Is it normal for my husband to lie about watching porn?

77% Normal
13 Comments

So I've only been married a few months known hubby previously for two years. Were very much in love sex life's great, we both watch porn separately and together he knows I don't care at all but still insists on lying about it. I just can't fathom why! Is it normal? Does anyone else have experience of this? It's so upsetting to feel as though I'm losing trust over something that shouldn't even be a issue :/.

Voting Results
77% Normal
Based on 31 votes (24 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • DuHast
    7 years ago

    Maybe he thinks that you actually do care, even though you say you don't (it wouldn't be the first time a woman meant the opposite of what she said).

    Maybe he just has some guilt associated with it - some old psychological pattern formed in his head where he got in the habit of lying about porn.
    Or maybe he thinks it's not a good sign for a man to be watching porn solo in a relationship. So, even though you don't care, he is ashamed of it because he doesn't think it's something he should be doing.

    Or, he's into some kind of freaky porn that he doesn't want you to know about.

    You should ask him why.

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    • bumblie
      7 years ago

      The porn he watches is practically soft lol. I have attempted to talk to him, he says his ex wife used to freak out about it but I'm not her! Even after that conversation he still lied hence me wondering if its just normal to hide this kinda stuff, or maybe it's a generational thing. I might just be expecting too much not everyone's an over sharer like me!

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      • DuHast
        7 years ago

        haha ok. The thing is - is it normal to hide this kind of stuff? Well...yeah. Absolutely. Find me a guy that has never lied about porn; it can't be done.
        So, I think it's probably just an old habit - an old pattern of behaviour that kind of stuck with him.

        Maybe he just needs to hear again that you're not his ex and that he doesn't need to lie. Because it would be better all round if he wasn't lying about it, wouldn't it?
        But you shouldn't worry too much either, because what he's doing is so common... almost everyone has done it.

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        • bumblie
          7 years ago

          It would ^^, thanks for the response this has been genuinely and surprisingly helpful! :)

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          • DuHast
            7 years ago

            That's ok, no probs :)

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  • Tealights
    7 years ago

    Getting married again is probably stirring up a lot of the past he never fully recovered from with his previous wife. Even though you're not the same woman, he may feel like he's thrown back in the same situation. Instead of focusing on the porn, see how he feels about being married again; but try to be open with the discussion and don't take things personally. You might find yourself helping him through trauma he was unable to heal from by himself.

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    • bumblie
      7 years ago

      I think like a lot of women I tend to focus a tad inwards, from what you and Duhast have said I can see why it could be difficult for him and how it might be habit rather then a complete conscious decision to lie. Thanks for the response, like I said above this process has been surprisingly helpful!

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      • bumblie
        7 years ago

        I sound a bit mean there ^! I mean most women I know which is pretty much me, my sisters and my mom...

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  • VertigoKeyz
    7 years ago

    I personally always hid my porn viewing habit from my (ex) wife because I was certain that she would feel inadequate. I never did find out if she would or wouldn't have. The fact of the matter is that men crave variety. While it is unacceptable to cheat on a partner, it is acceptable to get that variety though adult material, be it magazines, movies, or whatever. But there is always that little bit of guilt that comes with cheating. That is probably the prime reason for lying.

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    • bumblie
      7 years ago

      That doesn't make much sense in our situation. It really doesn't make me feel inadequate which he knows as we quite often watch together. I've told him it doesn't bother me when he watches alone as I do regularly, so in my mind there's not much reason to lie but like Duhast/Tealights said maybe it's previous marriage wounds.

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  • RoseIsabella
    7 years ago

    I hate lying.

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  • MyRodIsLongAndThick
    7 years ago

    Watch the bastard! Its porn today and affairs tomorrow! Porn ruins everything it touches

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    • bumblie
      7 years ago

      Thank you for your response but as I watch porn and have no plans to cheat, I'd like to assume the same of my lovely husband. Fingers crossed my assumption is right! Lol.

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