Is it normal for my husband to ignore me totally

26% Normal
16 Comments

Well... This is not me but it is my good friends husband.

We would like to know if there are any solutions to this long term problem without divorce or maiming ! lol

The couple have been married for nine years. They are both in their 50s. second marriage for her and third marriage for him. ( He did not tell her he was married two times previously until she found out when applying for marriage license.. he told her once and second didnt count as it was only 6 months in duration.) WOW !

So...the long and the short of it is this :

He does not talk, communicate or otherwise show any interest in her at all. EVER ! He sits in his room, reads and has nothing to do with her at all. Different rooms and no physical contact.

Help ! He won't talk unless she starts the conversation. He says he loves her.

HELP !! What can she do ? He refuses to see a therapist ...as they did once before and he said all 5 therapists were wrong.

YIKES !! We need some shock therapy.. what do we do ??

thanks

The friend Beth

Voting Results
26% Normal
Based on 43 votes (11 yes)
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Comments ( 16 )
  • objectwillingmotion
    11 years ago

    On another note(im interested in this one truely) you friend might be hiding something and he knows about it but it too painfull(or scary) to bring up for him. Aften times spouces of killers act this way when they learn their "lovedones" secret.

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    • cincynanny
      11 years ago

      huh? i'm not sure i know what you're saying here.

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  • objectwillingmotion
    11 years ago

    Even if you were dead stupid, or simply ignorant enough not to see that this guy is using her to maintain an image of normalcy while still maintaining his selfishly recluse lifestyle you need look no further than the definition of a "relationship" in the dictionary(in case you happen to be equally antisocial) to know that there apparently is none between your friend and her "husband". She should dump him, chances are it wont be hard since he probably wouldnt care enough to put up a fight anyway.

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    • cincynanny
      11 years ago

      Exactly.

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  • IrishPotato
    11 years ago

    Maybe he's a ghost and he isn't there at all... >:D

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    • cincynanny
      11 years ago

      LOL... thank you for that post! It made my day! I have said many times that he's the "LIVING DEAD". Funny, but not really. I have to keep some humor in this or I'd lose my mind.

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      • IrishPotato
        11 years ago

        Hahaha, I'm glad about that. (:

        And as far as my opinion goes, it doesn't sound like your friend will end up staying happy with him.

        Having that in mind, she should ask herself if she wants to become happy or not? ^^

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    I find it hard to believe he went through the process of another marriage (after 2 failed ones) and he just sits there and never says anything. EVER. I mean I know its possible, men today have this ridiculous notion that you arent complete or there is something inherently wrong with you if you arent married.

    I mean is this something new? Before they were married was a regular chatter box and then shut up after "I do" ?

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  • blondbond69
    11 years ago

    Walking on eg g shells

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  • Avant-Garde
    11 years ago

    It could be allot of things. The fact that he didn't tell her about the other marriages and refuses to see someone is very odd.
    1. He might be cheating on her.
    2. He's depressed.
    3. erectile dysfunction

    Was he always like this? Did he act this way before the marriage or is this a fairly recent thing? You say his parents died? Maybe, he is depressed. I don't find it odd that he didn't want her there. Some people are more private than others. If he won't tell her, than maybe he will tell you? Be friendly with him and don't randomly accuse him of things. I don't think hiring a love investigator is needed unless he is showing actions of sneakiness, if not than there's a risk that it could further undermine the relationship.

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    • cincynanny
      11 years ago

      Dear Avant-Garde

      This is the friend, Beth. You may see a response from the wife as I have given her my username and password so she can keep up with any responses.

      Thank you so much for your comments. You sound knowledgeable and competent in what you say.

      I unfortunately do not know husband at all as w e are new friends... the wife and I....but it does hurt me to see her abandoned like this.

      I think it has always been this way.. it did not start at the illness and death of his parents.

      Sadly, she is an amazing person and being shunned 24/7 makes a person feel unworthy. I am wondering why he is not single ? If you are a loner... stay single, right ??

      I will let the wife has a chance to respond to you. More later !

      Thank you avant-garde!

      Beth

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      • cincynanny
        11 years ago

        Thanks Beth. Yeah, I'm responding to some of these posts and it's nice to hear people's opinions, so thanks everyone.

        Depressed
        Mentally Ill
        Multiple Personalities
        Recluse
        Living Dead
        Enigma

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  • cincynanny
    11 years ago

    Been there, done that. Nothing, and I mean Nothing works.
    He's a rock, he's an island, he's a recluse and is happy in his own world all alone. I don't think it's normal at all, but he says it's just not (my) normal.

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  • ccjigsaw
    11 years ago

    The people who mean the most in our lives are the ones that are always there for us through the good and the bad. I suggest she be patient and wait until he is ready to talk. When she see's him next, she should tell him she knows he's going through alot, and when he's ready to talk she's there for him. Do nice things for him, cook him a nice meal, cuddle him even if he doesn't want to. Bascially let him know he's loved. Rent a funny movie and force him to watch with you! Or take him on a date. It just sounds like he's in a slump, even if he was like that before his parents deaths, maybe he knew something was coming. Be there for the ones you love, a little can go a long way

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    • [Old Memory]
      11 years ago

      The best answer so far on this entire post.

      The sad thing is today many women would outright disagree with it, "I am not waiting for him to talk to me, I am divorcing him" or "I am not putting up with this crap, I am outta here".

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      • ccjigsaw
        11 years ago

        So true! It doesn't help that people constantly comment. "Just dump him, you could do better." What ever happened to talking and working things out? Mr.Perfects not out there waiting for you, cause nobodys perfect.

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