Is it normal for poor people to feel depressed around rich people?

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20 Comments

My sister recently moved in with her boyfriend who happens to be seriously wealthy. A few months ago they asked me to visit their new home. He is very proud of all that he has and was excited to show off his new Lamborghini. I was polite and acted enthused as I felt this was the expected response however it depressed me to be around someone who has more money than he knows what to do with while I am on unemployment which has almost run out and I apply for 10 jobs a week while juggling bills around just to get by.

My sis is now inviting me over to spend Thanksgiving with them. I don't want to go because of how it made me feel the last time I was there. He is not being an ass or rude or anything, he is just proud of his riches so I get that. But this does not change the funk I find myself in after returning home from a visit there.

I think about how I feel after watching a tragic movie depicting someone whose life is a complete wreck, someone who is way worse off than me. Somehow this makes me feel better about my own situation. I find myself comforted by thinking that my life could be a lot worse and I go about things feeling less down on myself.

But when I leave my sister's place and return to my home, I just feel like throwing in the towel, like what's the use struggling every day just to survive while this guy buys a Lamborghini simply because he's bored and looking for a little spice.

Am I jealous? I can see how it might appear that way. But when I see $100,000 impulsively spent on a whim for a toy, I can't help but think how a life could be completely changed with that kind of money. From my perspective, him showing off his new toy to someone in my position is just bad manners. I see it as if I got a nice juicy steak and went downtown and ate it slowly in front of a starving homeless person and told them how delicious it was.

I would never voice these thoughts to him as that is not proper by my rule book. I understand that he is in no way responsible for the way I feel after exposure to his lifestyle. But feelings are feelings. I don't think we can choose our feelings, we can only be aware of them and then decide how we will handle them.

Voting Results
91% Normal
Based on 35 votes (32 yes)
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Comments ( 20 )
  • RoseIsabella
    9 years ago

    Envy ain't one of the seven deadly sins for nothing, honey. I understand and respect your feelings, but please remember to be gracious and try not to pass judgment. Don't let your feelings of jealousy rule you!

    Who knows, maybe this knows someone who's hiring and use someone like you?

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    • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
      9 years ago

      ironic yallre chimin in here gordon gecko, no?

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  • Rich_Guy
    9 years ago

    You deserve to be a bit depressed because we are your overlords. The lesson here is to understand the wealthiest 1%.

    1. We are better at math than the masses.
    2. We put high value in creating wealth thru innovation and investment. Not the destruction of wealth by copious consumption (except for celebrities).
    3. Accept your place in the world. You will never be us.

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    • TimmyTheTurtle
      9 years ago

      Loooooooool i can respect this troll XD

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  • reminiscent
    9 years ago

    I agree this is envy ... there are always going to be people better off then you and people worse off then you. Be thankful for what you do have. Does your sister know of your struggles? Maybe they can help you find a job or hire you for work themselves.
    Thanksgiving at their house sounds like free food....I could personally never pass on free food. ..*drools*
    I personally think your feelings of envy are causing you to miss out.

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  • Freedom_
    9 years ago

    Essentially, you want him to feel to pity you and yet I'm sure this is not truly what you want.

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  • Ellenna
    9 years ago

    I think it's really bad manners for rich people to show off about their wealth in front of poorer people.

    I have a friend who does this and I love her dearly but I'm almost at the point of telling her that I don't want to hear about how much her husband's racehorse costs or what their investment properties are worth when she knows I'm struggling on a pension.

    She does take me out to lunch fairly often but sometimes I wonder if it's worth it because of how I feel afterwards, so I know how you feel.

    Maybe you could try what I'm planning to do when I get up the courage: ask politely why h/she thinks I'm interested in hearing about his/her wealth?

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    • green_boogers
      9 years ago

      Ask her for investment ideas. If she has none then you know that she thinks you are a poverty object.

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      • Ellenna
        9 years ago

        Did you actually read my post? What use wd investment ideas be to someone with nothing to invest?

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        • green_boogers
          9 years ago

          Showing off her wealth should motivate you to think differently about money. If you piss away everything you earn and feel sorry for yourself, how will you ever you ever change?

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          • Ellenna
            9 years ago

            I don't "earn" anything, I am in my 60's on a disability pension. How can you assume I "piss away everything I earn" when you know nothing about me?

            I don't feel sorry for myself, I just wish I didn't have to worry about money as much as I do when I've always worked hard but due to circumstances I'm still poor.

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            • green_boogers
              9 years ago

              If you are in your 60s, it is too late. You are a poverty statistic. Oh well.

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        • Rich_Guy
          9 years ago

          If you could do maths better than the masses, you could calculate that a meager 10% of your income invested on a regular basis would be compounded in the stock market giving you enough to retire on in your meager lifestyle.

          Your desire for riches keeps you poor by rationalizing poor spending habits. You know nothing of return on investment, marginal cost vs. marginal revenue, or the like. Your financial ignorance is precisely why we, the 1%, are better than you.

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          • Ellenna
            9 years ago

            I do not have 10% or any % to spare to invest in anything, and I don't have a "desire for riches", only to be able to live rather than survive at subsistence level. You know nothing of my circumstances or my spending habits, in fact I live very frugally and always have.

            I certainly don't agree that you are better than me; in fact I regard myself as better than you because I'm not judgmental or critical of other people.

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  • Holzman_67
    9 years ago

    yeah you feel in a funk because you are letting yourself succumb to very negative emotions, such as envy, jealousy and the self analysis that comes with comparisons to others.

    While this is normal, its not healthy and necessary. appreciate all on their own merits. cut yourself out of the equation. it can be done.

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  • noid
    9 years ago

    Yes it's normal.

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  • green_boogers
    9 years ago

    This is about reference groups. Most people pick a reference group close to their own means. In the end, the person in that reference group that has the farthest horizons wins. This is why many working class people drive Honda Civics to 400,000km and spend money on travel, or occasionally on cultural events.

    Rich_Guy raises a good point. Return on investment works for everybody, whether you are buying a refrigerator, or investing in an index ETF for retirement.

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    • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
      9 years ago

      important to note that theys plentya real wealthy peoples what drives honda civics and dont go round shoving peoples noses in theys money either

      typically older money though

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      • green_boogers
        9 years ago

        Sorry. Thanks for saying that. Bet you have had some nice vacations down on the beaches of Mexico when y'alls take a couple weeks off from the possum farm.

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