Is it normal for my gf to do this???

49% Normal
15 Comments

I'm 23 my lady is 22. we have been together for 7 months now. She is amazing, but in this last month things have turned to complete shit. A quick back story on her; first relationship, first person she lived with besides parents. Anyway, it really all started with me losing my job. I'll admit my temper got the complete best of me!!! After I lose it me and her have this huge argument, and she packs all of her shit and goes back home. Been 2.5 weeks since she left. Two days before my fucking birthday? Anyway we have been together this whole time never split up. The day after my bday I was playing some games on her phone. She gets a message I'm not a snoop I trust her I just looked at it because I had the phone. And I see this asshole she goes to college with texting her things like, "when can I tap that?" I was so pissed I woke her out of bed, and confronted her immediately. I read through her replies to him. No foul play, but the kicker is when I told her to text this dude and tell him to stop, she got really pissed! She ended up doing it,but didn't show me the proof so I got in her phone and got his # and text him myself. I made sure he knew. With all the bad shit happening between us I jus don't feel comfortable. Am I being noid? I would really like some experience on this one because I love her and I'm not losing her
-thanks!

Voting Results
49% Normal
Based on 47 votes (23 yes)
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Comments ( 15 )
  • Twamp
    12 years ago

    To DANOOYL. Show some respect. Im almost positive every girl who every gave you the time of day traded you in pry because of the shmeckle of a penis you have or your negative attitude. Try datin a dwarf or something they make you feel better about. I hope your "slut gf" comment was worth it burn in hell with your pessimism. And next put some thought into some real insight instead of disrespecting women. You wouldn't. Call your mom a slut now would ya?

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  • PumpkinKate
    12 years ago

    You're invading a lot of her privacy and breaking apart the bonds of trust between you two.

    Whether or not she has done anything (and whether or not your actions are 'justified') I think you'll find it very difficult to continue a strong relationship where there is no trust. It can be painful and difficult to wonder, and to not know... but the best you can do about that is to simply be the best boyfriend you possibly can, and the best boyfriends don't invade the privacy and betray the trust of the girlfriends.

    She is likely angry at not being trusted, because it really hurts to find out your significant other doesn't trust you! Be a strong man, and SHOW her that you're worth it. The more you keep doing things like this the more you're going to push her away.

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    • chatter289
      12 years ago

      I do not agree with you in the slightest there, expect for the trusting part. He stumbled on something which he was not wanting to find and obviously, karma does come around and it revealed that his chick obviously likes to have 'fun' with other men (not to mention that she did not even own up to what she did and refused to delete this guy of her phone)f. and you're saying that he should be the one trying and being the best he could possible be? What the fuck is wrong with you? This person, I'm sorry to say, could be a potential cheater, cheating starts in thoughts and thoughs proceed to actions and well, we all know what happens after.

      Secondly, considering that it's her who broke the trust, it should be her having to work hard to gain his trust not the other way around. You sound like a good guy, you really do. You owe her fuck all and you don't need to do fuck all, you have not given ur gf a reason not to trust you, and obviously now she has given you, and the fact that she didn't wantto delete him makes it even worst. It that was me, and I'm a girl, I would have left her right there and then, you are no damn fool.

      I say talk to her to own up to her skeletons in her closet and if she wants to be with you she has to know work hard to earn your trust.

      Don't be silly please, she did the mistake not you, be smart because if you let this go, how he'll do you know she is still not doing this behind your back? What she did is beyond disrespectful, how each partner behaves reflects the relationship and how much you respect each other, obviously she has shown how much she values the relationship,

      Sorry to be the party pooper but your chick may be up to something, don't be naive. Good luck

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      • PumpkinKate
        12 years ago

        "Stumbled across" by going through her personal text messages, and continuing to hunt down more information after the initial "accidental" finding?

        I personally would be really pissed. Especially if I was innocent. That would hurt me immensely, to have someone who is supposed to love and trust me violating my personal stuff like that. Of course, this is all from the standpoint of someone who is usually blatantly honest. It's entirely possible she IS up to "foul play" and I never said it wasn't. Regardless, whether or not the OP or the above commenter agrees, I'm willing to bet the girl in question views the act as a breach of trust. It's the most natural response.

        I tend to give most people the benefit of the doubt. Especially loved ones. If I invaded my partner's privacy, got jealous, and demanded she do something and found out I was WRONG? I'd feel like complete shit. I'd also have damaged the relationship greatly.

        She may very well be doing fucked up, shitty things to you. It's also possible she isn't. I would like to be standing tall at the end when all the dust is cleared and be able to say "I did the right thing, and was the better (wo)man." Not because I want to prove anything to my partner, or lord it over them in any sort of "high and mighty" sense, but because I want to prove to myself that I stand by my moral standards.

        Only the OP has the information needed to make whatever judgment call is necessary. The only reason for my posting is to offer a viewpoint, take it or leave it, in the hopes that it was of some help in navigating this difficult situation.

