Is it normal for my boyfriend to be like this?

I will try to give both sides as much as possible. I have been dating my boyfriend on and off since jr high, 6 years. We have gone through so much throughout those years, breaking up with each other and such - mostly the things we did in between dating, like being with other people. He was always kind of an a$$hole and pretty jealous, but it was nothing I couldn't deal with. We've always truly loved each other. And we have never cheated on each other.

Last year when we got back together I became pregnant and wasn't sure if he was the father. I was completely honest with him about everything, and the odds seemed to be against him being the father. The other guy was also of a different race. My bf stayed with me until I started to show and just quit calling me one day, after he gave me the impression he wouldn't do that (I asked him many times if he was going to stop seeing me when i got big and gave him plenty opportunity to call it quits). He called me occasionally to check on me and partied a lot to deal with everything I guess. I started talking more to the other guy (who meant very little to me), deciding I should at least try to be with who I thought was the father...

When I had the baby she did not look biracial, but I had many conniving people who were close to me telling me she was so I was very confused. I never called my bf. I put her pictures on myspace and facebook hoping he'd see them somehow and I waited for him to call. He had no doubt she was his when he called 3 months after her birth and I sent him her picture. I moved in with him the following month.

Now he is an asshole to me almost all the time. He gripes at me for going to university, where I might talk to guys in my classes. I can't tell him things I hear people say or conversations that involve a guy (even a teacher sometimes)lest he get jealous. He accuses me of wanting his brother, who lives with us. One time I stayed up all night studying and he swore I wanted him to go to sleep so i could meet up with his brother. If I have to stay late for a class (even only 15 minutes)he gets mad at me and ignores me when i get home. He never wants to help me with our daughter when im trying to do homework and make deadlines until i bitch him out. he does have back and neck pain all the time, but even when he has pain killers its no different. He also watches her all day while im at school (with his granny's help usually).

Does he have a right to treat me this way? What can I do? IIN?

Voting Results
19% Normal
Based on 58 votes (11 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • pooty85

    he obviously has issues with jealousy since you have a history of being promiscuous. he made the decision to take you back and be with you knowing that at one point the paternity of the child was questionable. his behavior is understandable, however, he chose to be with you and, from what i understand, nobody twisted his leg or put a gun to his head. he should be able to live with the past and move on from it. you have a beautiful daughter together and all that drama is in the past. there seems to be a lot of demons from it, have you considered family counsiling?

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  • joelsmo

    You screw around and get knocked up and you wonder why he acts that way. I only wonder why he hasn't kicked you to the curb. I guess he must like dating a skank

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    • I don't screw around. I agree I shouldn't have dated the other guy, but I was not with my boyfriend at the time. This could have happened to any couple who is on and off. The pregnancy just happened at a terrible time in this context.

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  • BoredGuy

    lol what a mega whore!!! ye, your bf is at fault here, I would completely erase you of my life and memory.

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  • CountryRoads

    This would be a possibly understandable situation if you didn't have a kid, but when kids are involved men need to step up to the plate and forget all that petty crap like jealousy. The baby should be both of your priorities, if you feel miserable and he's not helping with the child, you need to move on. It's not normal to be that jealous; there's no moving forward on a foundation of distrust. You need to do what's best for your kid, and he doesn't seem like a good influence or a big help. Fathers shouldn't be screamed at in order to help with their babies. You can do better than the life you have at the moment.

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  • I have definitely considered counseling, but he doesn't want to go to a family counselor, he thinks he just needs a one on one session... but he doesn't have insurance so i don't think that is even gonna happen.. He deals with this by talking crap to me all the time, name calling and racist comments. I try to be understanding but he hits me hard with his words so often that I just break and say things I don't mean back - I've never argued with anyone else I've dated, but I feel like he turns me into a bitch. Yet still I know he is a really good guy deep down and I want more than anything to get past this. I forget bad things from the past easily so that also kind of hinders my ability to empathize.

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  • he sounds ok but he thinks you are a cheater. finish your uni and move out but keep him in your life

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