Is it normal for my boyfriend to be this insecure?

27% Normal
15 Comments

Im 20 and my bf is 19 we live together. We both work and we both are pretty good looking people. On the weekends he goes out with his friends and stays out sometimes till 6am. I rarely go out but when I do decide to its always a game of 21 questions with him. Where are u going? Are there boys there? What time will you be home?. Ect. It gets to the point where hes mad at me for even wanting to leave the house he believes that the women sould stay in and cook, clean and tend to his every need which I do in the weekdays but the weekends I like to spend time with my friends. We are not married..is this normal?

Voting Results
27% Normal
Based on 49 votes (13 yes)
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Comments ( 15 )
  • Karmasbitch
    10 years ago

    Hypocrites are normal, yes.

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  • bambie
    10 years ago

    It might be how he was brought up my bf of over 5 years is the same way it's ok for him to go out and do whatever and not tell me anything but we get into a fight even if I go 2 dinner with my mother I just brush it off and tell him that I'm an adult and remind him that I do tell him where I'm going who I'm with and what I'm doing even if he doesn't because I have nothing to hide.

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  • ccjigsaw
    10 years ago

    Talk to him, he's being hypocritical. Remind him that you are not an expenseable aspect in his life and you can leave anytime you want, so he better shape up or ship out

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  • Phishy
    10 years ago

    He sounds like an asshole.

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    • [Old Memory]
      10 years ago

      He sounds like a pussy.

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  • Holzman67
    10 years ago

    Too many men are like this and fail to see how they contradict themselves. I apologize for my gender.
    I think that males, while growing up around other males come to understand how they and other males think and behave towards women. So when they get their own they can get rather possessive and protective because they know what's out there. This happens in father daughter relationships as well.
    I don't condone it, I'm just trying to shed some light on it. I think space in a relationship is important, as is maintaining friendships outside of the relationship. He needs to trust you.
    You should sit him down and talk to him.

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  • 69
    10 years ago

    mmmm.... that'd make really me suspicious

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  • 53739
    8 years ago

    That's not insecurity, that's crazy

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  • Avant-Garde
    9 years ago

    I don't really think that he is being insecure. He sounds a little controlling and hypocritical. I read this and warning flags are going off around my head. If you were married, would his behaviour somehow be okay? If you get married, you can best believe that his behaviour will escalate. You are being unwise if you continue to stay with someone like that.

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  • J3553
    10 years ago

    "...he believes that the women sould stay in and cook, clean and tend to his every need..."

    Sounds like a jerk to me...

    He doesn't sound "insecure". He sounds like he has trust issues and/or is controlling. If it's trust issues, you need to find out why he doesn't trust you. Trust is the base of any relationship, intimate or not. Without trust, your relationship will not last. If he's trying to control you (which I would bet on based on the "women need to stay at home" thing.) then he's not worth it.

    But that's just my opinion, I guess. If you want to stay with him, you need to explain how it makes you feel that he gets to go out and have fun with his friends and he doesn't want you to have the same right.

    "We are not married.."

    If you were married, would you think this is appropriate behavior? I ask because I don't see another reason for you to clarify that.

    It's not. He doesn't own you no matter what label you want to give your relationship.

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    • Sog
      10 years ago

      Who is the one with trust issues? The guy? Or his girlfriend who plays 20 questions every time he wants to spend a night out with his friends and then guilt trips him for leaving?

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      • Becca15
        10 years ago

        I think you misunderstood. The guy is the one asking the questions.

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        • Sog
          10 years ago

          Ah, I'm sorry. You're right I misread.

          I do think you're over dramatizing by saying that he only wants you to stay in and cook for him though.

          Have you ever given him any reason to believe that you're messing around with other guys when you go out? If so, I'd say that his trust is not going to be easy to win back. Or he just might be the controlling type.

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          • Becca15
            10 years ago

            I think it might just be his past relationships. Hes been cheated on before

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  • Terence_the_viking
    10 years ago

    Yeah i wouldn't say insecure i would just say he doesn't trust you.

    what a slag he is.

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