        That opinion is: show her what a trusting, loving partner does. If she fucks you over, you still have that to stand by, and stand tall. You don't need to resort to the same things she MAY have resorted to. The above poster is correct - if she wants it to work, she needs to show you that she can work hard and earn your trust. Show her that you deliver nothing less than that yourself.

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        • chatter289
          12 years ago

          I do agree with the privacy issue, but whenever a partner is in doubt and needs reassuring than I'm sorry but I would not care about my privacy at all just to make sure my loved one is secure and happy.

          I am completely open with my bf,he knows my passwordp to everything and I know his.why would I keep privacy unless I'm wanting to hide something?I'm sorry but that's how p see it,when you decide to be in a relationship I honestly do not see the need for 'privacy' unless something is being hidden. If you truly love that person than why keep secrets?

          As previously stated by you earlier,no trust means no good relationship, does but privacy not entail you keeping 'secrets' and things to yourself? I personally believe that having privacy is means of lacking communication and trust to tell the other person everything

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          • PumpkinKate
            12 years ago

            I understand and respect the opinion that total honesty is important in a relationship. I'll even agree to it if it's important to my partner.

            Personally, I feel that some level of privacy and a few secrets are okay in a relationship. I think that we develop our own personalities through a combination of things we're open about and share, and things we prefer to keep to ourselves. There are some things we simply don't want to be blatantly honest about - like an embarrassing health concern, body issues, fleeting thoughts and notions... because we feel that revealing these "secrets" might make things awkward for our partner.

            About key issues that strongly affect the relationship, I would agree open honesty is vital. When it comes to smaller issues... well, sometimes it's alright to have a few secrets. A little bit of mystery can create a healthy level of intrigue, as well. Perhaps it's not necessary to know that my partner has a bowel condition that gives him/her diarrhea frequently :P Perhaps it's fun and exciting to not KNOW if my partner is thinking about a certain sex act that would excite and thrill me, but to guess at it, and play the game of little hints and subtlety, building up a pleasant tension about it.

            In the end, I suppose the saying "To each their own" is best, however.

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  • tykeyman
    12 years ago

    You wanna hope she hasn't be sucking him off and kissing u ?

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  • ccjigsaw
    12 years ago

    I'm not saying for sure, but I think it's a possibility. If it were me in this situation, and I wasnt cheating and you told me to delete the guy, I wouldn't do it. Just because you asked me to. Aka we've been fighting and "you can't tell me what to do" sort of thing. I hope she's not cheating, just consider that that may have been the case. Also: the guy may have texted her that, but if theres no foul play it could be that he's interested in her, but she's not into him. I don't know the full situation, but I hope she's faithful

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  • danooyl
    12 years ago

    Slut gf

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  • joybird
    12 years ago

    Not really sure what the problem here is but I do know one thing...

    Get a job and regain her respect and your own self-respect and confidence. Women don't like to 'keep' men (scroungers).

    Good luck.

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  • Twamp
    12 years ago

    Reply to it and it was not lusty. She called him a creep things like that. My biggest problem is she didn't tell him to fuck off because I've got a bf. like I said in my story, I texted him, and told him either he could stop or I would make him because to me with him knowing about her being exclusive it was a sneaky piece of shit thing to do. It was clear what his intentions were and he apologized. Said he was joking, but we all know he was being a sneaky rat. I can't jus throw all my inhibitions at her it'll push her away. No offense, but if that is how you would deal with it then you will be alone forever. You have to at least let someone fuck shit up before they can be confronted. There isn't even a sign of her conspiring to have sex with anyone else. Especially since we are intimate 4-7 times a week. She's got no time. These aren't excuses or justifications. These are facts, and until the facts are in front of me, I'm not gonna let it rule our relationship cuz that's why the need for outside companionship becomes unbearable you just want to fuck somebody then.

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  • Twamp
    12 years ago

    Well chatter289 I would agree with you!
    However, I know she's not cheating and is no longer speaking to him, and has made an honest effort to prove she is dedicated to me. There is no sense in destroying my self-confidence on a whim. The fact is that no girl wants to see a whiner for a man. If shes gonna cheat she's gonna cheat. At that point it would be apparent I was wrong about finding the "one". it's a little premature to takes some text messages that a playa sent her and run with these dillusions that it's going to start a cheating trend. She did re

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  • Twamp
    12 years ago

    Well like I said in my story I needed some reassuring opinions. This was a last resort I'm just very certain about me and her. I'm not lookin to sit here and dogg the situation. Hahaha. That's a little ridiculous

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  • cmc
    12 years ago

    Nice one Kate. It's good to see some positive energy on here.

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  • Twamp
    12 years ago

    Pumpkin Kate I really appreciate your honesty and honestly? You couldn't be more right! I'm going to reflect on your insight, and with my own touch turn this around!

    Thanks a million

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