Is it normal for me to be still worrying about my ex?

77% Normal
5 Comments

I and my boyfriend had been together for over three years till I broke up with him three months ago. It was a fine relationship and I was quite happy the entire time. However soon after our third anniversary something just felt wrong and I ended it knowing he would be hurt. I have now met a man and there's a spark between us and I find him irresistible. But I'm still friends with my ex and I still love him a lot and want him to be happy. Even though he seems quite happy I know he's not. I now want to fully move on but I am worried about my ex getting hurt because he tends to be erratic when depressed. Please help me for I'm worried I'm still attached to my ex. I'm 21.

Voting Results
77% Normal
Based on 35 votes (27 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • chatter289
    11 years ago

    I don't think you should be friends with your ex. I'm sure if you were single and were to find out he likes someone else you would feel the same as he would, devastated. You cannot be friends with someone whom you shared a sexual romantic relationships with. You were not just friends you were lovers and shared intimacy and a variety of other things. As a result, you feel the struggle t move on and you don't love him, if you did you still would be with him, you love the Idea of him as 3 years is a long time and he shared a big part of your life.

    Why remain friends? What's the motive? Are you planning on introducing your ex to future partners? Planning to go out on lunch as you do with your other friends? Planning on talking to hm about your other relationships?. Most people, and for those that say this may not be the case are bullshitting, have a motivate for remaining friends. Motivation that one day in the future you 2 might cross paths or if you ever get lonely have a fuck buddy. You cannot be friends with someone you had sexual relations with because the sexual aspect that drew you together will always be there no matter what, even if you're no longer in love with them. Do yourself and him a favour and leave the past be. You choose to leave him so let him be because deep down inside he might be thinking you 2 might get together again.... One in love will ALWAYS think that and I know because I have been there myself.

    Move on and let the past be. Good luck x

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  • kitkatbar
    9 years ago

    Be there for him as a friend and always be honest. Tell him you had mixed feelings for a long time and that you are sorry for leading him on. Don't blame anything on him, so he knows it's not something he did wrong. And Pray.

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  • pem24
    11 years ago

    Its his responsibility to fix the emotions he's undergoing with, not yours.

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  • X_x52-_-Scarsx_X
    11 years ago

    Its normal, but when u walk away and he doesn't chase after u keep walking. <3 U will be fine and he will also.

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  • *~ThePurplePixie~*
    11 years ago

    Hello there!

    What a love triangle! Phew, sounds like a tough one to solve.
    Perhaps your friendship with your ex is the key to this struggle - if you play all the right cards, you may be able to compromise and find a way to share out the happiness.

    It's perfectly normal to want your ex to be happy - in fact, it's really kind!

    As you've split up and there's a new guy on your horizon, maybe you could see where that takes you...he could be a new boyfriend!
    However, you don't want to leave your ex feeling left out and miserable, so make sure you spend lots of time chatting and having fun with him.

    It's awesome that your ex is still a friend - how about asking him if he's really happy? Give him a little hug and tell him how much you care...ask if there's anything you can do to make him feel happy again.
    Above all else, just being a good friend to your ex is super important!

    Good luck, and feel free to ask any questions!

    xx

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