Is it normal for wives to accept and forgive husbands' past relation?

57% Normal
13 Comments

And is it normal that husbands cannot forgive and forget wives past?? ...i also think along the below lines:
I think i have made a terrible mistake!! my wife insisted on revealing my past relations (if any) to her for number of days.. i finally gave in and revealed All my past relations which were 4 in number. But the disasterous fact was they were no relations at all !! - just going out with the girl (1 at a time) and normal kissing and hugging, thats it!! no sex (never) or intimacy! that too only for a few days not for months or years, that too years back!!.. now the bitterness that has suddenly appeared in my relation with her is haunting me day and night. I am feeling like a super idiot of having revealed such things which looked like i am a dog and a potential cheat . i want to get rid of this bitterness as soon as possible and make up to her.
Also , i cant tolerate if tomorrow she decides to keep any extra marital affair as a part of taking revenge because of the above incidence. I cannot pay such a heavy price of my idiocy.. Can anybody help me ensure that my wife doesnt get down to taking revenge in such a way?? and i make her love me again?

is it normal to think so?

Voting Results
57% Normal
Based on 28 votes (16 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • Justsomejerk
    11 years ago

    Are you an idiot?

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    • vikarr
      11 years ago

      why do u say that??

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  • VioletTrees
    11 years ago

    Go to a therapist. That's not an insult or anything, it's a sincere suggestion. I really think you should consider therapy to work through this.

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    • vikarr
      11 years ago

      so i take it is normal. but y dont u wanto elaborate your suggestion?

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      • VioletTrees
        11 years ago

        If you think your wife would cheat on you, it sounds like you have some real trust issue in your relationship.

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        • vikarr
          11 years ago

          okay - did u really think one should visit a doctor to realise that??
          anyways, thanks for your thought - i do agree with you that i we should have trust within us.

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    11 years ago

    That depends on the context. I know in some religions and cultures, even touching a woman you aren't married to is a huge taboo.

    If that is part of your culture than I can't help you, however, I think it is foolish of her to turn against you for something like that because even I know of very few cultures in which this is a SEVERE taboo. It seems like she might have had problems with the relationship already or she has mental problems ("I can't believe I am not the only one!" self absorbed).

    If it is not a taboo in your culture than your wife is trippin' shit.

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    • vikarr
      11 years ago

      thanks ! i also think so. But do you think it is normal for the man to accept and forgive his wives' past? i mean i think it is much harder for the man to forgive as against a woman? am i right / normal?

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      • NeuroNeptunian
        11 years ago

        In my experience, all but the more conservative type of men are generally a lot more easy-going regarding their wives' past then women are regarding their husbands.

        I think you guys should have solved this problem before you had gotten married and considering that you are NOW married and JUST NOW solving this problem, I'd say you guys really need to communicate more.

        Usually, it's harder for the woman to forgive, from what I have seen but you guys are both married now, so just move on. There's no reason to break apart a marriage because of a past, most people have one. To say "I should have been the one and only person in my spouse's life" is territorial and cocky.

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        • vikarr
          11 years ago

          thanks! there is no question of breaking it! no, i am not thinking on those lines.. but i do feel that i am the kind of guy who can never take my wive's past lightly unless something is very positive about that... is that normal?

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          • NeuroNeptunian
            11 years ago

            I would not say it is abnormal. After all, she is your wife and you want to believe that she was pure when she met you so I can't blame you for having those feelings. In a sense, it is normal but to overreact is not.

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            • plum6
              11 years ago

              ofcourse everyone would secretly want their partner to be 'pure' and completely theirs but this is pretty unrealistic.

              It is nasty and unfair towards the poster that he gets blamed for actions that he cannot undo at this point, and which would have probably never even happened if he would have met whom I assume is the love of his life earlier on.

              However, I can't help feeling a bit sorry for the woman too. I can imagine that she probably doesn't want to feel like this and would love to be able to get over it.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    Yes because it is the past.

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