makes her feel like a lesbian. It is difficult on me to know she is not turned on by me or wants any intimacy, but I am commited to our relationship because of our kids and grandkids. I have not been with other women and do look at this as an option. Any ideas, short of getting snipped, for me.

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Comments ( 4 )
  • randomjelly
    13 years ago

    Divorce. It's what's for dinner.

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  • BlueAlice
    11 years ago

    Being bi (and not realising it until I was 19 or so after having forced myself to either be straight or gay throughout my teens and having relationships with both genders), I'd like to say that I don't think she "became" gay as such.... she just couldn't force herself to live within the confines that her religion is disgusting enough to force on her any more.
    She may well have some emotional attachment for you and/or the children (I hope), but I think you need to let yourself be free to see other people.

    It's a shame that she didn't (Couldn't? Wouldn't?) tell you before, and I don't think it's right, but that's what religion forces some people to do.

    Sorry, I know I sound like I'm siding with her too much.

    I hope you two can still be civil/tolerant of one another one day, if not friends.
    My heart goes out to you both and I wish you two and the kids the best.

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  • chaosdragoon1
    12 years ago

    You need to accept the fact that it only requires a real man or woman to raise children. You will end up slacking on the care of your kids and grandkids because this will eventually bother you non stop.

    You've got more important things at stake than your stupid appearance. And no offense to you, but your wife is a grade A bitch. She used you as a meal ticket instead of standing up on her own 2 feet and being honest.

    I despise cowards like that. DIVORCE HER ASS.

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  • moomus
    13 years ago

    Agreed^^^^. unfortunately it looks like u may have to put up with it or get out.

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