Is it normal for my husband to have sex with me while watching porn?

47% Normal
27 Comments

So I woke up this morning to my husband having sex with me in my sleep and saw that he was on his phone. I let him finish and when he did I turned to him and he quickly shut his phone off... When I checked his phone which btw I don't ever do (no trust issues in our relationship) I saw that he was watching porn while having sex with me! I don't mind him having sex with me in my sleep nor do I mind him watching porn. We both enjoy watching porn together. What bothered me was the thought that he's having sex with me physically but visually he's having sex with someone else! I also don't mind him masturbating while watching porn on his own time! I just kind of see it as cheating in a way to have sex with me while visually having sex with someone else! Should I talk to him about it or just ignore it and let him do as he pleases since I am sleeping?? Am I getting bothered for no reason?

Voting Results
47% Normal
Based on 45 votes (21 yes)
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Comments ( 27 )
  • RoseIsabella
    9 years ago

    WTF? Awe Hell no! Yet another post to remind me of my gratitude for the single life.

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    • The_Creep_is_back
      8 years ago

      Rosie, you seem like you would be really good at sex. I can't imagine that your partner would have to fantasize about anything. Anyway, you wouldn't let him finish; you would MAKE him finish.

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  • MisterPapaya
    9 years ago

    The part that confuses me is when you said you said you don't ever check his phone becuase you don't have any trust issues in your relationship... Yet you checked his phone becuase you didn't trust him. And you're throwing around the word "cheating".

    Also, you say you don't mind him watching porn while masturbating... You are aware he's not thinking about you during that time either, right? So I fail to see the difference between him "cheating" on you visually and him "cheating" on you with his own hand.

    While yes I may agree that it is slightly rude to just whip out your phone and watch porn / update your status / do your taxes / etc while having sex, I wouldn't call it cheating. Those are the words of someone who is insecure and wouldn't even allow porn in their house at all.

    Just tell him he was being rude and not to do it again. Don't play the cheating card. That's the beginning of the end of a lot of relationships.

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    • VinnyB
      9 years ago

      Well I don't think its rude to text and do your taxes while having sex if your partner is asleep at the time. But I would recommend keeping you phone on silent so as not to wake them. That would be rude.

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    • purplemashies
      9 years ago

      Also no there aren't any trust issues, I didn't check his phone for that reason I was simply curious as to whether or not he was watching porn while having sex with me. No insecurities over here either.

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    • purplemashies
      9 years ago

      Its ok to masturbate while watching porn when I'm not available, he still has needs at least he's not fucking other females, and no its not cheating so I guess I was wrong for even throwing that out there! We have very open conversations but I'm here looking for input to plan on what I'll say to him about it. We would never get separated for something like that but I don't want to make it into something bigger than it should be. I just didn't like the fact of him watching porn 'while' having sex with me! And also him trying to hide it bothered me even more.

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      • VinnyB
        9 years ago

        Well if you have the open, adventurous, fantastic sex life that you have eluded to in the comments section, I am sure you have great commination. So why not just try the truth?

        "Hey I know you didn't mean anything by it, but it made me uncomfortable when you were having sex with me, but focusing on the porn. Can you not do that in the future?"

        Of course if you have great communication, you also could have just asked him what he was doing with his phone, rather then steal it and go through his history.

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        • purplemashies
          9 years ago

          I checked it right in front of him its not like I was doing it behind his back! We do have all the things I said in the comments but idk... This is the first time there has ever been any issues between us so I didn't know how to handle it! I'm eventually going to tell him, sooner than later because he's noticing something is wrong! Thanks for your advice!

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  • realsis
    9 years ago

    That's super ruDE on his part no matter what most of the other MEN here think. First off your sleeping, he's not even looking at you. He's using you as a hole while he has fantasies about doing one of the port chicks. That's not loving. You have EVERY RIGHT TO BE ANGRY! YOU shouldn't have to dance around the subject or be afraid to anger him. It's YOU who should be angry! If my husband did that under the same circumstances I would be furious. That shows a HUGE lack of respect for you. I don't care what the "kids" are saying about it on this site., as a ADULT that shows a tremendous amount of disrespect towards you as a person! You are much more than a hole..!! You are a person, and should NOT be USED like that!! Personally I DO consider it a big deal for the simple reason he was using you as a hole while he had thoughts of being with someone else having not one shred of consideration for YOU!! NOT caring if you were even awake!! Sounds like you two need to have a serious conversation. Also you did NOTHING WRONG by looking at his phone to see what he was doing with it while he's supposed to be making "love" to you. !!! Honestly, that's absolutely unacceptable and awfully selfish and self serving on his part!! I would be very very angry and hurt even if I were you. I would say, in your situation, NO that's definitely NOT normal!! It's like he wanted you to stay asleep so he didn't have to "deal" with you as a person while he did his thing! Your needs should haven been considered! THAT'S NOT ACCEPTABLE!

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    • purplemashies
      9 years ago

      Thanks! That's how I see it too! I mean I'm not angry at him for it just kind of disappointed I guess! He's a great man. We have like the perfect relationship! Very sexually active! We're best friends! But I guess something must have gone wrong somewhere along the lines and I didn't notice until now!

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  • BlueReverence
    9 years ago

    Pure objectification and selfishness on his part. It would bother me too. It's one thing to arouse you while you're sleeping to get you in the mood and eventually make you climax. But to use your pussy while he watches porn while you sleep is wrong...

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    • purplemashies
      9 years ago

      I feel that's wrong too. I just don't know exactly what to tell him because I don't want to make a situation into something it's not! Although he's very understanding I wouldn't want him to take it the wrong way. I'd like to know the reason for it.

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      • Ellenna
        9 years ago

        Just try the old standard: When you ......... I felt ..........I'd prefer it if .......... Can we talk about this?

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  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    You make it sound like you just lay there like a limp fish when you two are having sex. So much so that I can't even bring myself to call it making love.
    "I let him finish" Yeah, I see the passion in that statement, wow.
    Perhaps if you got into the sex thing, YOU could turn your husband on, and he wouldn't need the porn to get off when having sex with you.

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    • purplemashies
      9 years ago

      We are very sexually active! Always try new things! New positions, new places, we keep it interesting! We watch porn together and try things from porn scenes! And this morning yes I did lay there like a limp fish because I saw the light from his phone so I wanted to know if he was on the phone or just checked it real quick! So when I noticed that he was on it I didn't really know what to do because it kind of upset me!

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    • VinnyB
      9 years ago

      ^this

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  • abigdick
    9 years ago

    You better get a little more active sexually in the bedroom or any other room you do it in. If you are exciting and adventurous, your husband doesn't need something to get him fired up.

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    • Ellenna
      9 years ago

      Rubbish ... how is it HER fault he's watching porn while having sex with her? She may be the most exciting and adventurous sexual partner in the world for all you know

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    • purplemashies
      9 years ago

      That's what I thought... Thanks

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      • abigdick
        9 years ago

        You sound like a real wonderful person. Do what he likes when he wants it and it can be fun for the two of you. Take care.

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  • green_boogers
    9 years ago

    You have a valid point. But, it may just be easier for you to imagine that your husband is the man in the porn video with the big penis.

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    • purplemashies
      9 years ago

      Lol he already has a good size penis. So when I see the men in porn videos with really big penises I just think of "PAIN"!!!

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      • green_boogers
        9 years ago

        Oh ok. Get a porno with a cute guy then.

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        • purplemashies
          9 years ago

          Yeah... I should do that! And fuck my husband while watching it lol see how he likes it! Lmao

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          • green_boogers
            9 years ago

            You should try a double penetration, as well. Double the dick, double the fun.

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