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I am 24 and have 3 children all 5 and under, my husband left me nearly a year ago after nearly 6 years of being together. I want a companion (defo not a new daddy for my kids!!) I love my kids and have spoken about them - I will not hide or deny I have them!! As soon as I start talking to a bloke they run a mile as soon as they realise I have kids.....is this normal?
Yes it's normal.
A lot of men your age are far from ready to be the father even of one child, let alone 3 young children. Most are at a stage where they are just figuring out what to do with themselves. Whilst you might be looking for just a companion, not a 'new daddy for your kids', inevitably your children are a significant factor in any relationship you have, and that 'baggage' (for want of a less pejorative word) is bound to scare a lot of young men off unfortunately for you :/
That being said, there is bound to be some special guy out there up for the challenge, you'll just have to be patient looking for him. Best of luck to you.
My "husband" was a nasty vile controlling man! He slowly isolated me from everyone inc my parents. Now I have no one, literally not another single person -adult wise - to talk too day in day out. I love my children unconditionally but sometimes id like to talk about things anything, normal things....is that so wrong?! I want my old friends back (have never really got on with girls) :/
I hear ya. In fact, my best friend is in the exact same scenario as you. Like you, she is A 24 year old single mother who divorced her husband of 5 years, and even got a restraining order from him! He was controlling and abusive, and drove her away from everyone, including me and her own family.
We were best friends in high school, and we got kinda close , she was the only person who I really felt comfortable with, and who I could tell her anything, well, except for how I felt about her. I ended up getting feelings for her, but It took me some time for me to come to realize it. I even went to kiss her at the Homecoming bonfire senior year, but chickened out for some reason. by the time I sorted it out, she found her (then) future husband. Well, I still enjoyed the time we spent, and we texted alot. We even went to the same college, although she soon dropped out, and then stopped texting me Entirely.
I didn't think much of it at first, or so I told myself, but I look back and realized It must have affected me, as I became real withdrawn and focused on my college work, to the point I would spend hours after classes were over every night, and I grew stressed out and depressed. My grades slipped badly, from an A's and B's, to mostly D's. Oddly, the only thing that helped me to smile (weakly) and keep me from failing was taking an occasional break to watch My little Pony on YouTube (which I discovered during college). I was able to pass with some C's And D's.
I didn't actively think about her alot, in fact, she rarely came up in my thoughts at the time, but I wonder if it affected me. Also, losing every one of my grandparents to cancer in a span of 4 years didn't help either, as well as money troubles, nor did being overwhelmed with schoolwork.
Fast forward to December 2015, she messages me out of nowhere and tells me everything that happened to her in the last several years, as well as why she didn't talk to me.
My heart sank when I heard about his abusiveness, but I was otherwise overjoyed to see her. We reconnected over a bonfire, got drunk, and talked all night! We were the talk of the party apparently, and everyone thought we were an item. We had a laugh about that. We text and message each other over Facebook. She told me she was "enjoying being single", and had a few disastrous dates since the divorce. I am starting to wonder if those old feelings are returning.
Hopefully you will find someone who will like you the way you are, kids or no kids. Hopefully you have been able to reconnect with your friends as well.
Best wishes, Legion.
(PS, sorry for the long story)
Have you thought about it that your children may reject the new partner and sabotage the relationship? That's what happened to me with my ex gf. No man likes to come second after the children also.
If the tables were turned, would you choose the responsibility of 3 kids who were not yours in a new relationship?
You've kinda screwed up your life and you are going to have to live with it for a very long time, about 15 years.
What were you thinking, to have 3 kids before you are 25? And with such an obvious loser.