Is it normal for his family to hate our engagement?

60% Normal
21 Comments

This past Sunday, my boyfriend of 4 months proposed to me.. that night, I posted it on FaceBook and now everyone is flipping out. Instantly I got 2 calls from my mom and a friend, and my fiance got a call from his sister (she was yelling at him) and his family was getting mad and everything. We had a handfull of people congratulate us, but most of his family is really upset. We even tried to tell them that we're not actually getting married until September..
Is it normal for families to hate an engagement this much?

Voting Results
60% Normal
Based on 30 votes (18 yes)
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Comments ( 21 )
  • NeuroNeptunian
    12 years ago

    Dating them for four months, and you're only 18? And they found out through Facebook? So instead of calling or texting them and telling them the good news, your first thought was "OMG, I GOTS TO POWST DIS ON FB LOL!". There are many people that I have known for 3-5 years, but knowing them is not the same as bonding with them and all that shizz, come on.

    If you can't understand how that would upset some folks in your family, then you're not mature enough to be married. Period.

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    • Alison89
      12 years ago

      Yeah, and I'm sure there were some questions like, "Do you HAVE to get married?" (pregnant)

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      • ThatsWhatWeDeerDo
        12 years ago

        Actually there weren't. We haven't done that..

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    • ThatsWhatWeDeerDo
      12 years ago

      I couldn't call or text because I was already on the phone with my fiance.. I wasn't able to let them know personally..

      I can understand why they'd be upset.. Last time I checked, I was asking if it was NORMAL... Duh..

      And beeteedub, I don't talk like that.. And I don't post everything on FaceBook

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      • NeuroNeptunian
        12 years ago

        "I couldn't call or text because I was already on the phone with my fiance.. I wasn't able to let them know personally.."

        ...
        ...
        You know that there is an "end call" button on most modern telephones, right?

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        • ThatsWhatWeDeerDo
          12 years ago

          Yeah.. I'm not stupid.. I wanted to talk to him though

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          • NeuroNeptunian
            12 years ago

            Ok, yeah, that sounds really stupid.

            I'm sorry but you couldn't wait to tell them that you were engaged before posting it on facebook?
            You just HAD to talk to HIM, there was no way that your little heart could conceive of hanging up for a few minutes and telling your family?

            And you think you're ready to be married?
            Do you not understand that you have the rest of your lives to talk to eachother?
            And you're putting more precendence on talking to your fiance over the phone as opposed to calling your friends and family and letting them know as opposed to letting them find out through an impoersonal social networking site?

            Damn it, see, I was expecting to hear an argument about how you actually ARE mature enough to get married but you sound like a child, still!

            I couldn't tell my family, I was on the phone with my fiance? Seriously? Did he propose over the phone? Or are you guys glued to the phone to eachother when he is not around? Like, he proposed and then left immediately and called you the moment he left?

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            • ThatsWhatWeDeerDo
              12 years ago

              I was talking on the phone with him when I posted it. He told me to go ahead and do it..
              I just didn't want to fucking hang up!! Ok?? I like talking to him!! We talk every day! We enjoy it! Sheesh...

              I do know that, but right now, we still like just being with each other. We can't get enough of each other. Every time we're away from each other, we absolutely can't stand it...

              I am mature enough! Just because I posted about my engagement on facebook doesn't mean I'm not mature!

              No, he didn't propose over the phone.. that would be dumb...
              Ok, here's how that day went:
              We went to church in the morning, after we went to the movies.. that's where he proposed (due to personal memories there), we went to night church service, then went home..... when I got home, that's when he called and I posted on FaceBook....
              We call as soon as we get home no matter how much of the day we've spent together.. We love each other so much.. shouldn't that be enough?

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  • hottmess
    12 years ago

    FaceBook is not the proper way to inform your family and close friends that you are getting engaged, they deserve better than that. If someone you were close to was getting engaged to someone they had been dating for four months, how would you react?

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    • ThatsWhatWeDeerDo
      12 years ago

      I would be excited for them

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  • joybird
    12 years ago

    With the divorce rate being so high they don't want you to waste your time / money on a wedding!

    You should at least wait until your brains have grown up (25yo) coz I really don't see the rush if you plan to be together for the next 60+ years! You two are going to be sick looking at each other.

    If my son came home engaged after 4 months I'd take him to a psychiatrist!

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  • sleepyhead
    12 years ago

    I imagine they are thinking the same as me...4 months??!!...I mean its understandable if you two have known each other forever but still it seems a bit rushed...how old are you anyways?..mayb they are freeing out over the age...but still take your time and really get to know each other I've been with my boyfriend for a lil over a year and we planning on getting married but we've know each other ever since we were 12 and I'm still finding out new things about him...my parents have been married 21 years and they still surprise each other...so just take your time and make sure that's the person who you want to b the rest of your life with...and if there's a problem don't think it's going to be resolved once you guys are married...that's usually when it escalates...seen it many times...

    sorry so long...

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    • ThatsWhatWeDeerDo
      12 years ago

      We've known each other for 3 years... but we're very open with each other and we feel like we were meant to be.. we both feel that and we don't ever want to be away from each other.
      I am 18, he's 20 (21 in April)

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      • pansyfugufish
        12 years ago

        When he's 21 he'll be able to get into bars you can't. If I was dating someone I knew couldn't go where I go, I would cheat on them... especially if I know they were hopelessly dedicated to me, wouldn't be able to find out and wen i was 21, I have some oats to sew, if you know what i mean. Just putting things in perspective for you.

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      • lc1988
        12 years ago

        That's probably why they're freaking out. Hopefully in time they'll see. Good Luck.

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  • dinz
    12 years ago

    I do understand their concern - you and your partner only been with eachother for four months. Another thing, whatever happened to announcing it in person with family before you announce it on Facebook? Maybe I'm old fashioned.

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    • ThatsWhatWeDeerDo
      12 years ago

      I can't announce it in person! They live 300 miles away!! I don't have a drivers license, so I can't drive to see them... I would've LOVED to tell them in person, but I just couldn't...

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  • Saycheese
    12 years ago

    I don't understand people that get married so young when they haven't lived on their own yet.

    I personally don't know too much myself and need to get myself together more... I'm waiting to live on my own without my parents help anymore before I get a boyfriend even. I know that sounds odd but I like being free and want to focus on my career goals before settling for a boyfriend. I probably won't be married till about 28+ too.

    Also only 4 months of being together. You're at the lovey dovey state. Wait till you are with him longer and live with him after you're married. It most likely won't go so well. I'm just saying...

    There is a 50% divorce rate in the U.S. The main reason is because couples get married way too fast. They say that you aren't ready if you have to be with your partner all the time to be happy. You need to be able to live by yourself before getting married. Meaning, you need to be happy when you are a lone, if you get sad and lonely by yourself; you haven't found yourself.

    Just trying to help prepare you for whats to come, I know this maybe harsh but it's true.

    Good luck with your marriage and I mean it. Not saying it won't work out because life can be a mystery. :)

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