Is it normal for me to feel like i should never be in a relationship?

55% Normal
10 Comments

I've always been an 'observer' rather than a do-er, and at age 19, I've never been in a relationship. In fact, I can't say I've had any proper crushes, either.

I can't really say that I've met many people I'm attracted to, but I tend to get scared off if I know someone is attracted to me.

The thing is, whilst I'm aching to have a relationship, it's more for the physical aspect rather than the emotional aspect. Additionally, whilst I've been approached by various guys, I just can't imagine myself in a relationship. I can't imagine myself in a relationship with a guy, or even another girl. Ever. And it's not the thought of me being in a relationship with them, it's the thought of them being in a relationship with ME.

I find myself a little repulsed with the idea that someone would want to be with me. I don't know if this is a self-esteem issue.

I don't know, I sort of feel like I shouldn't be with anyone because I should be focusing on everyone else getting together instead and seeing them happy. (Ironically, I'm a pretty good match-maker).

Is this normal? Does anyone else have similar experiences?
(I'm straight, although to be honest, I've never really 'liked' anyone.)

Voting Results
55% Normal
Based on 64 votes (35 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • alv1592
    12 years ago

    Perhaps you're asexual.

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    • r2d2acdc
      12 years ago

      @alv1592
      No, I don't think so, because I want to have sex! I just a) haven't ever met anyone who I'd want to have sex with (I've only really ever been sexually attracted to a couple of actors, if that) and b)the idea of someone actually wanting to have sex with ME is just plain wierd/repulsive...

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  • cassandravl
    12 years ago

    ^ lmfao

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  • iheartbrady
    12 years ago

    all you have to do is get high as fuck and start touching yourself twice daily

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  • AnemicRoyalty
    7 years ago

    I registered just so I could comment on this! Is it possible that you might be on the aromantic spectrum? More people are thankfully talking about asexuality and different sexual orientations, but not a lot of people realize that there are romantic orientations as well. A person's romantic orientation may or may not match their sexual orientation, so it's possible to have any type of sexual orientation while being aromantic.

    I'm on the aromantic spectrum myself and it made so much sense when I learned that being aromantic was a thing. Not all aromantic people are romance-repulsed, but I am to some degree. Most traditional romantic gestures make me extremely uncomfortable.

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  • PinkHairedFreak
    8 years ago

    It seems like you are struggling with self-value versus your desire for companionship? Or perhaps you're just wired differently?

    When you stop "aching" and stressing over wanting a relationship, one falls right into your lap! At least, that's always the way it always seems to work out.

    It won't be perfect; no relationship is. Maybe you expect it to pick up right from the start? Well, relationships very often start out a little awkward. I'd say to give the guys around you a chance and get to know them better. Perhaps you're one of those who just don't fall for a person if you don't know them?

    Overall, it seems like you think a little too much. The best way (in my own experience) is to think less and act more.

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  • MCEminem
    8 years ago

    you said "whilst im aching to have a relationship" do you feel like you dont deserve to be in a relationship?

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  • PandaSandwich
    12 years ago

    I totally get this. I'm a 24 year old woman and I have never been in a relationship. I have dated on and off but can't imagine ever being in a serious relationship. And I kind of feel anyone would be insane to want to be with me. So I understand where you're coming from.

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  • Pisslan616
    12 years ago

    I can relate to some of this post.

    Once at a party a girl showed even the slightest bit of interest in me (Which is unusual) but I didn't find her attractive despite her being a nice person. I avoided her so she wouldn't talk to me anymore.

    Then I felt really bad afterwards because I thought that if I was going to be as shallow as that then maybe I didn't deserve to be with anyone. and who would want to be with me anyway, she must have been drunk.

    Maybe that is similar to how you feel.

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  • elliemango
    12 years ago

    Wow.... I could've posted this, I know exactly how you feel. I'm 20, and I've dated over 20 guys in the past few years .. However I've never been in a relationship longer then 3 weeks. I've never really been attracted to anyone either. It's not really so much that my standards are high, it's more like what you said- it's an insecurity , like subconsciously I feel like I'm not good enough for anyone I think has potential.

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