Is it normal for small talks to feel like lies?

88% Normal
7 Comments

I'm very bad at having small talks with people because I feel like small talk is shallow. even though I do relate to some of the talks, I think they barely scratch the surface of what is really going on in my mind. therefore the whole talk feels like a bunch lies from my side (even though what is being said is factually true) because I don't feel a real connection with the subject given the boundaries of small talk.
since I very much hate to lie or be with others who lie, the whole act of small talking feels very robotic, shallow and uncomfortable.

is it normal for feel like this?

Voting Results
88% Normal
Based on 16 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • kingofcarrotflowers
    9 years ago

    I get that sometimes, only occasionally though if I'm speaking to someone I don't know or like about something I'm not interested in, but you have to go through those talks in order to get to something deeper, plus the world would be a weird place if everyone was talking about everything on their mind all the time, for example when someone asked me how I am they get the expected " yeah not bad, you? " instead of a 5 min rant.

    furthermore interests are subjective what you may perceive as idle chatter may actually be on a subject that's important to the other person, for example music, despite it being others creations I connect to it on a personal level whereas I may be talking to someone who isn't a music lover

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      very well put and explained.
      thank you

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      • kingofcarrotflowers
        9 years ago

        No, thank you :)

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  • ParadiseLost1323
    9 years ago

    I've never been interested in small talk. I would prefer it if everyone shut up unless they had something important or funny to discuss.

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  • scrount
    9 years ago

    We do small talking because we run out of things to talk about. Small talk is there as a back-up as far as I see it, plus its easier and helpful when you're just starting to get to know someone, although you do get more out of the conversation when you delve in deep to the topic.

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  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
    9 years ago

    well who the fuck wants to talk bout the depths of theys mind with some random peoples on a bus?

    unknown or littleknown peoples that git too deep or personal worse than the ones that be spoutin inane crap. specially when theys wantin me to be tellin personal shit too

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  • green_boogers
    9 years ago

    I call it "brain bleed". Ask people what they do. Then formulate a complicated question that they would know something about. You will become an interviewer. Uncover their interests and passions.

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