Is it normal for me to want to be diapered and spanked and be a girl?

Hey everyone! I want to start out saying that this post is serious, and please remember to vote. For a while now I have had small fantasies about being spanked and things like that. Not hard, but gentle. The fantasies weren’t that common. My parents spanked me when I was a young kid, my mom with her hand and over her lap and with my dad I had my pants pulled down. They stopped at about age 8. My Aunt, when I was bad, would still give me a gentle spank. Right in the middle, never hard. But that eventually stopped too. But ever since about a year ago it got a lot worse. I recently got access to the internet, and with that comes some weird stuff. I became obsessed with diapers and being spanked, finding all kinds of stories about it. Then I saw a picture of a hot skinny girl wearing a tight shirt, her butt sticking out the back, and wearing a skirt that only covered a third of her butt on the back. Like a tiny tutu. Instead of panties however, she was wearing a little kid diaper. It was taken from the back, and the girl was unawares. The picture fascinated me. So I guess I wanted to be like that. Now to be clear, I am a guy. I am not gay, meaning I like girls. But for some reason ever since I’ve been imagining ways to be like that and what it would be like to be in a relationship with someone who would gently spank my once or twice a day, and also me wearing a diaper, perhaps in public. I would wear probably tights so you can tell I’m wearing a diaper if I wanted to find someone. I also would like it if some stranger just slaps my butt on the way by. I’d also have a couple skirts that I would wear when I would want to be super revealing. And I’d have an open view to my backyard in which I’d always be in a diaper and bra. Same when I’m home, unless company is over in which case a tight shirt and short skirt. Now I think this live would be interesting and embarrassing, just perfect. Only problem. I’m a guy. With a dick and balls, so I can’t do that. I can be very femminstic though. So what do you guys think about all this? One more thing in the comments, tell me if it’s normal when looking at girls in diapers for sticky stuff to come out of my dick. So now I wear toilet paper inside my underwear to keep it dry. Thanks for reading!