Is it normal for my boyfriend's ex to text and fb message him?

37% Normal
9 Comments

He dumped her 8 months ago because he didn't love her anymore. They dated for 2 years; she was crushed. I have been dating him for the past 3 months. She texts, facebook messages, and calls him often. His sisters and friends believe she still loves him, but he is not sure. He has stayed friends with all his ex's, which I don't mind, with the exception of this one. Because she likely still has feelings for him, and because he is now dating me, I feel it is inappropriate for her to behave in this way. What do you think? I don't care if they talk, just as long as she doesn't be secretive about it.

Voting Results
37% Normal
Based on 52 votes (19 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • dappled
    13 years ago

    I think you have a very mature attitude about it. That it's okay for them to talk as long as it's not a secret. Make your feelings clear and add that you expect both of them to do the same.

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  • BoredGuy
    13 years ago

    i wouldn't even be ok if my gf was talking to her pre-school bf!

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  • itsme123
    11 years ago

    Me and my ex boyfriend are best friends, we can't keep any secrets from each other. My boyfriend hates him, and I think he's jealous of how close me and Theo( my ex)are. He knows that I love him and I don't like Theo like that, even though I'm sure that Theo still has feelings for me. So it is fine for them to be friends, just don't get to possesive

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  • aduusw
    12 years ago

    I think that what is really important I'd not if she likes him... But if he likes her... If he doesn't, then what's the matter... There will always be girls who like your bf... He can't control that ;)

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  • sleepingbeauty
    12 years ago

    I like your attitude, but patience can go too far. Ongoing contact is inevitable for some people because there may be children involved. However wether there is or not, there are still limits as to what is acceptable or even reasonable.

    Whereas you may be perfectly reasonable and mature about low level contact, when it oversteps the boundaries it makes you anxious and possibly jealous, completely understandable. Talk to him about it, tell him how it makes you feel and why, you never know he may just be able to see it from your point of view and get her to take a step back to where she belongs; in the past.

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  • PoeticDreamer
    12 years ago

    I think the way you're feeling is normal and justified, and it sounds like you're being very mature and reasonable. It's usually good and fine to stay in touch with exes - they were a big part of your life once so it would be a shame for them to just lose touch and disappear. But it sounds like this girl needs to back off a bit. Talk to your boyfriend about how you feel, tell him you don't have a problem with them staying in touch as long as he doesn't keep secrets, but that maybe she should get her to take a step back.

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  • blkgirl
    13 years ago

    Nope, they had a history together... if he is with you, why does he need her.

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  • Whitneyhouston
    13 years ago

    She doesn't see the boundary lines :/ maybe your boyfriend shouldn't talk to her until she has moved on.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Nice that you have a very mature attitude. I'm not ok with my girl talking to her ex though. He hurt her so much and I don't want him to bother her again. I'm very protective of her, I don't want her to be hurt or bothered. She's over him, I hate to be controlling in that sort, but I personally have a problem if she was talking to an ex.

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