Is it normal for my girlfriend to spend so much time with her friends?

42% Normal
10 Comments

I've been officially dating my girlfriend for about 2 and a half years now, I love her to death and I couldn't be more happy. But with every great fairy tale, I guess there's always some sort of bump in the road. Basically since the beginning of to college my girlfriend has joined a sorority(were still freshman). This sorority is by no means a crazy weird type sorority, it's actually pretty chill. Regardless, It sort of takes up a lot of her time, it seems like she always has something better to do then hang out with me or hit me up on t he phone just to talk or go out to eat or something that couples just do. I feel as though I give her to much attention, and I feel as though I am to good a boyfriend to her, and there is not much reciprocation. I mean she loves me, she does everything for me, it's just weird because we go to the same college and I don't see her as much as I think I should. For example Thursday she goes to the same club with her friends, Friday she hangs with her friends again usually and sometimes Saturdays(and she see's nothing wrong with this). She also has lunch with them all the time, has sorority meetings and mixers. I play football so I'm sort of busy myself, but I really do make and effort to make time for her, and she truly doesn't for me. I really think it is affecting our relationship for me at least she knows how I feel yet I don't think she sees anything wrong with us not hanging out that much. She cares a lot about her friends and her social life is very important to her, I realize this but she doesn't balance me and her friends very well at all. She said she was going to change, but I really haven't seen any improvement thus far, usually it's just initially then it fades with time and she goes back to her old self. I don't really want to break up with her, I don't think I could live without the woman. But should I give her a taste of her own medicine? Should I just act like I don't care at all, ignore her and make her feel how I feel?....or should I keep trying to make efforts to be around her more…I'd appreciate positive feedback, I only want advice, so any negative stuff just save it, cuhz I'll delete it anyways,thanks.

Voting Results
42% Normal
Based on 159 votes (66 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 10 )
  • simplyme1343
    13 years ago

    She's obviously not that into you. A good relationship requires work which takes time and if she isn't willing to give you her time then the relationship can't possibly be that strong

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    4
    4
      -
    • iPhone3G-4SParts
      12 years ago

      I honestly disagree. I have the same issue with my girlfriend, and like this story, she sees no reason why it can be frustrating for me. I get about 1-2 days (3-5 hours per "day") in about every 14 days. We go to the same school, and everything even same classes but she sits with her friends, eats with her friends, and reserves 2 minutes at the end of the day before my bus comes for me to join her and her friends. From hearing that, you would think she hates me! But that is not the case aparently. When we hangout the few hours every two weeks, it is like everything is perfect!;) But when she is with her friends, I miss her so much it's hard to remember the times when we used to hangout every day and how good it is when we do see eachother.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • cookiesaregreat
        11 years ago

        Im sorry to hear that dude.. It indeed sounds like she's not very in to you, but if it works for you then by all means continue.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
  • sugar1121
    13 years ago

    Honestly... I've done this too... actually I'm doing it right now.

    See... i have been with my bf for 4 years. i love him SO much and just want the best for our relationship. But... he's a guy... and guys... tend to not want to hang out all of the time like girls do. Cause if it were up to me... we would be together 7 days a week.

    Well basically, I got tired of him not wanting to hang out with me and just got my own life with my friends. And I'm having so much fun... and our relationship couldn't be better cause we appreciate the time we DO spend together.

    Anyways... she's probably just taking care of herself and not putting her all of her happiness in one place cause technically nowadays... friendships tend to last a lot longer than relationships... unless they're "the one"

    I think you should talk to her and just come from a loving place. Tell her that you love her and want to spend more time with her ;) Trust me I don't care who she is... she'll LOVE this :) Good luck!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    3
    3
      -
    • iPhone3G-4SParts
      12 years ago

      Yeah same, but I am a guy. The difference between me and your story is that I made every day available, and every minute available to text or whatever just in case she could make plans for me. But then still no change so I started making plans with my friends, and now that I actually have a few plans, they just happen to be on the day "by chance" that she asks to see me because the plans with her friends didn't work out. And then I am busy.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    My take is that you could be being a bit too possessive & clingy. Schedule some dates with her that will be your time only during the week.But respect that this is a new and special time for her to experience college as she wants and to make friends, some of whom will be a lifetime.

    They are bonding & creating relationships - all new. Come across as a jealous & vengeful (taste of her own medicine?) git and she will have reason to wonder about her long term prospects with you. You think life is busy now? Wait until you both work.

    You have to work together to make room for each other & to respect that sometimes the other person needs to b involved a lot elsewhere.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • FunkyFatMan
    14 years ago

    Yup, girls are stupid. But they're delicate sweet creatures that we all like to cherish between our arms amirite? Woah, what if she's bisexual? Spending so much time on her chick friends, nice. Hey sorry dude, brainfart here and there. ^^;

    Anywho... if I were you, I'd be patient, and allow my own time to flow. Doing work, training for football, and meeting up with the woman sometimes. I wouldn't priorize love in a place where you're meant to learn and progress. I hope you and your woman have future. :3 Goodluck.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • Runner27
    14 years ago

    hey u seem like a nice guy ...U said that u love her so... If she don t see that in you..Then why bother..My opinion is u have to give her another chance and.. So if she don t react and give u what u want and need of her,and u feel her that she is out of what u were(close)then just tell her what u feel (everything)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • bingo248
    14 years ago

    ya my friend,, there are girls called self centered,, they want gifts, they want, your time whenever they want,, they want even sex when THEY want,,,, but if you want and really want to be with her ,, then bare with her style and be a dog around her,, and if you are not fine with her ,,,, just leave her offff, whe is not going to improve on her selfishness or selfcenterdness,,, in next 100 yrs,,

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • Alaxett
    14 years ago

    Hmm... I don't know what's it is like to be in university, go to too much meetings and stuffs like that, but I can tell you about other couple that is much different than your. My sister is in a university for three years now with her boyfriend, and she don't go to sorority 'cause she think it's stupid 'cause it's too feministic to her taste. Her role is to help her boyfriend, who have trouble with high school and his father, to getting much better and pass many test that he think is too hard for him. I would say that he is lucky to have my sister, she is intelligent and she would put her relationship above everything else for the benefit of both of them.

    So... two of you are together in university for just less than one year? Don't sound too good to me... all I can say is nothing hurt like love. She better step it up if she do care about you, or she'll lose it to her new lifestyle. Her call, your call, and if it's not on the same page, I believe you know what to do.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1