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My sons are 19 and 21. They have had girlfriends which they generally end the relationships for pretty good reasons. The problem is they do not ever go out. They have a few friends which left and joined the military. They are always home. They work, but do not enjoy life. They sit at home on computers all the time. Is this normal?
If they 'Do not enjoy life' (in your view?) Then its time to make some changes for them.
Since what's happening right now isn't working, its time to start something new.
Boating; Fishing; Camping; playing Sport; rock climbing; overnight short trip; Driving a car!; Going to the city; buying new Clothes; Sky diving!!; Bungee jump!!! etc etc etc etc etc The list is endless.
Please start suggesting things in your family.
Hmm, I've always wanted to go in a hot air balloon? Who knows? This is where your experience and knowledge of what these young adults would like needs to be addressed.
Once you've completed that one task, plan the next (new) adventure.
Sitting at home at the computer all the time now where have i seen that before...
sounds like they need friends. But for some people being on the computer is good enough. I have a friend who is very into computer stuff and he's chosen playing online games with friends instead of going out with me to bars.
It is pretty normal but not a good habit to get into. Encourage them to make friends and get out of the house.
Tell them you are reducing the electricity bill and turn the computers off.
While they are sitting playing, they are missing out on 'real' life experiences and not creating any memories. If you have allowed them to do this for years, then it's going to be a hard habit to break. But, if you don't - at some point they'll turn round and say, "it's your fault, you let us!"
It's like parents using the TV as a babysitter, they don't care as long as their kids are quiet and not bothering them. However, if you care, enforce your rules while they are living with you!
Dinner together.
No computers until weekend or after 9pm.
Conversation without the TV on.
etc. etc.
Whatever rules you want to lay down!
My teenage son got up one morning to find his access to the internet disconnected :o) Took him all day to get over it but now he plays basketball a lot more and has more real life friends who call to the house for him.
normal as im like this but its not that i dont want to go out its becuse i can find anyone to go out with - most of my freinds talk with me online and me and my sister could and would play xbox all day and night if we could.
Maybe you could plan something fun to do as a family. They'll probably complain, but you should try anyway.
Going out with so-called friends that they won't even contact after high school and getting drunk/high/attempting stupid dangerous stunts is not "enjoying life" to many people. They do what makes them happy. Hopefully they'll go into computers later in life, Networking engineers and server technicians make a very comfortable living!
Don't worry, I live w/ a 29y/o man who doesn't do anything but work and sit at home...some people r just homebodies.
They are too old for you to make major changes their behavior now.
I would encourage them to pick up social hobbies. No need to nag just say you were walking by a martial arts place the other day, or art course, the gym or whatever they might be interested in. Probably the best thing to do, if you encourage them then you can probably push them in the right direction.
Also if you are a stay at home person yourself maybe try and set a good example by getting out more personally.
take them to a strip club....or give them another addiction if you know whattaimean