Is it normal for my boyfriend to always listen to his mother?
Alright.. So in my past writings I have written about how much I have had to struggle lately. I have a boyfriend, we have been together for 1 year and some change. He's been spending the night at my place consistently for the past 3 or 4 months.
We never talked about moving in until my roommate decided that it was time to skip out on his share of the lease after knowing him for 9 or so years. So he sees me starting to struggle trying to hold things together… So I asked him… why not move in? You're here all the time and you have belongings here, we get along pretty well, and it would be helping me out in a great way!!! why not just make the move. He replied he needed to think about it.
Heres a little bio on him: He's 22 going on 23. He and his family are pretty close, from Italy… I can go on..
So anyways, he comes back and tells me his mother said no he cannot move in. I immediately thought to myself… wait… you asked your mother? I asked you to move in, not your mother if you can move in. He said that his mother said if he can pay rent he can pay a mortgage for a house… Perhaps I am confused here, but I know its a big commitment to move in with your significant other, but buying a house isn't?
Then he goes on to say that his mother finds it odd that we hang out all the time and doesn't like it. Also doesn't like the fact that he spends so much time at my house. I knew 22 is still young… but my wings stopped being clipped at 17. I moved out at 17 and I have been on my own since then. So he continues to stay here which pisses me off because about 80% of his life is spent here and he refuses to help me out with rent or bills that he helps accumulate.
So… I calmly try to have a conversation with him about it. I start by telling him that he sees me struggling because of the sudden abandonment of my roommate. Everything is on me and I just need help. So since I said this to him, he has been staying away from the house. It was NIGHT and DAY difference how sudden it was. Now he doesn't want to stay because he would think I would think he's obligated to paying bills…
I don't want him to become distant because I absolutely love his company… however, it just seems like he isn't being completely honest with me and would just rather hear him say he just doesn't want to move in… but the fact that we have been together for a year and I've held my stuff together and now I am falling apart… I would think that he would be more inclined to want to move in.