Is it normal for my boyfriend to start acting different and distant?

He used to be really affectionate and sometimes even borderline possessive. I had briefly tried drinking before our relationship and had made some mistakes (drunkenly made out some guys my first month of college). And when we got together this was a very difficult idea for him to accept, even though it was in my past. He used to cry when I didn't answer him right away, want to talk to me all the time, and look at me and treat me like I was the most valuable thing on earth. He was fervently against any type of drinking. I began changing too, I stopped hanging out with my friends, began to think like him and became completely devoted and in love with him. However, over a year and half later he is starting to become distant. He has gone out with the boys and gotten drunk, sometimes goes days with out calling, is not jealous, and doesn't say romantic things anymore. I talked to him about it and expressed how it was making me feel. ( I've been a wreck lately). And he said he is confused and he still loves me the same, but doesn't know why he's acting like that or what changed. He is completely calm and even cracks jokes when I am crying to him talking about this. I dont know what to do... Is this normal behavior or should I be concerned? I might have been okay with this had this been a year ago, but the drastic change has left me concerned.

Voting Results
24% Normal
Based on 34 votes (8 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • BettyBoobs

    Your relationship sounded quite unhealthy anyway :/
    Good luck and be brave ! :)

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  • So update: he was lying to me and seeing his ex when he told me he was doing other things. Don't know how this factors into the whole personality change, but I broke up with him. Then he called and called, and I told him I did not want to talk to him. Today we talked and it seems like he is genuinely sorry and that he loves me, I do not want to throw away something before giving it my all. I am more mature now and stronger and will try to foster new relationships with friends. Hopefully this time will work, but my world won't be broken if it doesn't because I will know it was not meant to be. We are both giving efforts now. Thank you for all the comments, the rough and the soothing... They all helped.

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    • dalmationUntoyourSoul

      good girl. stay strong.

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  • warren4aj

    He is cheating on you. Or he may have a personality disorder. But most likely the first.

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  • dalmationUntoyourSoul

    sounds like he had an idealistic view of life, and that now he is finally in the process of growing up and doing things most people would have experienced in high school. it almost seems like you guys switched roles. you probably shouldn't have changed for him and ditched all your friends, when your entire reality is based on one person's perspective to the point that you change for them, i don't think that's healthy. i'm not trying to hurt your feelings.

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    • dalmationUntoyourSoul

      if the original poster doesn't believe me, she should look at mitchy's profile. he's giving his number to all the ladies on here. in every comment he does it. creep.

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  • Mitchy

    Dont listen to tommy the cat he sounds like a jerk to say what he did. im a 23 year old white male and i graduated two years ago. i jus moved to a new city to work at the local hospital. im a registered nurse. but you sound like you need someone to talk to for support. im lonely cause i dont know anyone here and need some new friends. i dont get the chance to meet new people here cause i world 12 hour days and i new at the job. but if you need someone to talk to call or text me 6012278336 i promise im a nice guy and not an internet creep. i would love to help you out tho. i know its a long shot but please give me a chance i love helping people thats why i work in a hospital. but if you dont call or text me i hope the best for you and god bless :)

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    • dalmationUntoyourSoul

      why mention your race? i think you post seems kind of selfish. you just want someone to talk to. how is calling another guy going to improve her relationship with her boyfriend? if anything it would probably make him become more distant. you seem co-dependent and narcissistic, thinking you can help this person, and to put on like it is selfless makes it more sleazy. the nerve you have. you aren't sly. and who gives out their number on is it normal? i'm going to write your number in bathroom stalls tomorrow.

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      • NeuroNeptunian

        This made me lol. I'm tempted to do the same.
        On a serious note, what a dumbass.

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  • flutterhigh

    Every year of college was very different for me. People at that age tend to forget that they're still developing emotionally and neurologically, which makes for a turbulent and confusing time. It's foolish to be sure of anything.

    This is only personal speculation, but it would appear that he's become interested in trying out new things, and it's possible that you are reminiscent of a phase of his life from which he's growing increasingly detached. Pulling him back will only lead to resentment, and changing yourself for him will be uncomfortable. Compromise is always best.

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  • He hates you, because you sound like a poo.

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