Is it normal for his daughter to report back to him

I don't agree with the first poster. You might not be her real mom but stepmother still had mother in the name. And as an adult she has to respect you. You need to make it clear that you are in charge at times. Her father has absolute say, but you're an adult so you can judge for yourself what an appropriate punishment is.
It also sounds like the father is being made to chose between his wife and kid. Whether it is you doing that or the kid doesn't matter. The father shouldt be put in a posision where he has to pick.
When she does go to her father, explain what happened calmly without getting angry what happene and what you think the punishment should be. Chances are he will agree too.

Lol I'm sure I contradicte myself a little here xP
Good luck.

leave her alone. when my step mom tries to tell me what to do i get up , walk out of the room, and tell my dad to tell her to leave me alon, and im 19 years old!
kids dont like replacement mommies, especially when they boss you around and take attention away from them. i dont know the circumstances of your relationship, but my dad left my mom for this other women, who i still believe is only after his money and fancy house, so in my mind shes nothing but a homewrecker. if your partner left her mother for you, of course shes going to hold on to some resentment because she is loyal to her mother.
if you see her doing something wrong, you go tell her dad and let him figure out how to punish her. shes not your kid.

I say put her in a potato sac, beat the shit outta her and call it a day. That'll give her summin to bitch about.

get a digital voice recorder if you have to its a shame but might be nessary (hide it in a pocket they work great and not expensive)

the father should ALWAYS be on ur side especially if she is eleven years old its sad that it has to come to taking sides but if thats how its turning out but also if her mother is passed then u have a even bigger responsibility u are her only mother and u need to quit saying she is his kid and start saying our kid have a talk with her and see where it goes she needs discipline and guidance and guidance is most important.She also needs someone to know she is hurting her mothers died she needs to talk she sounds like she is on a road to disaster

Fair comment. I've been here for 3.5 years and this has started happening in the last 6 months

if you dont tyr to see from this little girls perspective, you will never get her trust, or respect.
I just know that when some lady moved into my house and started telling me whta to do, i started to act out. dont let your control issues make her feel the need to rebel even more

The cane is not even a consideration here. One I've never smacked my own kids never mind caned someone elses.
But if that worked for you that's good, it worked for me too although I got the slipper not the cane lol!

For anyone who is still believing I'm a homewrecker I am not. Mist of the day I'm the only person his kids have so I am going to pull her whether it upsets people or not. And foe the girl talking about always having daddys attention, that's why we have problem kids in this world because they are spoilt, attention seekers like you!
Daddy can divide his attention you know

use a cane thats what my grabdna did,and thinking about it, it taught me a lot.... now im succeful with my head looking in the right direction.

Then telling her and punishing her is your job as an adult, not just as a stepmom especially if you have her that long.
Just remember that when you married her father in a way you also married her in that they're a set and will not separate.

I agree with the first poster . Her father is not acting like an adult either so u cabt b the mother figurein her life everytime u try he doesn't believe u. O wud ignore her and tell her father to handle his kid

Oh and if I see her do something wrong I tell her, end of. If she doesn't like it then she knows not to do it.
And as for me running to her father it's not gonna happen.
If I'm good enough to watch his kids for 10-15 hours a day then i'm good enough to put her in the right when she's wrong!
When she's bullying MY daughter I pull her because I don't want my daughter being bullied by anyone

Her mothers dead so get your head out your ass and realise that not everyone like spoilt little children!

Don't be a tattle tell- try to find common ground with the 11 year old who feels neglected- or She's just really that evil. And in that case have fun

Can't blame the daughter I'm lucky enough to not have divorced parents but as far as all I've heard step mommies are home wreckers. I know for a fact if I was ur step daughter I would make sure I was still my daddies center of attention not you!