Is it normal for my friend to never want to hang out with anyone?

48% Normal
8 Comments

I have a friend and she never wants to hang out. Not just with me but our other friends too. She's alway like "let's hang out this weekend!" but she never does. Or she'll stand us up. Like me and another friend asked her to hang out with us last weekend and she said that she would meet us at a movie at 7 so we went and we waited and it was 7 and we called her and she said "she forgot and she couldn't make it" we don't know why she does this but she does it ALLLLL THE TIME! It makes all our friends so mad. She always makes up an excuse and we can't figure it out. Any ideas?

Voting Results
48% Normal
Based on 86 votes (41 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • fletcher94
    13 years ago

    It sounds like she gets nervous at the last minute. Try surprising her at home and hang out there.

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  • superva
    13 years ago

    I think first, you and your other friends should be honest and tell her the issue you guys have with her.
    Second you should stop inviting her to hang out, and if she self-invites or proposes a plan herself, you guys tell her you know she will not make it so she should not waste her energy and yours. But be tough about this.
    Then, she will know how she looks in your minds and she will want to change that and prove you wrong.
    What you can also do, in case she finally convinces you to join the plan, is tell her a fake hour. Like 6 for example, although the rest of you are meeting at 7. At 6 you call her and say "are you there yet?" If she is not coming, you tell her the truth: "Well, we told you a fake time since we knew you would not make it anyway, so if you want to come we are actually meeting at 7." And if she actually makes it, you act all surprised and tell her the truth, you actually told her a different time so she can see how you guys always have to wait for her. I hope this helps!!

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  • ryanthony
    13 years ago

    Lots of times people are too shy to go out, people can become introverted and often depressed. If this is the case, you should force some closeness and make sure everything is alright.

    But lots of times they're off doing something else. I have this friend who I've diagnosed schizophrenic because she is such a social butterfly and can act really sweet, but she carries no real emotion with her anywhere. She does the same thing to me that your friend does. She makes plans with everyone and picks the very best. This is very unpleasant because she's been my "best friend" for five years running.

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    • ryanthony
      13 years ago

      ***not schizophrenic, sorry borderline personality disorder - a kind of behavior common among sociopaths.

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  • candy8
    13 years ago

    I am dealing with something similar to that but my BFF is starting to hang out with someone else and it is Fucking annoying

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Sounds like a flake. I've had friends like that. I don't talk to them anymore. No reason to waste your time with someone like that.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    One idea would be to be a friend. She wants to be connected. But can't make that happen. Could be family responsibilities/issues. Could be something else. Talk to her nicely about it. Say how you were really looking forward to her company. Be a friend

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  • tubbie89
    13 years ago

    She probably has a secret boyfriend you don't know about

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