Is it normal for someone to wish they were dead?

33% Normal
5 Comments

We are in an economic bind as are most families nowadays. My wife and I were discussing her need to get a job that will give her more hours. Her current job has dropped her to 10 hours per week. She was upset because we discovered that without additional income from her we may need to move back to parents.

Out of nowhere she says "you would be better off if I were dead". I said what is that supposed to mean? She said if she were dead I could collect SSI for the kids (we have two children 3 and 5 yo). I started to laugh because I didn’t think she was serious, but then she said that she had thought about drinking the Drano. I hugged and kissed her and said don’t be silly. I hugged her some more and I told her that we would figure it out and that we weren’t destitute yet, and we ended the discussion at that. But it has stayed in my mind. What should I really think of this? Is this just to get a rise out of me or is it a guilt trip or what?

Voting Results
33% Normal
Based on 76 votes (25 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • Ibelievethis
    12 years ago

    I really feel for all of you, your wife is possibly suffering from depression, Please encourage her to visit the doctor. I don't believe that a person ever wants to die. I think they just want the hurt and the pain to go away. Your wife is lucky to have such a wonderful and supportive husband, and 2 beautiful children and to be honest from the outside looking in she may be the envy of a lot of women, but then the other person grass always looks greener xx

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Shes feeling suicidal. You need to help her out (not by confronting her, necessarily) help reduce stress for her ASAP by whatever means you can. Plan nice things for her and you to do, and REASSURE her that she IS needed, is worthy, and IS doing the best she can, and that things will turn out. She also sounds like she could use someone to talk to. Make sure that she is taken care of. Times are tough, we don't need to lose more worthy people. :)
    ALSO: She is NOT grabbing attention. She seriously feels bad, trust me. Don't buy peoples ignorant BS about this.

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  • Bannef
    12 years ago

    This is definitely not a guilt trip. My guess is she's legitimately thinking these things, and brought it up in an almost joking situation to test the waters. This can be so hard when money is a problem, but please try to find her help. And assure her that there is no way in the world life would be easier for her kids or you without her, but that that doesn't even matter - you want what's best for her, ultimately, and this isn't it.

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  • Avant-Garde
    12 years ago

    She sounds depressed/suicidal. Maybe she was trying to test the waters by saying that. Hid the Draino If you have to and makes sure she gets some help before it's too late. While some people have been help by medications, they also ironically can cause the symptom of suicide. Try natural if you have to and therapy. Do something, before she tries something. Good Luck!

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  • Shackleford96
    12 years ago

    I think that you definitely did the right thing by comforting her like you did. I do not think it is normal, and I do not think that she said that just to make you feel guilty or "get a rise" out of you either. She may be suicidal or suffering from depression. You should talk to her about it and definitely let her know how much she means to you and to the kids as well and try to do whatever you can to help her out of that kind of thinking, whether that requires counseling(which doesn't always help, but could) or doctor visits for special medications, etc. I don't much know what else to suggest, but I hoped this helps. Good luck.

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