Is it normal for him too.

75% Normal
4 Comments

My boyfriend and i are going on 2 years now. In the two years we both have lied and we both have done things we're not proud of. But I just wanna know is it normal for men to hold things against you, everyday? I warned him from day 1 I am not comfortable with sex. And everyday I don't put out I make him feel weird, because I was raped and I'm now uncomfortable with being touched. Having sex with me is weird cause I've had past lovers. Like wtf. What am I doing wrong. Yeah we don't fuck everyday. But I make sure I try to show him I love him everyday. Even if it's the small stuff like bringing home his favorite drink from work or buying him a c.d every time I get paid. Idk

Voting Results
75% Normal
Based on 8 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • CDmale4fem
    6 years ago

    He really needs to respect your wishes to avoid the sex topic until you feel ready to. I am a guy and it's been just over 30 years ago, but while I was in the Navy I was sexually abused by one of my supervisors. If the jackass you are dating, if he can't respect you on that level, then you would probably do better to move on and find someone else. He probably says things like "I'm a guy, I have needs". I am a guy, I have needs too. It wouldnt be enough that I would treat you like that. (If u were my gf). Ask him how he would feel if he got raped. I know that after my deal, I didn't want to be alone with anyone male or female. I can say that I fully understand where you are coming from. I'm sorry that happened to you. No one deserves that. Good luck. But if he can't respect your needs and all tell him to hit the road.

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  • nikkiclaire
    6 years ago

    I don't know what to say to this because I have deep emapthy for you. I also didn't completely understand if you two ever have sex or not. So forgive me for assuming you don't, but it was unclear from your post.

    I know firsthand what you went through, its horrifc, however, it is not fair to ask someone to never have sex, ever. I understand you try to make up for it but sex is really important. Of course, it's not the most important thing, love is, but look what you are asking of him.

    The two of you will never know the intamcy of making love.

    I agree he should never, ever throw this in your face and it's great that you didn't lead him on. The thing is tho, your choice to never have sex is going to come with ramifications.

    Why should your traumatic life experience affect his enjoyment of life, or yours for that matter.

    I hope you are in treatment. I am. Every day you continue this fear, is another day you give your rapist power over you. He is continuing to rape you, is what has been explained to me.

    I wish you luck. Please get the help you need to enjoy sex and your life again.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      It's not that we don't ever have sex. I try I really do but he wants it allow the time.

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      • nikkiclaire
        6 years ago

        Well thats different than never and I am sorry I jumped to conclusions.

        I don't know why no one on here thinks this is important and hasn't responded to you but it is.

        Look we all have issues and we all have to find something thats comfortable for us. Pressuring isnt good and I hope he doesnt do that.

        If you two can't find something you are both happy with then its not right. Thats how i feel.

        He shouldn't have to pressure and you shouldn't have to feel pressured.

        Talk to him and see if you can find a nice balance. If you can't then something isn't right and you need to make a descision.

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