Is it normal: for my family to hate me?

I hate family politics; all the fake diplomacy and sleight of hand wears on me. So I don't do it and neither should you. Don't take the phone calls, don't respond to the e-mails, cut yourself off from all the bull.

It's normal to feud with family. The idea that somehow sharing the same blood type makes us immune to hating each other is silly.

My fiance's dad has a similar dynamic with his fam. He is the only one who is sober and has his life together. It's like being the 'black sheep' but reversed in meaning. They are prob not really happy with their lives which makes it easy to pick on you who has a life that seems unatainable to them. Don't worry yourself so much with it. I'm just saying, you might never be treated the way you would like, or have the relationships with them you are hoping for, so why subject yourself to the negativity.

Before you move 1,000 miles away, get them all together in one room and tell them how you feel to their faces.

Honestly Virginia, they are all 'inverted snobs' trying to look down at you as Miss Prim and Proper, but they are actually jealous. Do not fall for the emotional blackmail. Your mom has allowed them to treat you this way all her life, now she needs your help!
My friend is in exactly the same position and her mum rang her tonight crying. So, I'll tell you what I told her,
"Get your priorities right and see to your children. She has lived her life, the way she wanted and she has plently of others she can turn to. Ones she probably secretly favours. You will get no thanks for sacrificing your life / time for her."

Forget about your family, they are in the past and are of no use to you. They would not provide a positive role model for your children, in fact, I'd say they would actively encourage your kids to fail or go to stay with them, etc. Block their calls and e-mails and allow your self some peace. It's wonderful, I know coz I've done it! I Got tired doing favors for all of them when none of them would do one single thing for me!

Read The Nice Factor book and you will learn how you have been manipulated all your life and you will learn to let it go.

you say you are excluded from family gatherings, why dont you exclude yourself a little further and give them a break. they probly feel like failures around you, keep on doing your own thing and try not to ponder why, it will only send you crazy

It's not normal and I'm sorry that you've had to deal with this. I think the best thing would be to cut them out of your life and move to another country. From what I've read: I don't think you voicing your feelings would matter to them or change the way they treat you. Move on with your life and leave them to wallow in their misery. Good Luck!

i hope to have a family like you someday and meet a the girl off my dreams you have a lovely family one day i hope to be like you ravi 15

Thanks for the comments everyone.

Masked~ I wish it were that easy =( We tried to have a "family" meeting of sorts during one of my mother's illness's and it didnt go to well. Its hard to talk rationally with people that stay intoxicated or high nearly 24/7, I kinda listened while my older sister was doing most of the talking. But still got cussed out just for being there...I wasnt part of the "family", I had no right to be there. According to them. Even though my older sister and I had been the one caring for Mom since she got sick. They never even tried. I have occasionally visited over the years since I left home. Until my mom got sick last year, then I had to be there daily, she needed alot of care and a nursing home wasnt an option. I took an exteneded leave from work and drove 2hrs each way to take care of her during the day until my older sister got off work to take over for the evening so I could go back home for the night. I was just there caring for her when my brother started beating me up last summer, she is the one that called the police.

Valkeer~ Thats this thing that is really strange to me, it isnt a "feud" , at least on my end. Its alot more to the story, but the whole reason I left home at 15 after I graduated early was to be away from them. It was unbearable living around them one second longer. I dont "argue" with them, its pointless.

Devilla~ I have, since my mother has recovered some. They all live off my mother except for my sisters. So it made it hard to stay away when Mom needed so much care. Its been over 2 months now since I have been able to see my mother because of them. I talk to her on the phone daily, but its not the same. She understands why I have always choose stay away. But still kinda makes me feel guilty for not being there for her more.

Meant to say I can be a jerk.

I don't like you much either. But then again be a jerk.