Is it normal for parents to be two-faced

36% Normal
19 Comments

Not literally of course. But here's the explanation: I have had a normal youth, maybe I was even spoiled. I am an only child. I still live with my parents in my mid twenties, to my great embarassment. Anyway, my parents act nice in my face, but behind my back my mother says things to my father like that it doesn't really matter to her if I exist or not, that I make her aggressive (this she never showed) and that she never felt a bond with me because I'm too different from her. She sometimes drinks alcohol so I guess that might be the case of this radical change. When I confronted her about these things she just denied ever having said them and when I told my dad he became angry at me and said everybody says things they don't mean sometimes. I feel bad about dwelling on the few negative things my mother has said while she has raised me normally and also did good things, but I can't seem to forget them because they weren't said in the spur of the moment in a fight but in a calm way. So that is what I want to ask: is it normal for parents to say such things behind your back? I'm fretting about this for a year now. I really want to know if this is normal or not so I can go on with my life. Thanks in advance.

Voting Results
36% Normal
Based on 11 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 19 )
  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    Why are you still living at home in your mid 20's? No wonder mommy is a bit upset with you.
    Time to make your own way in the world, pal.

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    • Elaine27
      8 years ago

      I never get hired, but thanks for your deep insight.

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      • thegypsysailor
        8 years ago

        And you've been trying for how many years?
        There are plenty of reputable employment agencies out there that can find almost anyone a job. They cost money, but you don't pay until you have the job, so everybody wins.

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        • Elaine27
          8 years ago

          Not for the simple things I'm looking for, I would die for even a cleaning job but they seem to be all fullfilled

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          • Elaine27
            8 years ago

            Also, my username is fake, both the name and age, I have been trying for a long time yes but not that long thank God then it would have been even more pathetic than it already is

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      • fafashishi
        8 years ago

        dunno what area you are from. You should try little caesars or subway.They needs wavers really bad right now. They pay me 9 bucks an hour to dance on the sidewalk in the street with a fake guitar.I get alot of hours because i am good.

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  • dirtybirdy
    8 years ago

    My sister in laws mother is the most wretched, two faced pigcunt that ever lived.

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    • thegypsysailor
      8 years ago

      I don't have any extended family, so I'm a bit dumb about who's who in that department, but wouldn't your sister in law's mother be your husband's mother? Honestly, just asking.

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      • charli.m
        8 years ago

        Could be her brother's wife.

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        • dirtybirdy
          8 years ago

          Right you are. Big brothers wife's snooty mother.

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          • thegypsysailor
            8 years ago

            OK, got it, thanks.

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    • Elaine27
      8 years ago

      I wonder why your brother's mother in law is two faced and wretched though? What did she do or say?

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      • dirtybirdy
        8 years ago

        She's just a miserable person who acts nice to your face but you can tell she's full of shit. I knew she was shady the first time i met her before we were even introduced. She complains about absolutely everything, she involves herself where she doesn't belong, she talks shit about her daughter behind her back after saying the opposite to her face. She's just a waste of space. She's really an awful person. And what makes it worse is she is the type to put kids in the middle of arguments.

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        • Elaine27
          8 years ago

          That sounds difficult to put up with. The worst thing is that such people never admit it when they're wrong

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    • Elaine27
      8 years ago

      I am sorry for you and your sister in law

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  • RoseIsabella
    8 years ago

    I don't think this is normal, at least not in general. I'm willing to bet that your mother is an abusive alcoholic.

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    • Elaine27
      8 years ago

      Fortunately no, she once visited site for alcoholics (I saw that years ago by accident while looking something up on her computer) but she has control over her drinking habit and functions normally.

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  • Zorwog
    8 years ago

    Not to sound too harshly judgmental, but in order to get respect as an adult, you need to earn it by being an adult - even when the current lack of respect is coming from your parent(s). Seriously, still living with your parents and not being employed in your mid-twenties doesn't warrant a great deal of respect. You need to get yourself employed and stop depending on your parents to continue supporting you. Look at this from your parent's perspective. While they may not show their disappointment directly in front of you, they've spent twenty plus years of their lives raising and supporting you, and they likely did not plan on spending that long to do so. They may be at a point in their lives where they need to start planning for retirement, long-term care insurance, doing their own thing as a couple independent of their grown children, traveling, etc....and your continued dependence on them may be holding them back from that.

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  • MissClaire
    8 years ago

    Personally I wouldn't focus on what was said. Move on, try your best to gain employment (any) - rent a room somewhere or heck even join the military (pretty good deal actually - education paid, decent income, benefits etc). The thing is, you are going to have to take some MASSIVE action to get the heck out of there... and based on what you're saying, I would recommend that you start researching abroad opportunities even.

    Silver lining, is you have nothing to lose so your options are totally endless!

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