Is it normal for social anxiety to interfere with your sex life.......

82% Normal
27 Comments

sex life,does anyone have social anxiety that interfere with there sex life at all.i just dont want to feel like im the only one here.i get so many try's so many female's like me but my social anxiety and quietness keep me from doing what i really want.mostly cause of past horrible relationship's.

the reason why i have social anxiety cause i been through emotional abuse from a lot of people even my family.and no the girls are not thinking bad of me at all i realize that but even thinking positive dont have good effect on my anxiety.i wan in the pool the other day with two girls who like me and i was asking my self to talk to them and like always i did't then it turned out to be weird,cause when i dont talk to a girl for a wile they get weirded out,thats natural tho.its just there's really nothing to get weirded out from im a nice guy.

really in my past the people i trusted with my heart that i though was good people,friends,family,end up finding everything bad about me and expoliting me to everyone i knew,its like this.imagine this,someone you trust and love end up finding the worst thing about you and end up telling everyone about it.and then everyone started treating you just the same way,but what you did is very personal its nothing to harm others its just something very personal about you.in truth you want to be positive.

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82% Normal
Based on 49 votes (40 yes)
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Comments ( 27 )
  • Beanman
    9 years ago

    Social Anxiety (by DSM definition)is not normal.
    However lots of people have this problem.
    One of the symptoms of social anxiety may manifest itself as a sexual problem and or intimacy problem.

    Certainly many people just learning about sex and starting sex, have lots of anxiety. This is indeed normal.

    Editorial Comment: All people, forever and always will be hurt by loved ones. The only way for you to avoid this is to stop loving them, be completely indifferent, never develop any connection to anyone.
    or
    Just become a hermit with psychosis. In Montana. In a cabin. Just writing letters and a manifest to the media.
    (wink)

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      i think i'm becoming a hermit with psychosis.that truly sounds like me right now(wink)

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      • VirgilManly
        9 years ago

        I honestly think there are so many people with various forms of social anxiety disorder that it is normal. It's all a matter of severity.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          9 years ago

          well i got it sever,and to top it off its hard for me to deal with.like there's where a time i would have sex with a girl but only if we alone,and there was a time when i did 3 some but only if no one find out about what i do sexualy i would be ok haveing sex with the person.

          i had the best sex with one girl one time then everyone knew about it after that i meet the girl again it was only us and she was trying to hit on me again but i said no to her.

          is this what you really call anxiety

          i be called many names due to my action's and fear's.

          i dont think my family is my family,i really want to leave but scared to be homeless,but if i leave i think i would have so much peace.

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  • Anime8
    9 years ago

    I think it's really normal actually. As for how to overcome it. I honestly think you should work on yourself before you jump into a relationship. Figure out why you're scared to be around people, and work on building some confidence. Give yourself a compliment every day. Fake it till you make it is an ideology that I truly believes works. Focus more on positive outcomes. Talk to people and honestly just act like they already like you. Be the person you want to be, perhaps then talking to people won't be so bad.

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    I don't have social anxiety at all but I do have Asperger's which is also a social disorder and it seems to effect me quite a bit with this stuff.

    I'm actually very socially outgoing, but I have no idea how to interact with people and have no cognitive empathy. I seem to think girls are into me when they're not and don't notice the ones who are into me. I'm not even sure if I can bond with people the way other people describe.

    I communicate much better online because I have more time to think as I type where in real life I have no filter.

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  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    I think it's interesting how "social anxiety" is such a common malady on here. As if it's the answer to everyone's shyness.
    Folks, WAKE UP! Almost everyone of us has periods in life and situations where we have trouble interacting with new people, groups, girls, boys, gays, lesbians, teachers, persons in authority, etc. etc. etc.
    You aren't really that different, special or odd. You are just a NORMAL, healthy, slightly shy individual. GET OVER IT! Nobody said life was going to be easy. It can be downright hard, but that doesn't mean we should quit trying and go hide from it.
    Conquer your fears and go out into the big bad world and have some fun. Laugh at yourself, your fears and your shyness. Go get laid, make some friends and live your lives, live your lives, PLEASE!

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    • kingofcarrotflowers
      9 years ago

      Are you really that ignorant towards anxiety or are you hoping for a reaction.

      Anxiety just like depression is quite often due to a chemical imbalance and/or underlying disorder, there are those that would benefit from exposure therapy and just getting out there but many require extensive and sometimes expensive treatment.

