Is it normal for my bf to flirt with young girls in front of me?

29% Normal
26 Comments

I'm a 44 year-old woman. My boyfriend was flirting with a 19 year-old girl right in front of me. I felt humiliated. I brought it up later and he denied it. But he was laughing, smiling and leaning towards her talking in a seductive way. His pupils were huge and he was blushing! He's always telling me how old I am, when we fight, but he is older than I am. Then after the fight he said he loved me. I am very upset. This can't be love. He also always has young girls as roommates. He had sex with one of them, but claims we were "on a break "
So what is really going on?

Voting Results
29% Normal
Based on 34 votes (10 yes)
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Comments ( 26 )
  • Fall_leaves
    7 years ago

    Why are you still with him if he's interested in girls young enough to be his daughter.

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  • IMissMary
    7 years ago

    Realistically you can't compete with a young female. Your choice is to either learn this bitter lesson the hard way or accept it as reality.

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  • charli.m
    7 years ago

    If you're 44 and can't work this shit out, you muat be a window licker.

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    • [Old Memory]
      7 years ago

      Wow, what a bitchy response! Normal people just ignore threads they think are stupid, but you feel the need to call the OPs some variety of the word retard. I'm genuinely fascinated by your intense bitchiness.

      Australians have absolutely no chill! I know an Australian on another forum, and he nonstop is telling all the children on the site to drink bleach and stuff. Is this just a part of your guys' culture? Or do the internet speeds just make you people perpetually cranky online?

      t.curious American

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      • charli.m
        7 years ago

        Stupid questions deserve to be treated as such.

        You hardly have the high ground here, cupcake, as well as absolutely no idea what you're talking about.

        I could go ahead and say that's typical of all Americans based on one interaction, only I'm not a fuckwit.

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        • [Old Memory]
          7 years ago

          So some lady is having relationship problems and reaches out to the internet for emotional support in a totally innocent way, and your best response is to call her a window licker. Lmao.

          Normally I wouldn't give a shit, but I just find it ironic you've taken the moral high ground against me in the past, while this is the way you regularly conduct yourself.

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          • charli.m
            7 years ago

            Diddums.

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            • [Old Memory]
              7 years ago

              Most of the time I see you on here, you're either calling people retarded, or defending yourself against the people responding to you for calling everyone retarded. You must have a dark past. What made you like this?

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      • Solmaster64
        7 years ago

        Fag

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      • Ellenna
        7 years ago

        So labelling all Australians because of ONE person on another forum isn't bitchy? Grow up

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  • yingvsyang
    7 years ago

    I had almost the same problem but when i got rid of my ex it was like i was i heaven and i didnt look back again.Today i feel like i made the right choice ,you should to make the right choice and find a man that will never threat you like that,never abandon you over another woman and never lie to you like that.You are beautiful and strong woman dont let this man drag you down and use you as money maker get a man that will not shame you every time you look at him in public.

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  • yingvsyang
    7 years ago

    Stop leading this woman to wrong side of the story riffraffy.If you rely want to help stay out of this conversation.This woman is in big problem by the name called stupid asshole who is an old perverted mamas boy ,been with some jerk lets just say he wasnt man at all,but a slimy git.You are probably the same as that ass or worse.Listen to me your boyfriend is old news get rid of him.Think about it this way if he had any pride as a man in the first place and respected your wishes he wouldnt be treating you like some kind of object he can manipulate so he can get the money and younger girls. He is one shitty person to begin with.Trust me when i got rid of my ex i felt like i was i heaven, instead constantly thinking about him get a real man that treats you like a beautiful woman you are.

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  • Rihyae
    7 years ago

    Wow. He might as well have called you his sister.

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  • Silencedvoice
    7 years ago

    Mostly, I felt disrespected. I meant to say "I do not wish to compete with younger girls" In response to the reply regarding "market value " I am a person with feelings and not a commodity. But, I understand that way of thinking, it's common for some men. I don't think he should have blatantly behaved like a pervert when I am sitting next to him. He can save it for when I am not there to witness. The young woman was uncomfortable as well. No manners on his part. My daughter gets freaked out when any man over 20 something checks her out. She calls them, "Burnt toast. "

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    • Kookulainamus
      7 years ago

      Having a daughter at age 20 as well as an M.D. degree seems highly unlikely. But ignoring that digression, I made the "market value" comment. I am a widower as well, and I am sorry for your loss. Please be assured that for most men, 44 year old women have the maturity, wisdom, and experience in life to leave entitled little 19 year old girls with their ignorant games in the dust. These women also have well founded identities that would never feel insulted by such a trivial slight. If you do not fit this description, you will have relationship problems with even the most resilient and secure men that are your age.

