Is it normal for me to feel this way about my gender?

I'm transgendered.
I live in fear of judgement and discrimination.
Though things have improved, my self image is consistently poor and I can't see what my friends try to tell me they see.
I can't find work, I have no money, I have no confidence and sometimes I wonder if I have any friends.
My life isn't as bad as a lot of others here - heck my life has improved. but in reality, what happiness I've had has just been due to a relative shift in my life. It still sucks, but it used to be hell.
How does one find love when they are faced with a dilemma of keeping a lie or risking losing everything by revealing a secret.
I don't have any physical attraction anyway due to my own inhibitions due to my own hatred of my genitals, but I seek love and don't have much hope in finding it. Why did the doctors keep both sex organs intact on my body? Was it right for them to make me dance like a stripper to help offset medical bills?
Some days are really happy, when things go right. But on others, I feel very alone.
I feel sorry for these people going through far more morbid issues on this website. I've been there too, but that's in my past now. My childhood was littered with thoughts of suicide and desperate attempts to fix myself. I'd cry every time my dreams disintegrated in the morning. I'd wish every second of every day that things would change, and fight my own hatred to keep myself both alive and intact, hoping these feelings would go away as I matured - that I would become normal. Is it normal instead of my real nametag at work Human Resources gave me one that said "Shemale"?

While this is in the past, it still scars me. I wish I had a normal childhood, and I wish I could relive that through caring for my own children, but unfortunately, I can't have kids - despite my longing.

Voting Results
60% Normal
Based on 35 votes (21 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • blablablah221

    As a member of the Gay/Straight Alliance (which includes transgendered people), I can honestly say that what you're feeling is completely normal. Of course you live in fear of judgement and discrimination - with the way our society regards sex change, I'd be surprised if you weren't. However, what you mentioned about the doctors and the people from Human Resources is most definitely not normal. I'd call whoever employs them, if not the police. That's serious exploitation and harassment. On to the finding love issue, always remember that sexuality is fluid; you fall in love with a person, not a gender. Keep your heart open because there are always accepting people around, you just have to look for them. By the way, once you find a partner, even your dream of children is possible. Ever heard of adoption? Anyways, I send you my full support and wish you all the luck in the future.

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  • NoraBaker

    Yup, you're good. It's all normal. I love how nice HR of the work you can't find were so nice as to even give you a name tag! Power to the glitz and glam!

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    • You think its something they are doing as a way of saying they "like me", you know like by joking around they are saying they accept me?

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      • NoraBaker

        Hahaha definitely! Now if they make a djShemale one, all in rhinestones, it means they really love you!!! You go, girl! :))

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        • A djShemale one? You lost even me on that one. The rhinestones would be a nice touch though.

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      • blablablah221

        No offense to NoraBaker, but to me, it doesn't really sound like that's the case here. Did they ever talk to you outside of work? If not, then I'm sorry, but it sounds more serious than joking around. But if they did talk to you outside of work, then who knows; maybe they really were accepting. More power to you! Just be wary of that, though. Sometimes those things can seem like playing around when it's really harassment.

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  • fratom

    friendship is a true means of liking and loveing yourself so do have a chosen few that will affirm you. love you no matter what. empatise with you and your feelings be they happy or sad. you're fine, just love yourself. make friends who will listen to you. care about you, advice you. value you for who you truly are

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  • Noodleflower

    God made us different your beautiful no matter what

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  • Sw33tSp0t

    Once you go TS you'll never want to go back. Just gotta look and I'm sure you will find a person that wants nothing more than to be with you. Sucks you don't like your "genitals" as you put it b/c that's what attracts me. But hey if you're going all the way then more power to you. BTW unless you live in 1 of a few cities in the US like San Fran or NY the internet is the only way I would go if I was looking for somebody b/c yes discrimination is indeed rampant.

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  • karmasAbich

    Is it normal that I don't believe this?

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    • Thanks for the help, jerky.

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    • NoraBaker

      Of course, not even one poster here did... Lol. Still, IIN it amused me immensely? ;)

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