Is it normal for unrequited love to never fade?

88% Normal
13 Comments

Okay so ever since I was around 13 I have been utterly head over heels in love with this other girl. The thing is that she is actually gay but I come from a very religious Catholic family would disown me if they found out that I am Bi. So anyway we were close friends and she trusted me pretty deeply. I was the first person she ever came out to and when she told me I remember thinking "huh I actually have a chance with her". However, even after she came out I still kept my sexuality a secret because I am really ambitious and couldn't risk dropping out of school in the event my family found out and disowned me. She began dating another girl and it damn near broke my heart but I wanted her to be happy so I stayed silent and she never found out that I loved her. Fast forward a few years and I am still head over heels in love and she still doesn't know. We haven't seen each other in over a year now but I still can't shake off he feelings I have for her. I sometimes feel as if I sacrificed the love of my life for my ambition. Is it normal for me to still be in love with her all these years later?

Voting Results
88% Normal
Based on 8 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • Nokiot9
    8 years ago

    Yeah. Sometimes the hardest feelings to bury are those that aren't returned or ones that aren't accompanied by some kind of closure or continuance. This guy I used to hook up with a few years back, we'll call him Fred, I ended up falling in love with. Told him how I felt. And the relationship we hd quickly disintegrated because he was scared of commitment. Fred was sexy, and funny, and intelligent, and stable. He was everything I wanted in a man and he just didn't or couldn't return my feelings. And to this day it still hurts when I think about him.

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    • flyingnostalgia
      8 years ago

      My friend, thats the reason why you should never tell a guy your feelings!

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  • Redcoats
    8 years ago

    People make sacrifices every day. Is it always for the greater good? We will never know.

    I think you should get in contact with her again. You never know what lies ahead in the future, life's too short for regrets (:

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  • squirrelgirl
    8 years ago

    My first love was another girl, I was 13 at the time and she had been my best friend for about a year. To make a long story short, she rejected me and bullied me alongside her other friends.

    Even though she turned out to be really mean in the end, I don't hold a grudge against her at all nor do I blame her for her actions. When I think of her, I only think of how much happiness she brought me during the one year when we were best friends.

    It's been about 11 or 12 years since we've last spoken to each other, but I still love her very much. I even have dreams about her on a regular basis. People used to tell me to just "get over her", but I don't think I ever will.

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  • [Old Memory]
    8 years ago

    love answers to no family

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  • JD777
    8 years ago

    Normal. You followed family, peer and ambition pressure instead of following your heart. That might be hard to ever get over and may be something you regret for life. Wouldn't hurt to contact her and see if it's real mutual love. You can deal with the decision to "come out" later.

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    • RobynFlyte
      8 years ago

      Contacting her isn't that simple. She's dating another girl right now and they are very happy together. I would never want to come between them because honestly? All I want is for her to be happy

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  • RoseIsabella
    8 years ago

    Its been over 25 years, and I still have feelings for my first love.

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    • wistfulmaiden
      8 years ago

      I dont think about my real ex boyfriends but I think about my teenage crush. Who probably didn't know I existed. Sob!

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      • RoseIsabella
        8 years ago

        Oh yes, but mine was more of a celebrity crush. I had a big thing for Roger Taylor from Duran Duran!

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        • wistfulmaiden
          8 years ago

          He is cute.
          Mine... I admit I've cyber stalked. He's now a radiologist in Tampa so it only hurts more!!!

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  • Wildberries45
    8 years ago

    If it's meant to be it will happen. Ask the universe to bring that person to you. If it doesn't happen just do things that you love and enjoy life. Don't worry about that love. The right person will come and sweep you off your feet! I promise. I had an unrequited love and I found someone that truly loves me. It was worth not stressing over a love that I was may not feel the same. Good luck! Enjoy life

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  • Asstastics
    8 years ago

    This unrequited love thing happens to many people (including me). It will help if you can become a lifetime friend, stay in touch, so you know how each other's lives are progressing.

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