Is it normal for ppl to have their kid in an opposite sex change area?

I was a PE teacher's assistant for a few months and a local park district employee.

The park pool had open swim for kids and families at in between lap swim periods and local swim team practices or meets. What I am talking about was in the locker room.

I was showering after weights in the park house locker room, where there's also the pool. Like most public pools, to get to the pool area, you walk through the the shower room, because they expect you to shower before entering the pool.

I was shampooing up and all of a I hear a little girl's voice say, "Hi!" It was "Betty", one of fourth graders
from PE who was there with her older brother, probably 8th grade or high school age. They were already in their swim suits. I quickly turned the other direction and said hi back over my shoulder. Older bro saw that she recognized me and said hi. Betty said I was her gym teacher.

Here I am naked in a shower room, and I'm having an impromptu family meeting while the girl is standing right there, frankly looking me over. Even at that age I think they will be curious about a grown member the opposite sex. Not to read too much necessarily into it,but with big bro about his own business she was not even pretending to look the other way.

One other guy in his teens passed through on his way to the pool, noticed and seemed startles by the girl's presence, pulled his trunks on quick and kept moving skipping the shower.

Big bro is showering and says he's supposed to keep his sister with him when ever he takes her anywhere.

Finally he says ok come on and she says bye.

The next day at school I saw Betty with her pals and she they were giggling and I couldn't be sure about what. Maybe she forgot about the whole thing, but I can only imagine what she was talking about.

So, Is this normal?
Advice?

It's something you're supposed to deal with	11
It's appropriate as long as people aren't totally nude	3
It's acceptable as long as people keep their backs turned	2
It depends on age (give age liimit please)	25
It's different with boys and girls	2
It's always a bad idea.	14
I should have just acted normal and it wouldn't matter	15

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Comments ( 23 )

jetstream13

11 years ago

Generally, kids over age 5 or so should not be in an opposite sex change area. Fourth graders are way too old to to be in one! Things just get awkward and uncomfortable once a kid gets old enough to actually start paying attention to nudity and the opposite sex.

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- MsWVgal
  
  11 years ago
  
  I agree. A fourth grader is perfectly capable of going to their own locker room. Though I think ages 5+ should go to their own locker room, I think under 8 should still be with a parent (or taught to walk straight through.)
  
  To the OP: this is something you should have mentioned to the principal, so they have record should the parents throw a fit over it (if they find out.) I know teachers, especially men, need to be extra vigilant to avoid problems. Trust me, I saw the unfortunate aftermath that was a few of our high school teachers' careers, after simple rumors. Things can get blown out of proportion, fast.
  
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  - Anonymous Post Author
    
    11 years ago
    
    What would the parents be throwing a fit over? It's their idea to handle it that way.
    
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    - MsWVgal
      
      11 years ago
      
      Because parents throw fits over everything. A teacher at my high school got fired because a girl was talking about how hot he was. The parents heard her and thought they were having inappropriate relations. The girl finally said it wasnt true but after the court, the news, and the humiliation he just couldnt go back there.
      
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      - Anonymous Post Author
        
        11 years ago
        
        I wouldn't know how to approach it with stirring the pot.
        
        How would you view it if it was you, the genders being reversed? That is a side of it I have not heard I would be interesting in hearing.
        
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  Well, she was definitely paying attention.
  
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chuy

5 years ago

If you're a single parent with a child of the oppsite gender what are you suppoed to do? I would have my kid in a towel covered up and facing away from the other people in there and trying to distract him/her.

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thetalentless

11 years ago

I'd say they should be 9 years old at most. Older than that and it's getting weird...

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shade_ilmaendu

11 years ago

I must have just been that sheltered, I would've never been allowed to go anywhere on my own at the age of 9. O.o

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  When I was a kid we went the pool with other kids, but maybe parents feel more protective today.
  But at 9 should one feel funny about her being in the man's shower room? What about a 9 yo boy in the woman's?
  
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ProseAthlete

11 years ago

I'm not sure of the exact circumstances here, but at her age, she should have been old enough to go through the women's changing area/locker room, not with her brother. If she were an infant or toddler, then yeah, he might not have had a choice, but at her age? No way.

Of course, my feelings on this may be biased because I absolutely haaate the fact that at my pool, the women's locker room/changing area is a vile mess with people's rotten sprogs always underfoot while the men's is pretty much pristine, according to my husband. If I had my way, it'd be Men, Women and People With Kids.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  Yes, a family change room would be better for everybody I suppose, but I think most suburban parks don't have them.
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  It is possible she might be younger if she skipped a grade.
  That's odd, I would've assumed the women's would be more tidy.
  
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ChrissySnow

3 years ago

I feel more for the young girl. MOSTLY my mom brought us to the public pools so mostly it was my brothers that got brought into the Ladies Locker rooms. I'm short and was always thought of a lot younger than I was so I was brought in with my Dad way later in age than most girls, I think. Anyways, I do remember paying a LOT of attention to the boys and men there. I was more fixed on all the hair that they had. The men that looked like Wookies scared me

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ranul

8 years ago

I would have no problem if there were girls in the change room with me no matter what age in fact I would prefer a co-ed change room but I would be bothered if they came already in there swim suits or dressed in cubicles . I don't like it when other males use cubicles when changing it is like they have something to hide

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NeuroNeptunian

11 years ago

Uh huh huh, no way. I'm going with the other posters here. Being a 4th grader, she should have been old enough to take her own showers. No, under 5 is usually permissible, like a toddler. A toddler can't shower on their own.

I hope she liked what she saw. I am imagining the scene in there and it's hilarious.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  Maybe she skipped a grade to get to fourth.
  In either case, nobody offered any advice if it happens again. There's a good chance it might unless one of us moves. It's not like I have a body hang up or am assuming there is anything sexual about it though.
  
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  - NeuroNeptunian
    
    11 years ago
    
    That doesn't change the fact that she is over the age of 5. Go talk to her brother or parents. Her brother might not even know that it is inappropriate if he is young himself.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      11 years ago
      
      The brother said it's his mother's wish. There is a girl at the desk and she said there isn't a stated policy, it never came up. She asked if I wanted to make a complaint and I sheepishly said no.
      The last time he just walked her through quickly in 2 seconds. Is it a big enough of a deal I responsible to take it further than that?
      
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      - NeuroNeptunian
        
        11 years ago
        
        That's for you to decide. If you don't care enough to do anything about it then don't.
        
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q25t

11 years ago

I'll say 5 as well. It's a about the same time they start going to school where they are perfectly allowed to go the restroom by themselves.

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Couman

11 years ago

So she must have been 9 or so? That definitely seems too old. I agree with jetstream13, 5 seems like a good limit.

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Energy

11 years ago

I wouldn't be comfortable with that. And I doubt they were too.

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Are You Normal?

Is it normal for ppl to have their kid in an opposite sex change area?