Is it normal for me to be turned on...

93% Normal
13 Comments

I was sexually abused by my babysiter when I was three. For the longest time I feared he'd find me again, kidnap me, and (in a way) finish what he started. Now, at 18 and with the help of counseling, I have been over this fear for a while and since have ignored my past experiences. However, very recently, I've had the same thoughts about him being sexual with me, except now they don't scare me.. they kind of turn me on... is that normal?

Voting Results
93% Normal
Based on 15 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    .....So let me get this straight: As of now, literally everybody here except me thinks this is normal. What the hell?

    NOTHING about this story is normal!!!!!

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  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    12 years ago

    Normal.

    You're finding out that it's OK to have desires.

    Your psyche may be focusing on him because...
    1) in preparing for full adulthood your subconscious may be attempting to reverse previous disgust in an attempt to understand physical desire

    2) he is someone you've thought of for a long time.

    However, normally I'd be quick to suggest something kinky for this one I'd say... don't go there. You couldn't trust him when you were helpless, you cannot trust him now.

    Besides... just imagine if you got pregnant... would you want your kids knowing him? would they be safe from his touch?

    Now yes, you may be wondering what it would be like to play some adult "control" games, perhaps something a little on the rough side, perhaps just to chase those final shadows away.

    That's fine. That's perfectly normal..... Just hold out for someone you can trust to not hurt you, someone you know will keep your needs in mind first

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    • masqued_harmony9
      12 years ago

      I don't want to find him and be with him or anything... He was obviously unstable. He was convinced he was in love with me (he was 16-17 by the way). He kept saying he only did it because I was 'so beautiful and he loved me so much'. There's something wrong with a teenage boy who falls in love with a 3 year old.... weird.

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      • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
        12 years ago

        "only did it because....."

        Sounds like he was trying to convince himself that it was OK... trying to justify his actions.... perhaps to himself and to you.

        and yes there's something very wrong in that.

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        • masqued_harmony9
          12 years ago

          Yeah, he was.... creepy. Which is why it confuses me that it kind of turns me on.... :/

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  • RubyCane
    12 years ago

    Google him, go ahead and give him what he always wanted to get... ;)

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    • shuggy-chan
      12 years ago

      casturation?

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      • disthing
        12 years ago

        Is that a combination of castration and pasteurisation?

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    • masqued_harmony9
      12 years ago

      1) Can't Google him... I was three and don't remember his last name and my parents never talk about it. So I only know his first name and last initial.

      2) I don't really want to give him what he always wanted.... That's why it makes me nervous that the flashbacks turn me on now.

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  • shuggy-chan
    12 years ago

    i know a girl that ... basiclly u discribed, (like im a lil suspicous ur her now) but it kinda messed her up a lil too.

    i think its normal that after ur experiance that a similar situaion, maybe with "some ur actually" attracted to (not that molesting piece of shit) it cool.

    srgg i hate stories like this, they get my "knight in shinning" complex all riled up. x0

    well, just try to find a guy that loves u and isnt against a lil role play, oh and ive been giving these out lately, but i think u deserve one too. *HUG*

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    • masqued_harmony9
      12 years ago

      Well I'm sure I'm not you're friend cuz I haven't told anyone I know about this ^^

      Thank you for your concern though. I feel like it's partly post traumatic stress taking over. Like that was my first ever "sexual experience" so it's rising in sexual thoughts now... I'm really not sure. It makes me a little nervous though.

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      • shuggy-chan
        12 years ago

        IDK, but ur story was erieely similar to what she confessed to me. Now i think wonder how often B.S. like this actually happens. Like i'll admit that to role play something like this would bbe a turn on, but for some to take advantage of such a lil kid really pisses me off.

        I mean im 22, but since i was around 14 i was always the big kid, and i was always watching over the younger kids. and i know that something parent that dont know me well, must assume im some creepy guy, or atleast with a healthy level of mistrust. But to like take advantage for a kid like that, feels revolting to me.

        well sorry i got ranty >_<. but if u even need a ear for ur problem, or another free *hug* one, You can either come back to this site, or my e-mail is on my profile. Best of luck

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  • Andy20.
    12 years ago

    Normal

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