Is it normal for me to want more than i have? am i being unrealistic?

55% Normal
8 Comments

I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half. I'm 18 and he's 17. I've never been more in love. I've gone out with a more people than him and he decided he wanted to try out someone else last month. He found a girl who lives next to his grandma and went over to her house. He says they didn't do anything. I got a message on facebook from her and she seemed to think they were dating. After crying my brains out and breaking up with him for the first time ever, we got back together after a week. It seems like now we break up every couple days. One breakup he even went back to her and did gross sexual things. It ripped my heart out, but I felt like I've put in so much effort that I had to make it worthwhile. We're back together now, and he won't stop talking about how 'controlling' I am. I admit, I expect a lot of things from him, but my dream is to wear what I want, live in an old house in Portland and pursue my career in graphic design. He hates Portland with a passion and won't even consider living there. He's lived in Washington his whole live and I've live in two other countries. I just want something consistent and he wants to move everywhere. He slacks in school and won't graduate for another two years. Then he plans on becoming a union iron worker, which I have no problem with. He just hates my idea of a perfect future, and I feel like I should find someone who accepts me for who I want to be and can be apart of it. Im so in love with him that thinking about leaving him and being alone kills me inside. Prom is coming up and we're going. I was thinking about doing it this summer when I'm out of school and don't have to see him. I don't know. I have so much of his stuff and we have so many good times. Am I just wanting something I can never have? What if this is the best relationship I'll ever have and I'm throwing it away? Is this just weird?

Voting Results
55% Normal
Based on 60 votes (33 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • Hottigene
    10 years ago

    Someone who is always hurting you
    You should not be with if he Loved you so much he would not do it I would give anything to hsve a girl like you eho sounds so sweet it makes me angry thst people like.him hurts girls like you he is probley doing.the same with other girls he probly comes bsck to you when he wants sex . Id look for some who.really Loves You.

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  • Mookiemonster19
    12 years ago

    U need a man not a boy go find your man babe!

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  • howaminotmyself
    12 years ago

    It doesn't sound like the two of you share the same dreams and goals. And don't be afraid to be alone. This will give you time to get to know you.

    And I feel I should warn you, the graphic design job market is over-saturated in Portland. I know this town well. I have a few friends with graphic design degrees who had to fall back on other dreams because of the lack of jobs. I'm secretly grateful for this because my assistant is a great graphic design artist but I don't have many tasks that utilize her skill. But she needed a job and thanks to chatty bus patrons, I have a more than qualified assistant.

    You should still strive for this if it is what you want but you should definitely find a specific niche to aim towards and explore many avenues. If you can't find a job, you will have to make one. What do you want to do?

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  • kyanviado
    12 years ago

    I know it's hard but If you are thinking of breakup than it's time to do just that. If you wish to stay with him than you will need to comprise. I am not saying giving up all your dreams but if you want to live with him, you would both have to agree together on a residence. May not be Portland but somewhere you two could call home. If you are unwilling to compromise for him than you need to move on until you meet the one, of which you shall know who it is

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  • cassandravl
    12 years ago

    I know you feel like you love him but don't ever settle for something. One day your going to find a man that makes you sparkle, that makes you happy without trying, not someone you can live with but rather someone you can live without.

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  • tagsystem
    12 years ago

    You are way to young to be stressing over these type of issues and your relationship has just started try to imagine 11 years from now two affairs and two kids later you don't want to be stuck in a stupid relationship that didn't make sense from the beginning let him go sweetie trust me it ain't worth the headache or heart ache and you don't want to bring kids into an unstable home or relationship

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  • wrdlynrml
    12 years ago

    Um. I dont really know where to start. Your very young but seem to be having adult issues already. I think your bfs immature. Hes not ready for commitment - just like most 17 year old boys. I also personally think hes taking you for granted. He knows your always there no matter what which allows him to mess about and treat you like you should be grateful to have him. Fun is one thing- a lot of people are fun. But doe he make you feel special?? Does he make you feel like its ok to just be you? Compromise is a big part of every relationship but not to the extent that you lose your own identity. Your young. You have plenty of time to find mr right. And yeah the 'take a break' idea seems good. Just some alone time without any pressure or ultimatums. Good luck!

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  • BoredGuy
    12 years ago

    usually males wants to be the leader. your relationship was halfway doom since you had more experience than him

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