Is it normal for my partner to not like doing oral sex to me?

Actually, He did it before and we are both new about it. However when he did that for the first time ( also the last time, so he did it just once), I feel weird and like I can't think correctly, so I asked him to stop. But then,. because of my habits reading erotic stories and for me to learn how to BJ him properly, I started to want being eat out again. So I asked him to do it and he can also read articles or storiea about oral sex to improve just like me. However, he doesn't want to do it anymore. Even when I asked to try it just once. I still BJ him so he'll be satisfied though it's hard and I can't do it till he cums since my jaw has a prob. Sometimes it's locking for BJ him. I even ask his preference like do I need to shave, just clean cut or as in all clean ( no hair at all ) still, he didn't eat me out. Sometimes I'm crying secretly or asking him why he wont do it but he just always say, " then BJ me." Then I'll ask if he will do the same after, but he'll just straight say,. "nevermind" or " you just don't want to since you keep on saying any reasons!"

So it's always like this, so I'm thinking maybe, mine smells or he's disgusted. Or maybe I need to make myself fit and sexy so as to make him to it?

Sometimes, I'm also thinking of breaking up with him but whenever I think the reason of break up is due to me wanting oral sex but can't be granted, I feel I'm stupid and my reasoning is too shallow.

By the way,. I also asked him to buy me a sex toy like vibrator since he doesn't want to eat me out, I can just relieve myself on my own but he always says no! Or it's not safe since it has radiation blah blah blah. Haa, that's why I just usey finger, fyi I can't do masturbating by putting finger/s inside me, kinda hurts when I tried it. Just clitoris pleasure lol. Anyway, I'm not satisfied with justy finger but can't but vibrator too. So it's depressing too. 😣

So please advice me. 😭