Is it normal for people to fake empathy to feel a sense of belonging?

i noticed that this happens a lot with certain folk. Does anyone get me?

Voting Results
81% Normal
Based on 62 votes (50 yes)
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Comments ( 24 )
  • Justsomejerk

    I get you, and I can really feel your pain. Who's with me guys!

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    • Iranianlionheart2

      hahahahahah lol

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    • Allistalla

      I do this two . I dont know I think its fine some poeple are overly sensitive and blame you if you are not .

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    • flutterhigh

      Nice delivery. 10/10, would read again.

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  • SeriouslySerious

    "We're born alone, we live alone, and we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion that for the moment we are not alone."
    ~ Orson Welles

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  • Boo!

    Sometimes when there are people who I care about that are hurt I fake empathy so that they don't feel alone on the matter but not for the sense of belonging.

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  • dappled

    But how do you know it's fake?

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    • disthing

      Good question!

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  • I do this in my real life, but not for belonging, just for gain.

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    • disthing

      I guess a sense of belonging is gain to most people.

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      • Iranianlionheart2

        were all good at expressing ourselves, sharing ideas and learning about ourselves,, i have faith in evolution and mankind once more....

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    • Iranianlionheart2

      and you may have just hit the nail on the head. i think that is what drives pretty much our every move.

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      • Francophile22

        Actually, to a sociopath, narcissist, etc. their own gain is all. Nobody really counts except them.

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  • Musician

    Is it normal? Yes.

    Is it always right? No.

    Dad is right when he says we should all have some empathy for others in pain, and if you don't, like he said: please see a psychiatrist.

    Specifically for your question, however, a perfect example is the youth group meeting of a mega church. I can guarantee a large percentage of the kids there don't believe in whatever denomination being preached...they're simply there so they can belong.

    I know this because that's exactly how I made friends after moving to a new town. I told myself that I believed and I was on the same page with the people there, but deep down in my heart I never really believed. And where am I now? I can count on one hand how many people I still talk to on a not-even-regular basis from that church.

    It's hard to say if my case of faking empathy was necessarily wrong. I mean, I believed that I believed, at the time, but at the same time I was lying to myself. Then again, I made a lot of friends there and had good times with all of them, and dated many! But still. I was definitely lying to ALL of them. So the morality...it's gray. But I'm going to go ahead and say that it's at least slightly twisted.

    Okay, it's wrong. Another good example: in an attempt to get closer to a girl I was interested in, who was a really big human rights activist (concerning genocide in Africa), I in turn began to be more of a human rights activist. In reality, though, I never found myself caring to much about the situation, lingering on good ol' George Washington saying "never to meddle in foreign affairs." In the end, it blew up in my face.

    So, if your empathetic to comfort someone: karma +1.
    Personal gain at the expense of lying to another: karma -1.

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  • 80% of people on this site. Add "tolerance" to that too!

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  • D-Fib

    This is a better option to actually showing they don't care.

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  • Dad

    I think it can be classed as polite to be empathetic at times towards others misfortune.
    But I am concerned if someone does not have any feelings of empathy or a below standard of this feeling.

    I suppose one opposite of empathy may be sadism. This type of lack of empathy may need medical or psychological attention.

    Its true that some people do lack empathy, I find this sad.

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    • Francophile22

      Actually, the lack of empathy is either a sociopath, a narcissist or sometimes those with autism.

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    • Iranianlionheart2

      yes i agree. do you think it comes from being selfish or self centred?
      but at the same time, at times people talk about something which is of no interest to you and your too polite to say stop talking.

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      • Dad

        From trying to analyze someone else for many years, who didn't seem to have any empathy (or very little) I believe its 'self centered'.

        Being 'polite' is a whole different story. It could be classed as polite to say to someone, can you please stop talking so much about this, as I have now lost interest in the topic.
        By 'putting up' with this type of thing would actually be impolite to the one talking, if he finally found out (possibly from others) that you weren't interested.

        Politeness and manners can still have assertiveness as well.
        Empathy is something we all should have with maturity.

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        • Iranianlionheart2

          thats true. like if somebody is talking about something which is positive and helpful to them then we could maybe gain something by participating properly and getting insight into what theyre saying. but if its something which is either negative or trivial, in your mind, its probably usually best to not feign interest. but it depends who it is, a friend, or a stranger for example.

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  • Anime7

    I'm sure some people fake empathy in order to bond with others due to a common experience. However, I'm sure that some people fake empathy in order to be there for their friends and offer them a shoulder to cry on.

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  • Iranianlionheart2

    maybe they mean belongings? no, i dont think so. however, i dont have a clue what this means, so, for that reason, im out. i wont be investing today.

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  • NotFloydzie

    Define belonging.

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