      There is also the possibility that your boyfriend is perverted. Do remember that he is not your patient. Actually it was your grace and adaptability under pressure that were being tested.

      I would say this. Chin up, doctor. Next time, you better play up in your own league.

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      • Silencedvoice
        7 years ago

        It's very difficult for two parents both in med school to raise a family we didn't plan for, but we did it. That being said, I don't think young woman at 19 is the culprit in this situation. She did nothing to elicit such behavior. He was the only one who wasn't able to control his impulses.
        Most of my female peers find this behavior intolerable. I would never treat my bf like that...He would be hurt. I don't think this is the right forum for me. I have come across so much ignorance and intolerance. I appreciate other's perspective, however, personal attacks come across as, well....mean and hostile. Kinda weird too. Blaming a teenager for her age and taking the onus of him, is like the mini skirt defense.

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        • Kookulainamus
          7 years ago

          You do seem far more empathetic and gentle than people that work in competitive fields. Indeed, this may be the wrong forum for this kind of question in your case.

          To clarify, I would never blame the 19 year old. Burned Toast perverts are everywhere and a girl needs to learn to say, "Fuck off". Hopefully the experience was a character building exercise for her.

          Your reaction seems rather simple and understandable. What is confusing is your continued desire to protect your Mama's boy's feelings. Most women would have reflexively withdrawn putting large emotional distance between the two of you. He has got to know that he will be judged by everybody's reasonable standards and needs you to hold an objective mirror up to show him what most people thought. Consequences are everywhere.

          I am shaking my head. I honestly don't see much of a robust egalitarian sense of strength on your part that can roll with the punches. That said, you may have the superior and sensitive perceptiveness needed to work with special patients.

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  • Silencedvoice
    7 years ago

    Thanks for taking time to read and respond to my question. I am trying to think about the reason I am still with him. He is not good looking, does not work and he is a mama's boy. I am a high earner and capable of supporting a nice lifestyle. I never like to say this, but I am also very beautiful. I am used to dating successful and kind men in my profession. These men have never treated me in a way that would make me feel bad or call me names. So why am I with such a jerk? I must be sick or depressed, it's worth investigating, that's why I am here asking for different opinions. I value each one. Thanks again.

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  • Digsbie
    7 years ago

    normal but not nice. might be time to re_think your options. maybe a new boyfriend

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  • yingvsyang
    7 years ago

    He is one huge asshole and you should break up with him.Old geezer would probably be all too happy to compile so he can have unlimited free sex whit younger chiks.He is old pervert and you are mature woman you dont need a player in your life, go find the right man cause this dude ant it.

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    • Solmaster64
      7 years ago

      Feminism

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  • mrbrownfinger
    7 years ago

    Let him do as he wants. Are you always this pathetic? No wonder he looks elsewhere

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  • riffraffy
    7 years ago

    A man's commitment is his greatest value to a relationship. By appearing not to be a 'sure' thing, it actually drives a woman to want him more.

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    • Silencedvoice
      7 years ago

      That's a odd thing to believe. He is pushing me away. The less sure about me he is, assuming that is the case, the less desirable he is to me. I prefer men who know what they want and are capable of obtaining it. He does not treasure me and possibly wants to be with someone half his age, well I would respect him for going out and getting what he wants. I am not interested in a man who is with me for any reason other than love. And I would never be with someone for any reason other than love. Unfortunately, many men are becoming increasingly dependent on women for financial reasons. Gross. If he can't get the girls he wants and is using me....I don't want to commit to him.

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      • riffraffy
        7 years ago

        And yet you're here on a random advice board asking about him. When you constantly worry, and are concerned over it for days after it happened--that strengthens a woman's drive to keep her man. It builds attraction. Never said it made much sense.

        Silver lining though: the waitress just wanted a large tip and your husband just wanted to make you jealous. Both succeeded.

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