Is it normal for my partner to ignore my needs.

Thanks for the advises, I think leaving him is the best for me and my kids, I have just discovered that he was also lying about something which he tried to hide and I just found out from his partners in crime. Now his family is tryi
ng to convince me not to live him. They realised that if I do, he will be homeless.

You need therapy, especially dealing with domestic abuse.

CYCLE OF VIOLENCE:
Things to remember: Abuse may be non-physical. Normally however, the cycle keeps repeating. This is why therapy is a must.

Calm
- Abuser acts like the abuse never happened
- Physical abuse may not be taking place
- Promises made during 'making-up' may be met
- Victim may hope that the abuse is over
- Abuser may give gifts to victim

Tension Building
- Abuser starts to get angry
- Abuse may begin
- There is a breakdown of communication
- Victim feels the need to keep the abuser calm
- Tension becomes too much
- Victim feels like they are 'walking on egg shells'

Incident
- Any type of abuse occurs (physical/sexual/emotional)

Making-Up
- Abuser may apologize for abuse
- Abuser may promise it will never happen again
- Abuser may blame the victim for causing the abuse
- Abuser may deny abuse took place or say it was not as bad as the victim claims

(go back to "Calm")

Sounds just like my dad. He felt NO obligation to support his kids, to make sure we had even the most basic needs. He rationalized that somehow he didn't have to contribute to our clothes, food or housing, and that since he was just one person that he didn't have to chip in for groceries because the amount he ate didn't really cost much-he figured it would've been leftovers anyway so that's free in his mind (??). Mind you we all lived together!! He had zero concern for how the bills would get paid, his only concern was himself. He let-or MADE, rather- my mom work while he did virtually nothing yet got everything he wanted. He had both brand new and expensive classic cars that he would just wreck and even total due to being drunk or just being reckless. He was (is) a mean, abusive drunk.

He never changed. I feel for you, you probably should just get out of the relationship. At least leave for a while and maybe after a little while, either have a long talk or write him a letter telling him clearly what needs to change and see if things can progress from there.

Psst...you're divorced.

He sounds like a selfish bastard. He's abused you in the past and from your words, I can tell that it's ground down your confidence. The badmouthing to your children is cowardly and disgraceful, but I don't need to tell you this, do I? You already know it better than I do.

Also, this is years we're talking about. He's had ample time to change his ways. In a supposedly loving relationship, for one's partner to ignore their needs is certainly not acceptable.

"I think I'm going to live him again."
Why the hesitancy when deciding whether or not to leave him?
If you are going to, then make a plan and follow it through: how you're going to do it, what you're going to do afterwards. Otherwise, you're resigning yourself to more misery and the welfare of your children may also be at stake.

Why the fuck are you still with him, dumbass?!

Sounds like he might have NPD. Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I'm seeing alot of these traits on here since only becoming aware of it myself a few days ago and having done an awful lot of research as my husband has recently started showing ALOT of these traits. Check out the traits. I might be totally wrong as it's really only the person they live with that sees it. To the outside world they are the perfect husband/wife farther/mother. We all have traits or narcissism but there are many different types. Please have a read and get back to me on it. I would love to hear your feedback.