Is it normal for me to just give up on trying to help her?

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12 Comments

My friend since I was born has gotten into some pretty heavy drugs. She's done so much damage to her brain she can't even remember the layout of our school. We, as seniors, just got back to school and had our new schedules. She asked me where one of her classes was and I said what the number and section of the school it was.
It's pretty simple; the school is shaped like a rectangle and has sections marked as A on the left side, B in the middle, and C on the right. The second floor, the top floor, has numbers in the two hundreds. Whereas the bottom floor has numbers in the one hundreds.
She can't even remember that simple bit of info. She said that she needed to know the color. After this shocking discovery of how fucked up her brain was I just decided to give up on my longtime friend. She was like a sister but over time we grew apart. I don't really care that much anymore but if there is anything I can do to help I would like to know.
Thanks in advance!

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62% Normal
Based on 39 votes (24 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    If my friend got in to drugs so much that it was that bad, I would try get him medical help before giving up. Only when you try to help them, and they refuse to help themselves, that's when you give up on them.

    I think people have a responsibilty as a true friend to try help their friends in need, unless they are refusig to help themselves.

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    • Oh_Hai_There
      11 years ago

      Thanks for the feedback. She really doesn't want to help herself. At all. She doesn't care what she's doing to her body. I know I'm like her big brother and everything, being born 3 days before her. But, I can't seem to get myself to care anymore. She smokes cigarrettes too ;/

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      • [Old Memory]
        11 years ago

        Try make it aware that you want her to get medical help, and that you'd go with her. If she refuses, tell her that you don't think you can go on with her being like that and that you will end up becoming distant due to the drug abuse.
        If you have tried to help her and she has refused, there isn't much you can do for her. The main thing that gets someone to stop drug abuse is if they are trying to and want to stop it.

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  • DanishGirl
    11 years ago

    The hardest thing to do in this situation is to give up. She's going to have to lose everything before she decides or maybe even realizes that she has a serious problem. I've never done drugs personally myself but I've gone through something similar with a close friend of mine. You cannot help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. It's sad to see someone you care about hurt themselves in that way. I'm truly sorry you've had to make that choice.

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  • JuliusE
    11 years ago

    You can't fix her. Only she can. They best thing you can do for her is to cut her off/give up/don't buy or co-sign her bullshit. Maybe that will help her realize and change, maybe it won't, but either way you'll only be enabling her and/or causing unnecessary BS in your life. You don't need the headaches.

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  • shade_ilmaendu
    11 years ago

    Are you in high school or college? How old are you guys? Because it sounds like you're in high school. What on earth drugs are kids doing nowadays that your friend is that fucked up already? Salts? XD

    If you tell me she's smoking weed, I'm going to die laughing. If she's doing hard drugs, rehab would be your best option but she will probably be really resistant to wanting to go :/ It's hard to make an addict quit.

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    • Oh_Hai_There
      11 years ago

      High school. I know she's smoked weed and smoked cigarettes. I can assume from what her brain has become that she has done acid and shit of that nature.

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      • shade_ilmaendu
        11 years ago

        I mean.... I've done some acid in my day and I'm pretty sure I still remember shit.

        But I'm not entirely sure what you mean... color? What's colored? And aside from that what other things has she done that makes you think she's brain damaged?

        Acid can fuck you up if you do a lot of it, but it's not necessarily addictive, not in the way that coke or heroin are at least. Honestly it's not even on par with caffiene because it's not something your body can become dependant on, wheras anything can be a psychological addiction.

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        • Oh_Hai_There
          11 years ago

          She might be doing heroine or cocaine. I'm not certain, but it seems that way. Her eyes are always fucked up when I see her. It's horrible.

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          • shade_ilmaendu
            11 years ago

            You don't seem to have a lot of evidence to go on. If all you know is she smoked weed and her eyes are "fucked up" I don't think you have enough evidence to even know what she's on. O.o

            I mean, when you say fucked up, do you mean bloodshot? Cause she miiight just be stoned.

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            • Oh_Hai_There
              11 years ago

              Not just bloodshot. Hard to explain, but they're completely red. She's gotten angry too. Sometimes she'll lash out at me just because I said something about what she's doing to her body. She doesn't want to help herself. I've just given up :/

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  • dinz
    11 years ago

    Yeah you could serve all the help you can offer on a silver platter but in the end it is up to her to make that final decision.

    Sometimes we need to be blunt with our friends and make them choose between the drugs or our friendship. The truth hurts but hey its life you can't expect people to stay onboard a ship sailing towards an ice berg.

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