Is it normal for people to be so superficial?

67% Normal
7 Comments

I am 24 year old male.

As a late bloomer, I have been on both sides of this neverending issue with superficiality.

When I was younger no one liked me, because I didn't look good at all and because I was never "the funny guy". I was a geek and looked like a geek. All my friends were geeks too. It is funny, but apparently similar looking people always hang together for some weird reason. I never had a traditionally good looking girlfriend at this point in life, but I never cared either.

Friends, and even my family, always told me that I shouldn't care about appereances, because the inside is the only thing that matters. And I truly grew up with that mentality always in my mind. However, later I kind of learned that apparently that phrase seems to be what people tell "ugly people" so that they don't feel sad.

I don't want to brag, but these last years I have become relatively good looking. I am certainly not an Adonis either, but I believe that I am handsome enough for some people to actually feel attracted to me when they see me.

What shocks me is how different seems to be the mentality on "this side". People I have met lately basically tell me that it is completely unnaceptable to date an "ugly chick". Even the people that say that personality is important, also claim that the appereance is much more important. I have heard this so many times now: "If you want a nice personality, why would you date just a nice chick if you can find one that is both nice and hot".

I don't know. I just suddenly feel like everyone is so superficial. But the worst is that it is actually affecting me so much, that I am starting to be a little more superficial just to fulfill society's expectations.

Honestly, I lost so much faith in humanity this last year that I don't even want to live in this planet anymore. So, is this normal? Are all people like this?

Voting Results
67% Normal
Based on 39 votes (26 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • jeebley
    10 years ago | pl

    Firstly, welcome to the beautiful people's club.

    I'm just kidding, we never mention it directly. I think it's interesting that you've experienced this from both 'sides' so you see how people treat you differently.
    And yeh, I gotta say, I think everyone is superficial like this to some degree.
    I used to rail against this and think people were so shallow, but then even I would have my limits. If a woman was mutant ugly, she would have to be some kind of amazing person for anyone to be attracted to her.
    Also, some women don't look the hottest, but they have a sexy sparkle and personality which is extremely attractive.
    The people in your post do sound like morons... what they're saying is generally true, but it sounds very shallow and there's no need to say it.

    So... people aren't all that bad, not everyone thinks SO superficially. But yes, fairly obviously looks do play a part in attraction. Although it's paper-thin, the depth comes from personality, which creates massive attraction, sometimes despite looks.

    So don't lose faith in humanity! But also accept that people are going to assess you based on your appearance, and take advantage of it.

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    • Short4Words
      10 years ago

      Could not have said this better myself. Personality is the biggest attractor.

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  • Holzman_67
    10 years ago

    Which planet are you going to move to?
    You think this universe is bad, you should see some of the others

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  • Short4Words
    10 years ago

    You shouldn't give up on what you were taught, it's true. I had the same struggle, and made the same choices as you. But you get so much more out of life if you can look past what's on the surface. It really limits you as a person.

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  • udolipixie
    10 years ago

    Yes it's normal. I'm unsure how you thought otherwise considering the high beauty and youth standards gals face and how often female characters are simply wank material or eye candy.

    You've even showed it by noting how you didn't have a traditionally good looking girlfriend. It's always amusing to me how often guys talk about superficial in the context of 'that hot/attractive gal doesn't want me'.

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  • Unimportant
    10 years ago

    It is extremely hard for a good looking person to not become shallow.

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  • Tommythecat.
    10 years ago

    The pressure is unpleasant yes, it's just another negative part of the modern world.

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