Is it normal for my boyfriend to be this oblivious?

My boyfriend of almost 2 years seems to not care about anything around him. He's very forgetful as in forgetting anniversaries and my birthday (which is super easy since it's ON a holiday!) and things like that.

We were meeting at the movie theater by his house and he asked if he should come to my house first but I texted back saying "no I'm taking a shower then heading to the movies since it starts in 30 minutes." I text again in 25 minutes saying "I'm pulling in, where are you?" He calls saying he's heading out and calls again 20 minutes later saying he's at my house...HOW?!

I say I'm going to the doctors for a pretty big procedure in which he will forget to ask about for days, weeks or forever.

Lately all I want to do is point out certain things and hope they'll change or get fixed. (Which I don't think is something normal to feel?)

He often doesn't care about updating me on things. Example: He says "let's meet up and make waffles at my house," I rush home to bring waffle maker and call him only to find out he already ate -__-

He doesn't seem as clean as I would like to be but I admit I have OCD so I need to wash my hands before I touch anything with food or not mix raw meats with anything or leave dishes for days. But there's things like those that tend to happen sometimes.

He recently moved into a new place for the week and it's filled with roaches which I HATE but when I act like a little girl when I see them, he doesn't really care to kill them for me (or pay me too much attention) which is typically what everyone else does for me.

He makes promises of quitting smoking and going back to college and certain things only to just subtly go back on them.

I love my boyfriend and I wouldn't want to trade him for anyone but I'm starting to hang out with him a lot lately and I'm beginning to realize we are very different in the way we handle things or do things. Are these things normal for a guy and I'm just overthinking my OCD or should I be concerned?

I see my parents happy and there are certain things (such as responsibility for paying bills, being on top of things and fixing little things around the house) I appreciate in my dad that I don't see my boyfriend having and it scares me. Is this normal or should I be worried? Can responsibility and un-oblivion be taught and come with time even in his 20's? Or is it not fair to my boyfriend that I be in a relationship hoping to change him?

Sorry it's so long! Comments & advice are greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading :)

You're being a high-maintenance little princess - he's fine, you arent 1
RUN girl, run! - this ain't normal 27
This is totally normal - all guys are pretty much like this 0
These things come with time - be patient with him 4
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Comments ( 16 )
  • chained_rage

    This was beautifully written. The first ever long post on IIN I read to the end.

    Your boyfriend is not a good match for you. He sounds like a lazy, passive aggressive slob.

    You two are just not a good match. Even though you wouldn't be able to appreciate it now, do yourself the favour of ending things with him. You are working on a future and he will only hold you back.

    Also, it's really sucky of you to expect people to kill other forms of life for you.

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    • Indy farts on you :D

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  • Ellenna

    What is he smoking?

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  • NeofelisNebulosa

    You two are probably not a good match.

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  • ReginaFalange

    You could talk to him, but I'd bet he is just a waste of time for you.
    You'll find someone better, tons of them.
    I've been there, you tend to think that you love him and you just CAN'T imagine being with someone else. You could even brake up with him and miss him and be really sad for a couple of weeks, maybe a month... but that doesn't mean that you should get back together, is just the process of forgetting someone.

    It will be hard, but it seems to be the best choice for you.

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  • horny_simpletons

    Either he has a very short term memory or he's not that into you. Either break up with him or talk to him about it and see how that goes...whichever you think is best.

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  • neonclam

    My eyes just rolled to the back of my head and out of my anal sack.

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  • fullhouse

    I've always wondered how do guys like that get girls like YOU while I'm single! He's obviously not into you. You can wait for him to come around or move on in your life. You seem to be a smart woman, act like one SMH

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    • shyshyshy

      Lol I'm probably just gonna follow you and stay single for a looong time haha. I'm not concerned on if he's into me or not. We've been at a point when I accused him of no longer loving me, I know what that feels like but this isn't it. I mean he tries, he randomly surprises me with little gifts and tries to take me out a few times a week. He's a good boyfriend but I'm his first girlfriend and I feel like they're a lot of relationship ethics that he hasn't caught up on just yet.

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      • fullhouse

        It's better to be single than to wait for a ship in a desert. Some guys need to left alone for a while to realise what they have! If he 'tries' to spend time with you instead of actually wanting to then what does that tell you?
        p.s - I'm HAPPILY single Cuz I don't want to b with someone like THAT

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  • thegypsysailor

    How is it you can not see that this loser is not the right guy for you?

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  • ReginaFalange

    <a href="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/15/04/20/150420b3e321717d0db5e2f8e3d9a121.jpg" rel="nofollow">https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/15/04...</a>
    I read this and thought of the girl who posted this question.
    Imagine when you meet the right one :)
    (the situation is different but the bottom line is the same)

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  • Arm0se

    Leave him

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  • victorygin

    You should talk to him about it. People do change, and some just take longer than others to grow up.

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    • shyshyshy

      Is there a way for me to talk without hurting his feelings? I'm usually a little extra cautious of not hurting others's feelings that I end up not speaking my mind often and it results in problems like these. How do I approach it in a manner that gets my point across without making him feel incompetent?

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      • victorygin

        I think it wouldd be fair to make it a serious talk. Like a "we need to talk" kind of talk; a "sit down" - you know? And just tell him how you feel, calmly and without making it seem as though you're just blaming him, or nagging him.
        Maybe focus more on what you would like him to do, rather than the things he's failed to do. Keep it positive. And let him know how his actions affect you. And that you deserve certain things, like you're not going to just put up with this forever. And pay attention to what he says as well.

        It might not be an easy talk. And I don't know if his feelings will be hurt or not - but yours obviously are and have been already. So, it's fair to at least assert your own needs, even if it makes him temporarily uncomfortable to hear about it.

        I know that's probably not much help, but I just think he deserves a chance to change. Rather than you losing interest suddenly without ever having communicated to him what the problem/s were.

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