Is it normal for me to be feeling so lost?

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3 Comments

I'm 30 years old, and so frustrated with my life/where I am! NOTHING is going right, I have no clue who I am, who I want to be, or where I should be heading. I'm just so fed up with school (and it not really taking me anywhere), lack of a real job, my health, the doctor who wants to give up on me, having to take medication for basically the rest of my life (I suffer from fibromyalgia, arthritis, migraines, vasodepressor syncope, etc.), and so much more.

I was abused as a child physically, mentally, and verbally. I was also verbally raped as a teenager. I have secluded myself (sort-of, I'm not a true recluse and I have "friends"). I don't allow myself to get close to others, as it's hard for me to trust people. I did allow myself to get close to two people over the last year and a half, and they totally destroyed all that we had (well the 1 did, and since the other is related to her it ended our whole friend/best friend bond).

I joined a group awhile ago that helped me deal with some of the abuse from my past, but over time it has made the wounds even more raw, deep, and sore. There also is this lingering "something" that I have something buried deep within me that is trying to come out. Some memory(ies) that I buried long ago that is trying to haunt me. It's so fuzzy, but becoming more and more real and my panic attacks/frayed nerves are becoming more severe. I pray that God will let it remain buried if it's going to cause me harm (of any kind!) because I truly can not handle any more right now.

Any thoughts?

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50% Normal
Based on 24 votes (12 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • wiseoldlady
    11 years ago

    I always said that I spent my 20's and 30's learning what I needed to know about life. I was frustrated that I was young, but too messed up and confused to enjoy it. Whatever secret is hidden in you will be better to come out. That way you can deal with it. It won't haunt you any more.
    In the mean time, find something healthy that helps take the edge off, something that helps you relax.Yes, it's normal to feel lost in your situation.

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  • IFeelUdude
    11 years ago

    Sorry u feel that way... Dude ur doing a good job.. Try and improve ur goals and set up everything u want

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  • suckonthis9
    11 years ago

    Who or what is this deity that you speak of?
    What are you asking them for?

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