Is it normal for me to be gay?

4 Comments

When I was a younger like 3 or 4 my father started to have sex with me. Now I know it wasn't right. I know it was sick. But at the time I chose not to say anything to anyone cause my mom would have killed my dad and we four children (2 brothers, a sister, and I --me being the youngest and my sister being oldest)would probably be split up. Well as time went on I started to feel that this was the only way my father could show affection for me and excepted it. And I got to where I used it to get out of chores. It went on all the way up until I was 16 years old and it was a couple of months after one of my brothers passed away. My question is was it all those years with my dad (and on another post you can see I did my brothers as well) make me gay?

Yes it is Normal 63
you need professional help 88
you are so gay 12
your father made you gay 21
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Comments ( 4 )
  • Bradx13465
    12 years ago

    People are a product of their environment, I think the first thing you should do is see a head shrinker. They are going to be able to give far better advice than anyone on this site can give. But in my humble opinion, what he did to you is beyond any form of normality. And according to what you wrote you have had sex with your brothers. If you ever have kids and don't get help for yourself, I think he's planted a seed where you probably will do the same to your own kids. Get professional help, this is not fucking normal in any way. Good luck to you, I think your going to need it.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      well as far as seeing a head shrink. I already did that..the shrink said i was a well adjusted individual. and I decided a long time ago that I would never have kids cause i would not want to keep this going even though i feel that i would never harm a child in that manner. It makes me extremely angry when i hear about that. i know he was wrong in doing what he did.. that wasnt the question.. My question is am i gay because of it. I would like to hear from others that have been in the same situations that i was in. and if they live straight or gay lives..

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      • Avaii
        10 years ago

        First off, I'm sorry this happened to you, dude. Truly. And I encourage you to take what people will say to you on this site with a grain of salt, because people on the internet talk a lot of shit.

        That said, I don't think anyone or anything can necessarily "make" you into any given sexuality. Yes, events happen in the past and shape us in the future, but there is no given event or perpetration that will automatically directly cause someone to be any sexuality (gay, straight, bi, asexual, etc.). Is it true that men who have been sexually assaulted at a young age are more likely to be gay when they grow up than any other given man? Yes. However, are there men who were sexually assaulted who grow up to be completely straight? Also yes.

        I hate to be ambiguous, but ultimately the only person who can know if you are gay is you yourself. If you don't know what the Kinsey scale is, look it up. Think carefully about your answer. The closer you are to "0", the more heterosexual you are. The closer to "7", the more homosexual. Middle numbers are varying degrees of bisexuality. It is simply a measure of how attracted to the respective sexes you are. Ultimately that is all sexuality is. Attraction (and amount of attraction) to one, both, or neither sex.

        Is it possible that your father's assaults on you contributed towards your becoming ("made") gay, if you find that you are in fact more attracted to men than women? Yes. However, I wouldn't worry about the cause too much, honestly. I am gay, and I was never assaulted. I have gay friends who were assaulted and were not assaulted. I have even dated men who were and were not assaulted. Ultimately, we are all just gay men. It's not like there are "gays who were assaulted" and "natural gays", and never the two shall meet. If you like guys, you're gay, if you like women, you're straight, etc. etc. That's all! No more information needed to determine sexuality!

        If you do decide that you're gay (and the only person who can decide that is you), I hope you know that that's ok. Just because you were assaulted at a young age does not mean that you are "damaged goods" or anything like that. Being gay is not a punishment for having been assaulted. It is simply a result of your circumstances. If you are gay, feel free to date men! Have a relationship! Have (safe) sex! Believe me, it's great. Don't punish yourself for something that was completely outside of your control. Live your life the way you want to, and enjoy it.

        All that said, I think it would probably be a good idea to seek out a psychologist. I don't think there's anything wrong with you, it's just good to have someone knowledgeable to talk to about heady issues like this. Don't rely on the internet, most of the people on it are jerks, haha. I see a psychologist and I'm not "broken". It's just good to be able to work through tough life things with someone qualified to give you good advice. I think the world would be a better place if everyone saw a therapist, honestly.

        I honestly hope that helped. I understand that what you're going through is indescribably tough; I can't even imagine how much so. If you have more questions for me, I would love to answer them. Even if you just want someone to talk to. I'm just a young gay guy, but I like talking to people and if you need someone to help you process I'm here.

        Good luck and God bless, friend. Whether you are gay or not I am proud to call you brother :)

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  • mscuuriouss
    11 years ago

    If you're comfortable with yourself today, and have made it through any trauma that might have caused for the most part, and you feel healthy; then only you can make that call. Are you sexually, physically, mentally, romantically, etc., attracted to men? If so then yes you're gay. Are you also attracted to women? Then you may be bi. If your attraction goes beyond gender, then you may be pansexual.

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