Is it normal for many people to tell you everything about their lives?

76% Normal
6 Comments

I am a guy and I am just wondering, is it normal for many people (friends, acquaintances, etc.) to open up to you so easily that they tell you everything about them (their past failures, emotional scars, insecurities, vulnerabilities, intimate information, etc.)?

I just noticed that a lot of people (friends, acquaintances, coworkers, etc.) tell me very intimate details about their lives and I was wondering if there is anything about me that makes people think that I am a person who is OK to share that information with. Not that I am complaining, I am just wondering. It is actually my pleasure to help people out and give advice.

For instance, I barely know this other guy I go to college with (maybe a month) and then he unloads on me that he has felt that he has repressed and neglected his feelings because of school work, and then outright breaks down and cries in front of me. He tells me other intimate details about his life. Of course I comforted him with words (I am not a touchy feely person). And even before this particular instance, MANY more people have cried in front of me, unloading all of their feelings on me.

What I find weird about this whole situation is that I do not perceive myself as a nurturing type (I really am not); I think it is obvious that I am not a fan of touching other people (I keep a certain distance to people when interacting with them) and I have been told by many that they initially thought I was intimidating (I kind of have a blank/poker face most of the time, and I can't do much to change my neutral expression); I am not an overly friendly type of person. I always look calm, collected, and expressionless. The expression of Jason Bourne here is a good representation of what my facial emotion typically looks like.

When I respond to them, I always offer honest, logical, and optimistic advice; I am always trying to find solutions to problems because I know that there is always a way to improve and fix things.

So why do you think people feel comfortable interacting with me this way? The reason I want to know is because I want to do a better job at it, since I have accepted that people will end up doing the same form of interaction towards me.

Voting Results
76% Normal
Based on 21 votes (16 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • beele
    9 years ago

    I can really relate to this post.
    For the most part, I think that people open up so easily to someone like you because just by being around you they can tell that you are, in one way or another, wise/good at listening/someone they can trust with their truths.
    Despite your what I like to call resting bitchface, people gravitate towards you because of the way they feel when they're around you.

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  • MangoTango
    9 years ago

    "the expression of Jason Bourne" ? And, you can get people to open up to you? OMG, have you considered a career as a SPY?

    Just think, you can get people to tell you everything.

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  • Dad
    9 years ago

    Well, I'd like to start by saying that was written exceptionally well; and its refreshing knowing that young adults are still being taught how to read and write properly. :)

    You asked two things that ironically both have the same answer.
    Why do people lay out their problems to you?
    Am I to get better at helping these people in the future?

    It's because sometimes people need to just tell people their personal issues. It has a way of unloading these bad feelings and helps them feel like they are better for it. Finally somebody listened and now knows.

    You could get better, but you first need to know the best thing to do in ALL cases way before any interaction on your behalf.

    Here's my advice to you. Just listen, don't fix.
    Most of the time people just need you to listen to them, your helpful 'fixing' words are just not needed. You need to lend an ear, and on the next occasion you see them, ask them how are things now, but again - do not fix.

    I know it seems very easy to you to fix the situation with minimal amount of words. You should not do this. Just about ALL of the times people do this they just need someone to listen and possibly acknowledge that you have.

    Here's a good way to say this after listening to someone.
    Thanks for allowing me to hear all of that, I'll continue to ask how you are getting on next time we see each other.

    I know it sounds cold, and you can easily 'fix' the issue. But emotions aren't logical steps, they take time ;)

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    • edapple
      9 years ago

      Thanks for the advice! I will definitely be more inclined just to simply listen.

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      • Dad
        9 years ago

        Thanks for understanding, you sound like a loving caring type of person. It will be interesting to hear back if you give it a go next time :) Let me know. This post (I think) stays open forever.

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  • Arm0se
    9 years ago

    Well, it's normal for me, but I know how to talk it out of people. :p

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