      When my depression and anxiety was at its worse a few years ago I went hungry some nights as I couldn't face leaving the house, anxiety is a serious and destructive thing it's not being slightly shy

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      • thegypsysailor
        9 years ago

        Dude, I've been there. Nobody was able to "fix me", though; I had to do it myself. I had to make a choice NOT to allow my depression and anxiety to rule my life. It's still there, by the way, and on the really tough days, it tries to resurface, but I won't let it. And it is very, very hard. There is no magic button the doctor can push, to cure you. There is no magic pill. Whatever it takes, it must come from inside an individual and it is never easy.
        I will stand by what I posted, because all too often (from what I read here on IIN) it is not a "serious and destructive thing", only the normal shyness of youth we all go through in life. Too many here choose to think they are ill rather than normal, but perhaps shy individuals, because, hey, that means they are not at fault and it's OK to suffer. But your defeatist attitude (sorry, but that's how I see it), is not helpful. Life is a battle, from the instant one is fighting to remain inside our mothers, in that nice, warm, hassle free womb, rather than being expelled into this cold harsh world. So tighten you belt, stand up straight and fight your way through the darkest parts of your mind, just as you do in your video games. No one should accept less than the best life has to offer. Ever.

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        • kingofcarrotflowers
          9 years ago

          Wow, I could practically hear the patronising tone even through the text

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          • CountessDouche
            9 years ago

            Hahaha, I know right? I was thinking exactly the same thing...too bad I can't thumb down!

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          9 years ago

          quote,No one should accept less than the best life has to offer. Ever.

          thanks that really means a lot to me.i'm going to remember that.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          9 years ago

          people had hate me so much,cause i don't have sex,are talk to beautiful girls that want to have sex,and trully i regret every moment i reject a beautiful girl,i'm so handsome.i'm 25 this been going on all my life,i missed out on a wonderful sex life,and if i don't fix it soon i'ma kill my self that's how bad its effecting me.damn i need help.

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        • CountessDouche
          9 years ago

          Wait! I thought Dexter killed Jordan Chase, but here he is posting away...where did my season 5 DVD run off to?

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      • Anonymous Post Author
        9 years ago

        don't call me ignorant please,i complete understand where you comeing from tho,and everything you stated i already knew,i have done a lot of research.its not that easy for me but to who it is,i have always suffer some type of social phobia.social anxiety is a beyond shyness shyness is something someone can get over,anxiety is different like you said a chemical imalance.

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        • kingofcarrotflowers
          9 years ago

          No not you I was talking to gypsy sailor that's why I replied to him

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          • Anonymous Post Author
            9 years ago

            Oh,sorry i have't notice that at the time.

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            • kingofcarrotflowers
              9 years ago

              No worries :)

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  • NeofelisNebulosa
    9 years ago

    I've learned that we often get too worried about what others think. You may think girls are thinking harshly about you, but in reality that is probably not the case. Just smile and reach out! As for myself, I was struggling with loneliness, but i realized that asking others to hang out instead of waiting for them to invite me was the way to go! And now i have a better social life. Good luck!

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      thats not easy for me.i avoid people so i dont get hurt by them

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      • NeofelisNebulosa
        9 years ago

        You said you reject sex from girls all the time? And youre handsome? I'm curious what you look like. You definitely need to start saying yes to these girls if they really are offering you sex.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          9 years ago

          and another thing girls dont ask me if you want sex,they just give me sign's like pulling up there paints to show there ass.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          9 years ago

          i would only say yes to them if i want to have sex with them.

          i look like terrence howard(

          https://www.google.com/search?q=terrence+howard&espv=2&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=Zg6_U7_aBsLC8AHM1IDIBg&sqi=2&ved=0CAYQ_AUoAQ&biw=1280&bih=699

          but im a bit chubby like 210lb

          it's just this anxiety.

          i was in a pool with two girls that liked me,one said i have pretty eye's,the other just keep looking at me,both was sexy,but then after a wile one girls sister/cousion statred looking at me weird in a way like,whats wrong with him.

          its so hard for me so hard cause i fear rejection are nagitivity.

          every time this happen my brain go in to quite mode like dont talk to them the less they know the less they can hurt you.

          its like a survival mode.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      i tell my mind theres nothing wrong with it sex is normal/natural. its ok be happy if she want you and you want her theres nothing more to say sex is a personal thing between two people and if she like you and you like her go for it it something good in life that you want.that you need.

      life is about being happy and haveing relationships make's it so you dont have to feel lonely are bored.haveing a girl friend is a good thing in life its teach you how to love and be loved.so if she like you she want to be happy with you theres nothing wrong with that just go over there and be your self.

      is this a normal way of thinking cause most the times when im with a girl my mind just goes blank,and hope no one is looking at me talking to her.when in others head they thinking get with her its a good thing you would feel better i promise.

      but imagine if you been emotionaly abuse for so much and for so many years by friends by family,what would you do but have low self esteem.and you have intellexual disability.i have low verbal and nonverbal reasonaing with a iq of 85 at the age 25.life is hard for me i mite as well end it and hope for the best.i have a overly negative thinking.i find it so hard to help my self.im scared to be happy that's how i feel.

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