Is it normal for me to fall out of love

73% Normal
7 Comments

I met this wonderful guy online and we chatted for 6 months straight on skype and we c2c. I was physically attracted to him and he was physically attracted to me and we had a lot in common. We couldn't wait to meet up. We hoped that may form into a relationship one day. He lived in Russia at the time and was coming to the US this summer. He is finally here and instead of jumping for joy. I have no interest in seeing him. I am not attracted to him anymore. I don't why, nothing changed for me to have a change of heart. I explained to him that I fell out of love and he is devastated and is in love with me. I was in love with him. I don't know if it's his accent or anything that's unattractive to me. I mean we chatted on skype, I heard his voice many times and seen him on video. I had no problem then. Now that he is finally here, we talked on the phone for the first time and something changed. I would rather stay home than meet him which is really sad. It's nothing against him, I just am not attracted to him. Can I just fall out of love for him without meeting him? Please help me figure this out

Voting Results
73% Normal
Based on 44 votes (32 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • d6666
    9 years ago

    When you chasing after someone hard to obtain they can seem far more interesting to you than when you think you actually have them.

    You probably think you have the guy just because he arrived in your country and wants to meet but you don't have the guy you'd still have to work on impressing him if you met otherwise he will find a girl more worthy of himself who will treat him right which he probably already has done if he's not a creep.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Pish posh

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  • scotty4444
    13 years ago

    Maybe you were in love with the idea of being 'In Love' and the fact that he was so unavailable made him more interesting to you than he would have been had he lived close by. Also, when someone is that unavailable, we tend to fill in the details that we dont have with ideals, painting the best, hottest, sexiest, most exciting picture of the person our mind can imagine. But when they finally arrive, you will feel let down because not only are they not what you built them up to be, but since they are from another country, they are in many ways quite different from you. Also, when you strip out the impact of their unavailability, you get the other side of the continuum, which is to say, you immediately begin to take them for granted. If you really liked this guy at some point, then start fresh and just see where it goes. Its not like he came here to marry you, right?

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    • Indifferentx
      11 years ago

      Perfect explanation. Was gonna say something similar to this, but no need.

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  • mMm_omma
    13 years ago

    I kind of felt this way for my husband (boyfriend at the time) on the begining. I liked him as a friend, an he had a crush on me, but I wasn't really attracted to him. But I gave him a chance, we dated an about 6 months in, I wasn't really into him. But he was SUCH a good guy an I didn't wanna break his heart. So I stuck with it. Best desicion I ever made. We ha been together for almost 8 years an have 2 daughters.
    Sometimes I think we doubt ourselves, an where we are heading. But if you want it to work, you can get that feeling back.

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  • dc22
    13 years ago

    Thanks for the reply. Actually he was already planning to came to the US for school but I definitately helped increase his motivation for coming as said to me.

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  • matilda10
    13 years ago

    Maybe you were in love with the situation, being in contact with a completely new guy from a diff background. Maybe the suspense and unknown had you... Then when finally it became reality you realized it wasn't what you wanted, or it wasn't that exciting anymore.
    I do feel sorry for him if he made a special trip over to see you and you turned him down. However you can't help feeling like that.

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