Is it normal for my boyfriend to be this paranoid?

I started a new job, so I've been exhausted. I didn't feel so affectionate and just wanted to sleep. I didn't sleep with him for 2 days so he decided that I'm obviously sleeping with someone else because everyone needs to fuck every single night, right? He decides that I don't love him anymore and that he isn't good enough. He hates if I have male friends or lesbian friends. He hates if I talk to others about my relationship problems and he acts all pissy and that I'm not suffering from any of this. His paranoia is making me less attracted to him so that adds on to the not sleeping together thing and I feel so trapped and scared that I'll say or do the wrong thing. Is his level of paranoia normal and I'm just handling it well?

Voting Results
16% Normal
Based on 85 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 17 )
  • Lizbit

    Get out now!!!!

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  • His level of paranoia is not normal, and his insecurities are eventually going to do him in and most certainly your relationship with him as well.

    Having sex that much is also a little ridiculous, I would probably be in the minority on this one as it seems like more and more of the younger generations engage in both large amounts of unprotected sex, multiple partners, and at younger and younger ages, but SEX is not something to be done every day, or even every 2-3 days. I can understand sex as something a healthy functioning body does need, but to equate it with something like the body needs daily, (food, water, etc) is misguided.

    At best it shows low morals and self control, at worst its outright dangerous with the increased risk of STDs.

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  • You need to get rid of him. That's being controlling bigtime. Only two days? Rediculous. Kick him in the balls and tell him to grow up.

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  • drtywiteboy

    wanting sex every night isn't a huge deal, but we all know that it can't happen EVERY night. But his attitude, is not, it actually sounds borderline dangerous. I'd drop his punkass.

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  • ladybeagle

    he's probably been more distant when he's cheated in the past, so he sees your actions, and they worry him. not cool. takes one to know one... or think you know one. or he's waaaay to insecure.

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  • lavabava

    He probably just has a lot of emotional baggage that he hasn't dealt with. If you know about any of his previous relationships that should let you know. That or neither of you established a strong deal of trust early on in your relationship which is irreversible after you've had sex.

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  • really?

    Bin. Him.

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  • MISS

    Give him the benefit of the doubt and talk to him first. Make him aware of how he is acting and tell him how it makes u feel. Tell him u don't feel there is any trust between u when he acts this way - tell him to mild down his attitude extremely - otherwise ur leaving. If it hasn't changed, and stays changed, then yea leave. My partner was the same for six months, after one night when I lost it and actually threw a pool cue at him and told him to stick it somewhere painful - he realized how upset I was. He said it was because of who I work with and my job. He felt insecure because he wasn't as big as those guys and felt small compared to them. He felt that if they wanted to steal me from him - they easily could. I had to remind him that it was me who chased him at the beginning and told him all the reasons I loved him. He joined a gym and started working out too - so not only is he buff now but has little frustration because instead of voice-ing his silly thoughts (that he regrets later) he puts his mind on his gym work out. M xx (Sorry it's so detailed!)

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  • gowila

    I'd leave him.

    I was a realy jealous controll type when I was younger. It took me two years of being single to grow up. The only way I grew up was through being far far away and being single

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  • Lopez.v82

    Sounds like this will only get worse..know when to quit..don't let it continue and let the years pass by unhappily..you'll be doing yourself a favor to break it off now..hope your strong and smart enough to..best wishies!

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  • Gidget

    He has problems have a talk with him he may need counseling it is obviously his issue not urs but if u love him u will work with him on it that doesnt mean let him controll u also he has to be willing to change his ways it will be hard if u two do decide to work it out but u need to decide if he is worth it to u or not good luck

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  • theRealDeal

    Hop, skip and run from his butt! He will most likely end up hurting you badly. But be smart in your exit-really!

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  • dustmite

    Thanks for all the advice, guys. I'm already looking for a place to stay since I live with him now.

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  • mtnw

    seriously consider leaving. it will get worse no matter what you say or do.

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  • FuckEveryone

    Run like hell. I went through same and didn't smarten up early. He became super controlling and abusive and made my life a living hell. If you put up with it now, he'll just go full-throtle later. Please don't make the same mistake I did. The asshole I speak of sucked the youth right out of me. You deserve better.

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  • yayasaga

    Leave him

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  • U either need to have a serious convo with him or end it

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