Is it normal for me to wish i was more involved.

So I have been dating this guy for almost a year now. I am his first gay relationship so I know what I am getting into. He and I are into cars, working out, and doing other masculine activities… You couldnt tell either of our sexuality's by talking to or seeing us. However, after almost a year, I find myself isolated from his friends and family. We've been in talks about this… I told him that he doesnt have to introduce me as a boyfriend just a friend… And he refuses. He never said no.. just when the occasion arrises.. he just doesnt. He knows all my friends (all straight) my family and everything. I understand that he is italian and must keep things under wraps at this time… heck I am black and know how hard it is to come out… I mean mine wasnt the best time in the world… and I am willing to stand by his side until he is (if ever) going to come out. But seriously… He talks about his friends by name as if I know any of them. He takes trips out of the country with them randomly (mostly women and sometimes other guys but in groups… like spring break in stuff) He goes out to the clubs with them sometimes but never even ask if I want to come along… then when I ask to join him, he says no?!?

Then recently his mother told him she finds it odd for him to be hanging with me so much (he's 22 btw) and spending the night at my place. So he tells me that he wont be crashing at your house as much anymore… REALLY!? With my work schedule, and his school and work schedule, nights and weekends are pretty much the only times we have to hang together. My response was is the mother going to control this relationship? He says no… I ask do you want this relationship and he says yes.. he loves me very much... I understanding he still live in his mothers house has some pull, I dont expect her to tell him when he can and cannot hang with me.

She calls him and tells him to come home and he does, She tells him not to hang with me and he restricts this relationship and he does. Now I find myself not wanting to see him at times.. because his mother has more pull in this relationship than I do it seems… that or his friends.. Am I normal because I want to know more about his life..ie his friends… I know nothing about them at all and his mother probably finds it odd because we never really met..

Voting Results
54% Normal
Based on 24 votes (13 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • wreckd

    He is more than likely worried that if you hang out with him and his friends, you two will start getting more and more comfortable with it and might slip up and show your true feelings for eachother. It's not right to keep you in the dark like this. If you love someone, no matter their gender, you should be able to show everyone proudly.

    Tell him how you feel and explain that if you're going to be together, introduction has to happen sometime.

    As for his mother, she may know what is going on or she may suspect that he doesn't want to introduce you because you're a drug dealer or do drugs together. Just a thought to keep in mind...

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  • candle8

    Explain to him how life is much better once you've "come out". Try to support him, and not make yourself the victim in this. And do not ask him to do this huge step in his life for you.
    He should do it for himself and ONLY for himself.

    That counts for all the important decisions in life.

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  • "So I have been dating this guy"
    -I stop reading, comment and then leave after those 7 words-.

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    • in sovietic russia gay people ignore you :O

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      • -sigh- another Immature person (most likely a teenager) comes to this site trying to look cool through sarcasm and not so funny jokes. You will fit in here alongside all the other boring immature kiddies on this site.

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