Is it normal for us to have strong emotional chemistry..

74% Normal
7 Comments

Went out with this guy and we hit it off right away. From the moment we met we just 'clicked'. He is really bright& has a cute quirky personality. I feel like i can trust him with anything.
However, I am not attracted to him in the slightest -I don't find him good looking.. and after 3 dates, I told him I'd prefer to stay friends. Now, a few months later, he wants us to try dating again.
I don't know if it's normal not to feel anything right away.. If I didn't after 3 dates will I ever? Is it worth another shot? No that I believe in 'love at first sight' &all that but he really is NOT my type at all & I don't know if I can expect that might change .
Is it normal for two people who click emotionally to eventually develop a sexual attraction?

Voting Results
74% Normal
Based on 34 votes (25 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • mumbum
    12 years ago

    I reckon if the sexual side of it isn't there it never will be. You could try talking yourself into it, but for the long haul it has to be more automatic, and certainly three dates would reveal it if there was any potential.. It is sad when this happens, but there will be someone you meet one day who is everything this guy is AND he will be a dream to sleep with.

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  • shuggy-chan
    12 years ago

    this saddens me , but oli is probably right. I just feel like this guy all the time.... Meh

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  • WhiteStallion
    9 years ago

    In youth, the sexual attraction element is crucial. You may like his personality but chances are you won't find the relationship satisfying enough. I think you did what I would by deciding to break it off. Don't feel too bad about it... happens all the time. You just have to find a partner that is compatible for you in both respects.

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  • TheConsciousElectron
    12 years ago

    Story of my life!! I completely understand what you mean. There are men who I WISH I was sexually attracted to but I'm just not. I make a lot of good guy friends that I'm not the least bit attracted to. When one of them asks me out, I almost feel guilty for not feeling the same way.

    Isn't it weird how you can almost love a guy but never be sexually attracted to him? At the end of the day, I justify my decisions because I base them off of my initial instincts about how I feel about a guy. If the sexual attraction isn't there, then why should I settle for less?

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  • ygrowup
    12 years ago

    These friendships often turn to love! Do you really think, that when you are old and gray and wrinkled he will be attracted to you? Love is much more than that, if that is what you seek. If not, move on to someone you lust for, and forget love! Good luck with your choices!

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  • elliemango
    12 years ago

    Thanks oli and shuggy chun! How long do you think i should give it? (I mean I initially thought 3 dates was enough -they were pretty long, 5-6 hrs each- and I have no idea if I can even expect s/t like that to change..)
    But i would prob make up some excuse--I would hate to tell him he's not attractive to me because he's a really nice guy and I'd never want to hurt him.

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  • Oli
    12 years ago

    Just give it a go, but tell him the truth. if i a while you're not attracted to him, end it.

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